Why Rush Limbaugh Should Be Force-Fed His Own Liposuctioned Fat:
It just gets more and more pathetic, doesn't it? Like every other junkie in the history of law enforcement, Rush Limbaugh is flailing about, looking for anyone to blame, except himself. If he was a horse, he'd've been glue and dog food by now. So now Rush, in a desperate attempt to keep his medical records from being used against him (why? Maybe that agonizing, cancer-like back pain he whines about isn't so bad? Or maybe we'll find out that the reason for said back agony is all the fat pulling against his spine for all those years sitting in that goddamned chair?), is now sending out his lawyers to say that his maid was blackmailing him.

The first logical answer to this charge is "So the fuck what?" How does blackmailing a junkie make the junkie any less a junkie? Let's put it this way: say you are a rich scumbag conservative and your maid finds out you love kiddie porn - man, you can't get enough of the kiddie porn in all its forms, print, Internet, videos. Goddamn, watching pre-pubescents fuck is the only thing that keeps you sane in this horrible workaday world. Now, the maid has two options: one is the honorable thing - turn your hypocritical ass over to the police. And the other is blackmail bleed kiddie porn-watching ass dry. Oh, that this were a world where people did the honorable thing. But, at the end of the day, you still pay for kiddie porn. Paying off the maid is part of doing business in the world of things illegal. Shit, paying off the maid is a small price to pay against having your hatemongering shown for the lies and bullshit and opportunism it truly is.

But it truly is a pathetic sight, seeing Limbaugh calling himself a victim, of pain, of maids, of prosecutors, of the media. All we can do is looking forward to hearing Limbaugh broadcasting from prison as he's being raped repeatedly by some three strikes and you're out felon. ("This is Rush - ow! - Limbaugh - oof! - and you're listening - oh, god! - to the - Christ! - Sodomy in Broadcasting - can I at least get a reach-around? Ow! - network.")