The Quickest, Easiest Destruction of a Conservative Pundit You'll See Today:
Tucker Carlson - that bow-tie wearing cockhole, one of the most purely stupid "thinkers" the right has produced in the last twenty years, belonging to the decent-face, dim-brain species that includes S.E. Cupp and Ben Domenech - now prances and preens with his internet concern, The Daily Caller, which is sort of like Huffington Post except with less side-boob and more full-on boob obsession.

Lately, The DC (see? Isn't that clever?) has been hawking the "story" of how Democratic Sen. Robert Menendez might have hired prostitutes in the Dominican Republic. The Washington Post did some, you know, reporting and discovered that one of the prostitutes was hired to read a script on video and lie to incriminate Menendez. The DC accused the Post of talking to "the wrong prostitute." Carlson himself spoke to the Post's Erik Wemple to say that the newspaper was wrong and Carlson's website's story was right. Wemple helpfully points out another part of the Post's story: "FBI agents conducting interviews in the Dominican Republic have found no evidence to back up the tipster’s allegations."

Today, we are not concerned with Menendez. No, today we are concerned with Tucker Carlson and the way that conservative allegations on anything skeevy that a Democrat may or may not have done automatically become articles of faith around the right-wing biosphere.

For we can take Carlson apart so easily on this matter it barely requires more than a Google search of "Tucker Carlson" and "David Vitter." In case the kids out there don't remember, Vitter is the Republicans senator from Louisiana who frequented prostitutes in New Orleans. He got reelected in 2010, post-scandal, precisely because conservatives like Carlson decided that, when it comes to their own, who gives a happy monkey fuck what they do, as long as they toe the ideological line.

In fact, let's let Carlson speak for himself, as he did on his then-MSNBC show Tucker, on July 11, 2007. It is an object lesson in how repulsive this bottom-feeding scum worm actually is. Remember: Vitter wasn't "accused" of whoring it up. He did it. And, believe it or not, even in New Orleans, that's illegal. Carlson, talking to Michael Rectenwald, the head of some fucking organization that released the names of public figures who visited the brothel of a certain madam, actually said, "How could you justify doing something like this? Why is it your business?"

Remember, again: Vitter, a Senator, broke the law. "I don‘t remember David Vitter making any case that people who frequent prostitutes ought to be punished more severely than they are," Carlson offered.

Remember, one more time: Carlson acknowledges that Vitter had sex with prostitutes, which is against the law. But still he could say, "I don‘t know anything about you other than you are holding up this guy‘s sex life to public ridicule. And you ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Now, all that is fine and dandy. We could stop there, having shown that Carlson is a hypocrite, of course, of course. But let's nail this coffin shut and toss it in the ocean with Carlson still alive inside. Let's show the true depths of delusion, the miasma of hypocrisy in which the right wallows.

Tucker Carlson, whose internet news outlet is unrelentingly pursuing Bob Menendez on whether or not he had sex with prostitutes, who proclaimed that David Vitter's actual sex with prostitutes was off-limits for discussion, said on July 11, 2007, on a program that bore his first name, "If this were [Democrat] Russ Feingold...I would be up there making the same argument that Russ Feingold's personal [life] ought to be off limits from creeps and scandal mongers like you...who profit from digging into other people's sex lives."