The NRA Apologizes…or Something

Yesterday, the NRA apologized for saying, "Suck my dick, you faggot" to the gun-brandishing members of Open Carry Texas. The NRA's top lobbyist, Chris Cox, went on NRA radio to say how sorry he was for his terrible words.

Said Cox, "I said the most hurtful word I could think of at that moment and, you know, I didn't mean this in the sense of the word...I didn't mean it in a homophobic way. And I think that doesn't matter, you know? How you mean things doesn't matter. Words have weight and meaning and the word I chose was grotesque and no one deserves to say and hear words like that...My heart's broken and I genuinely am deeply sorry to anyone who's been affected by that term in their life. I'm sorry and I don't deserve or expect your forgiveness, but what I'll ask is that at home, if you're watching this, and you're a young person especially, if someone says something that hurts you or angers you, use me as an example of what not to do and don't respond with hatred or anger, because you're just adding more ugliness into the world and again, I'm just so sorry."

Oh, wait. That was actor Jonah Hill on The Tonight Show last night, demonstrating sincere regret for his outburst at a scumsucking bit of worm shit (see? there are other words you can use, Jonah) who followed him around all day, baiting Hill and snapping photos. What Hill did was say he was sorry to the people who needed to hear his mea culpa, and he stood up like a mensch and did so.

Cox, on the other hand, apologized for the NRA issuing a statement that it's "downright weird" that some gun owners want to carry their loaded semi-automatic rifles openly into restaurants, even those that have small children around. The statement, which is still on the NRA's website, also said, "To those who are not acquainted with the dubious practice of using public displays of firearms as a means to draw attention to oneself or one's cause, it can be downright scary." (The statement also attacks the possibility of smart gun technology being required by state governments, so the NRA was never gonna be your new boyfriend.)

The NRA ended its statement hopefully, saying the organization "certainly does not support bans…on carrying firearms in public, including in restaurants. We think people are intelligent enough to resolve these issues in a reasonable way for themselves," which means the NRA has never actually met its members. Because, see, what those members who belong to Open Carry Texas did was cut up their NRA membership cards and declare, no shit, that "If they do not retract their disgusting and disrespectful comments, OCT will have no choice but to withdraw its full support of the NRA and establish relationships with other gun rights organizations that fight for ALL gun rights, instead of just paying them lip service the way the NRA appears to be doing."

Now, the NRA could have said, "Are you fucking pathetic fucknuts that stupid? You understand how bad you're making the rest of us look?" Jesus, it could have started a hashtag: #notallgunowners. It could have taken a stand and stood by its own assertion that "It makes folks who might normally be perfectly open-minded about firearms feel uncomfortable and question the motives of pro-gun advocates."

Nope. Motherfuckers caved like a soda can under an elephant's foot. It was a piece of "commentary," Cox said, not NRA policy (even though it's unsigned and starts, "Here at NRA, we are big fans of responsible behavior").

And, in one of the great pussy statements of all time, Cox said, "The National Rifle Association unapologetically and unflinchingly supports the right of self-defense and what that means is that our members and our supporters have a right to carry a firearm in any place they have a legal right to be. If that means open carry, we support open carry. If it means concealed carry, it means concealed carry. So unequivocally we support open carry, we've been the leader of open carry efforts across this country, the leader in opposing efforts to curtail the ability to carry firearms, and that's something we're proud of and we do every day for our members." Go nuts, assholes, go fuckin' nuts. Head out to the Beef Trough or whatever family restaurant with your guns out like your fly is unzipped.

Needless to say, Open Carry Texas was thrilled. On its Facebook page, it said, "Open Carry Texas would like to both thank and applaud Chris Cox and the National Rifle Association for clarification on their stance of open carry. We remain confident that the NRA will aid with legislative support, to help in getting an open carry bill both drafted, and passed in the 2015 legislative session. With or without support of the NRA, our mission is unchanged: to legalize open carry of modern handguns in Texas and to continue to educate and train Texans in regard to safely carrying firearms openly."

Yeah, that's a helluva goal there. A life well spent.

And, once again, the NRA fails to apologize to the people to whom they owe a never-ending stream of apologies.