Alberto Gonzales: If You're Gonna Be a Toadie, You May As Well Look Like a Toad:
The Mexican burrowing toad can also be found in the United States, or, really, just in Texas. It's survival would be in doubt anywhere else in this country. It's a strange looking toad, this one. It's got no noticeable neck or external ear, and it doesn't have teeth. A stocky little bastard, it can burrow with the best of the animal kingdom, digging into the ground with its hind legs and disappearing, ass first, into the soil, puffing itself up and down, before its covered in dirt. It spends very little time above ground, only coming out in rainy weather to breed. Otherwise, it's just an underground toad, one that the people of southern Texas probably walk over every day.

It's a fairly sociable amphibian, but only, really, with other toads. And when it's threatened, it will "grossly inflate" its body, hoping that the sudden change in size will scare the shit out of predators. If it doesn't, then it may have noxious skin secretions it can ooze out. And if that doesn't work, well, then it's probably time to be a snake's lunch.

In Texas, the species has been given the status of "threatened." The federal government has made no such declaration. But it is considered a fairly popular pet, as far as toads go.

More later.