2/24/2010

GOP Crapping Their Pants Over Reconciliation:
They're shitting themselves at the prospect. You can tell by their words, their sweaty brows, their quavering voices, their huffy outrage, all masking that they are shitting themselves. Ask any news person who has interviewed a GOP senator in the last few days. All of the Republicans reek of shit. And it would do no good to change their panties because at the sound of the word "reconciliation," they just shit themselves again. The word itself is one they have used on many occasions to push through legislation in avoidance of the beaten-to-death filibuster. But now it is being used against them, which means that all the screaming in the world will amount to nothing more than dissipated noise in a vacuum.

Mitch McConnell shit himself on live television this past Sunday with Chris "I Gave Rupert Murdoch My Family's Integrity" Wallace, when he said of the possibility of health care reform passing the Senate through reconciliation, "The American people do not want this bill to pass, and it strikes me as rather arrogant to say, 'Well, we’re going to give it to you anyway.'"

On Monday, Olympia "Wow, How Fast Have I Gone From Queen to Beggar" Snowe shit herself loudly in front of reporters after the jobs bill vote on Monday when she said, "I don’t see reconciliation as acceptable. I think that that’s a huge mistake, frankly — tactically, strategically and in terms of what is in the best interest of the American people. And I think that that would be a very important step, and gesture, if the president and the leadership removed it, rather than having that as sort of wielding this power, you know, by using an arbitrary tool for purposes that have not been heretofore used."

Back on February 14, John Kyl shit himself in front of new CNN State of the Union anchor Candy Crowley, who wondered if she signed up for beshitted pants duty. Kyl said, "What that means is they’ve devised the process by which they can jam the bill through that the president has supported in the past, without Republican ideas in it. Reconciliation is not the process for comprehensive bills like this. It’s for balancing the budget."

Jim Demint shit himself so completely that he even splattered his aides when he called reconciliation "tyrannical," which means he thinks that passing a bill by a majority of Senators in, you know, the whole Senate is the equivalent of Pol Pot. He promises to try to gum up the works with endless amendments. DeMint is pretty much the underwear bomber of the Senate, though, so it's to be expected that he'll be a total dickbag.

You know you've got your opponent cornered when he starts saying that the rules of the game are rigged against him. The question is whether or not the other players are willing to stick to the rules as they stand.