The Petraeus/Crocker Hearings: If a Country Fell in the Forest...:
You know, the Rude Pundit has now read the transcripts of yesterday's Senate hearings with the Bush administration's pet general, David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker. And he's tried, really tried, to find anything worth a happy monkey fuck to comment on, but ultimately, the entire exercise was so tedious, so repetitive, so utterly worthless that one's time would be better spent slamming one's fingers repeatedly in a large, oak door. Or by masturbating to particularly disturbing amputee porn, the kind with un-healed burn scars to tantalize and tease an orgasm out of one.

Because, truly, the whole sorry thing went something like this: Senator A says all kinds of shit about how crappy things are going and asks the two dudes what they're gonna do, and they say, "We're gonna keep doin' what we're doin'." And Senator B says the shit's just hunky-dory and could the two dudes expand on how awesome what they're doing is, and they say, "Hell, yeah, we can" as they do. And then back to another Senator A and then another Senator B until someone had to drag Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman off Petraeus's crank. At which point lunch was called.

So, instead, enjoy this photo of President Bush weeping like a little bitch at a Medal of Honor ceremony for dead Navy SEAL Michael Monsoor.

If you need to, you can imagine that he's really crying because he just ran out of Johnny Walker Black or that Monsoor's parents kicked him in the nuts.