Mainlining Those Nukes:
Ask any shaky, scabby, snotty addict shitting himself in the corner of a filthy room strewn with cigarette butts and bloody Kleenex and he'll give you the same answer: Marijuana wasn't the gateway, you asshole. It was the legal shit, the sweet esophagal burn of alcohol that led him down this path. 'Cause it was the alcohol that led to the pot, and once you make your first illegal connection, once you're a buyer and not just a party toker, it's not that far a leap to ask what else the dealer's got or to get curious about what the next high is like. Yep, the worst, the path to full-on fiendom, is to get that jones for bigger and better highs. Yeah, ganja's great, but what about 'shrooms? 'Shrooms are nice, but what about ecstasy? Cool shit, man, but how about coke? Aw, fuck, coke's sick, motherfucker, but howzabout some heroin? And the next thing you know, you're cravin' speedballs and you are so, so very fucked.

Yesterday President Bush answered a Nedra Pickler-tickler of a question about "the possibility of a nuclear strike" on Iran, with a not-quite-reassuring "All options are on the table," and you just knew that Bush was hearing the siren call of the bigger and harder high. Yeah, man, blowin' shit up in Afghanistan was fun, but Bush needed more, motherfucker. So a big-ass (but not big-ass enough) invasion of Iraq was awesome, a rush, but that buzz is old news. What the Bush administration is cravin' is the big high: nukin' some shit. You can see it the eyes of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld. The jones, the curiosity, the chance to leave one big motherfuckin' footprint on history.

And we who have entered that room with that dopester, hopin' for that next good rush, we know he's a hopeless case, we know that it's the short slide to doom. We can only hope that stupid fucker ODs before he hurts someone else.

Note: Before there's any goddamn e-mail about it, the Rude Pundit is not saying that everyone who drinks or lights up is on the fast path to crack whore.

Another note: The Rude Pundit is on the road; shorter posts for the next coupla days.