Pro-War Politicians Have Written a Check Their Asses Can't Cash, Part 3 - Wherein We Witness the Implosion of the Right Wing:
Pro-war conservatives have become the guys with tiny dicks who feel the need to compensate in some other way. You know the type: generally, you will know them by their accessories - the black Hummer, the diamond-studded grill, the big wad of cash. Anything shiny or expensive to take the focus off their shame over their wee peckers. It's a pretty damn strong rule: the bigger the bling, the smaller the cock. If you happen to pick up someone at the bar, well, the truth will be revealed soon enough. (And do not worry, dear small-phallused readers; this is only a condemnation of those who try to hide the truth.)

If the volume and viciousness of attacks by the right over Joe Lieberman's public de-pantsing in Connecticut are any indication, the cock of crazed conservativism is actually withdrawing into its torso.

Sure, sure, fer big laughs, you can look at Sean Hannity grinding his manly jaw in full-bore hysterical mode as Democratic consultant Bob Beckel stares at Hannity like he's watching the Wicked Witch dissolve into a puddle (and the disturbing Kellyanne Conway keeps trying to blow Hannity). Or even Bill O'Reilly's attack on the tens of thousands of Connecticut residents who voted for Ned Lamont (O'Reilly is infinitely more idiotic when he's attempting to sound "rational"). You could waste all kinds of valuable time over at that rhetorical shitcan known as Townhall.com. And you'll get the same bizarro statement: Democrats don't want to fight the "war on terror" because they want to get out of Iraq. Even though the opposite is true: Democrats want to fight the "war on terror" because they want to get out of Iraq.

Of course, they're all, all just toeing the White House line because the loss of Lieberman means that, if Lamont wins, the Bush administration loses one of its opportunities to say it's got "bipartisan" support for its policies. How pathetic does the Republican running for the Senate in Connecticut have to be for Dick Cheney to mourn for Lieberman's loss. Of course, Lieberman's sad slog to insignificance is just an excuse to accuse the Democrats of believing, as Cheney said, "that somehow we can retreat behind our oceans and not be actively engaged in this conflict and be safe here at home." (Again, it needs to be pointed out that oceans didn't really protect the Indians or the colonists or, fuck, Pearl Harbor.)

Beyond Lieberman, there's the near-hysteria by the right over the arrest of the terror suspects in England. Spinning like a spastic third-grader on the playground, President Bush said that the arrests are "a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom." Beyond the completely erroneous use of "fascist," which is going to be part of the new right wing rhetoric so that it elevates Bin Laden even more to Hitler supervillain status, did anyone actually forget that America is "at war"? Did we need a "reminder"?

And right there is the problem that Republicans (and Democratic enablers) have going into the midterm elections. It's the reason that Karl Rove is done for - motherfucker ought to be getting his affairs in order and learning how to tie his own noose. Because, finally, at long last, Republicans have lost the frame. See, it doesn't matter if you lose an argument or if the facts go against you as long as you control the terms of the argument. To go all Lieberman, we could use a sports analogy: call it "the home team advantage." And once you lose the frame, everything you say is now interpreted through the new frame, and that which once worked for you will now be turned against you.

See, the Rove-cultivated Republican playbook is still fear and terror, but it doesn't play anymore because it's been played out. What happened yesterday at America's airports? Sure, there were long-ass delays, aggravations, and more. But any major freak-outs? Nope: everyone just sort of sighed, dumped out their mouthwash, and cursed. And that's because we've gotten used to this. So the reaction of the citizenry now to terror alerts and colorifically raised warning levels is, "Yeah, we know. What else ya got?" People actually took the Bush administration's words to heart: we have gone about our daily lives, just incorporating the "life in the time of terror" adjustment to our routines. Republicans have been framing everything for the last five years based on one big event. It ain't gonna work anymore. The 9/11 justification is gonna be met with comical eye rolls around the country.

So now when Bush or Cheney or whoever keep hammering away with "Democrats don't want to fight terror," it doesn't fucking play. Because, really, in the results column for the Bush administration, what do we have on terrorism? A few pathetic losers rounded up and disappeared. Arguments over what laws we don't need anymore. A great big fuckin' war that nobody fuckin' wants anymore. What? Fuckin' nothing. (And don't fall into the conservative trap of thinking that "Well, sure, they've accomplished shit we haven't even heard about because it's all classified and shit." Do you think that if American authorities made a real, major arrest that Bush would be shy about it?)

Republicans have lost the frame, and they ain't gonna get it back, not now. Because they have nothing else to run on. Ask senior citizens. Ask the unions. Ask the soccer moms. And even ask the NASCAR dads. It's done. It's not going too far out on a limb to think that more people on those security lines at airports were wondering why we're spendin' all that money in Iraq than were thinking, "Thank God fer George Bush keepin' us safe." That's Karl Rove's greatest loss and it's gonna wreck the Republicans in November with all the disproportionate force of a grizzly bear chewin' a bunny.

'Cause, see, the guys with the big dicks, they don't need to show off. Some guy with a giant johnson can ride up to the club in a beat-up old Ford Festiva, saunter over to the bar, order a Budweiser, toss his cock on the counter, and that guy is gonna get all the action he can handle barely sayin' a word.