Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Snort Tang Off the Bridge of Callista's Nose:

That's GOP presidential candidate and former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich yesterday at Huntsville, Alabama's U.S. Space and Rocket Center. It's also the home of Space Camp. And that's a big damn rocket he's standing in front of, welcoming it with open arms, like it's God's cock and he's just so happy to suck it. A merry stop on the way to Atlanta.

Of course, Gingrich talked up the space program, and symbolically referenced his campaign, with "This is the launching pad for the next phase of excitement in invention." And, bizarrely, he brought up Saturday Night Live, which still wasn't as bad as his even more bizarre victory speech after the results of the Super Tuesday Georgia primary. Said Newt, "Far from backing off, I invite Saturday Night Live to come to Huntsville to tape one of their skits. They can tape it at the Space Camp. Because I want to restate: America has a destiny in space. That’s who we are." And that's some thin skin on a big boy.

As egotistical as the bloated avatar for all things craven and awful in American politics was, it was hard to top Gingrich's spokesman, R.C. Hammond, for pure, unadulterated batshittery while supporting his man: "The same folks who mocked Newt Gingrich are the same people who don’t want to cure cancer, who don’t want to cure Alzheimer’s, who don’t want to fix our public school system." You got that? If you think Gingrich is a ludicrous shit dumpling who should be tossed out in the garbage of history, you want old people to have Alzheimer's. Ahh, logic.

Back at Space Camp, Gingrich turned around and bent over, ready for the rocket to give him the full force of its next phase of excitement.