Photos That Do Portend the End of Days (Just Not the Christian Way):

Yes, that is what it looks like. It is a lake of blood. Well, more precisely, it's the remnants of the OC Fisher Reservoir in Texas. It is effectively completely dry, except for that puddle. Thousands of dead fish crowded the shrinking water trying to survive and failing. That red color is due to bacteria that flourishes and helps things get even killier. Despoiled nature, not, you know, vengeful sky wizard. It was a 5400 acre lake that was 53 feet at its deepest point. It hasn't been that deep since 1982. This is what it looked like at almost the same spot in 2009, at 2% of capacity:

The drought in Texas is so bad that when Tropical Storm Don hit last week, the air was like a Bounty paper towel commercial. It just got sucked dry and was done. Almost no desperately needed rain.

Some people look at Fisher Reservoir and see it as a sign that Jesus is about to come back to earth. One might imagine that a God who created earth would return just because he's so pissed off with how much we've fucked up his beautiful planet. He might even be pretty biblically angry that people who should know better don't do a damn thing to help it. So maybe God's just gettin' out his smite-sword and is ready to take out some assholes because it's pretty clear he doesn't care what Texans have to say.

See, back in April, Texas Governor Rick Perry signed a proclamation declaring April 21-24 "Days of Prayer" for rain. In May, less than two inches of rain fell. In June, less than one. So either the people of Texas are Sodom and Gomorrah-like sinners who can't pray enough to please a god with such low self-esteem. Or God hates Texas and is just fucking with it because it's raining at least a bit more in states around it. Or Rick Perry is just a pathetic fuckbag who would do anything to make himself seem like the evangelicals' candidate for president.

'Cause, see, prayer doesn't do shit other than make the person praying have a moment when they think peace and/or happiness are possible, like masturbation, but less effective. Politicians, though, they can fuck with the world. Rick Perry governs the state that puts the most carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Last year, when the EPA said it would regulate greenhouse gases, Perry filed suit with the U.S. Court of Appeals to overturn the EPA's authority. In his recent book he said that global warming is "all one contrived phony mess."

Apparently, God is showing Perry otherwise because his answer to the prayers of Texans is "No."

(By the way, the photo at top was taken a week ago. Even the blood is probably dried by now.)