5/16/2019

Anti-Choice Laws Are the Establishment of Religion

The Alabama state constitution makes it pretty fuckin' plain: "We declare...That no religion shall be established by law; that no preference shall be given by law to any religious sect, society, denomination, or mode of worship...and that the civil rights, privileges, and capacities of any citizen shall not be in any manner affected by his religious principles."

Now, of course, you can look at the sexist language there ("his religious principles") and think, "Yeah, of course, they decided that doesn't apply to women." But, really, it's just crystal-fuckin' clear. You can't make policy by religion. Any religion. And you can't deny someone civil rights just because they don't believe in the same invisible sky wizard that you believe in.

Despite its constitution, though, Alabama has passed the most restrictive abortion ban in the country, one that hasn't gone into effect yet and one that is supposed to take a coat hanger to Roe v. Wade and late-term abort it. And, in doing so, the legislators wanted to show just how batshit in love they are with Jeebus and that they can out-nutsy Georgia or Ohio or any pussy-ass state that wants to allow women even an ounce of agency and dignity. "You're havin' that fuckin' rape baby," Alabama said, "or we're lockin' your abortion doctor up for longer than your rapist. That's what God told us to do."

Look, there is no way to separate the anti-choice movement from the evangelical Christian movement. Check out the website of the influential Choose Life Alabama (motto: "Fuck me, Jesus, fuck me with your rod and staff"). There's not a single goddamn word about medical reasons to end abortions. It's all about God and creation and such shit.

Hell, the bill was written by A. Eric Johnston, the head of the Alabama Pro-Life Coalition. He's a fuckin' estate-planning attorney who does some mediation related to business shit. Where's his fucking medical degree that allows him to say that abortion should be banned after two weeks? As he said when it was first introduced, "Our bill is two weeks. When you can prove the woman is pregnant. A man and woman can have sex and you can take her straight into a clinic and determine an egg and sperm came together.” That last sentence is absolute bullshit. Family-planning clinics warn about false negatives when women are tested earlier than at least ten days after sex.

Johnston runs something called the Southeast Law Institute, which has weighed in on or represented clients in a slew of cases that are about fluffing the dicks of evangelical Christians. And that's exactly what this fucking law is about. It's about forcing an entire state and as much of the country as possible to live under the dicta of religious extremists. For extra larfs, Johnston actually helped write an anti-Shariah law amendment to the Alabama constitution. That's right. It's wrong if it's foreign religious law, but it's a-o-fuckin'-kay if it's Jesus running the joint.

When Governor and sex traitor Kay Ivey, wearing the colors of the title character in The Handmaid's Tale, signed the anti-choice bill into law, she issued a statement that put her reasoning into strictly religious terms: "To the bill’s many supporters, this legislation stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God." Apparently, unless you believe in God (and, specifically, a crazed Christian flavor of God), you aren't really an Alabamian.

They're not even trying to hide that this shit is all about religion.  Over at the Jesus-fellating conservative Resurgent, James Silberman calls all fetuses "image bearers of God" and says that all Christians should rally for a total ban on abortion. Lying heap of rotting pumpkins, President Donald Trump, preened and pranced for evangelicals, swearing that he'd lead them to the promised land where only people like him could get abortions for their mistresses. "All children — born and unborn — are made in the holy image of God," he told one gathering, and the closest he gets to the Lord is when he squeals, "Oh, God" as he jacks off to Ivanka's teen photos.

I'm down south right now in Louisiana, where this state's abortion fuckery is heading into its final stretch. One of those odious "heartbeat" bills, which bans abortions after just six weeks, has passed the Senate and is about to be passed in the House. And the twist here is that Democrats are sponsoring and voting for it. Yeah, Sen. John Milkovich, a Democrat from Shreveport, sponsored the bill, saying, "We believe children are a gift from God." Except they're not. They're a by-product of fucking. The Democratic governor, John Bel Edwards, has said he'll sign whatever lands on his desk because that's how the fuck Louisiana rolls.

These radical Christian extremists are using their faith to enslave women, to make them mere vessels for babies that the Christians won't give a dry rat shit about once they're born. It is another of the many ways that conservatives are lashing out against the diminishing power of the straight white man. If they can get it so that women are hindered at every turn by pregnancies they are forced to carry to term, well, they just think that's the Lord's work.

And the scariest fucking part is that we no longer know for sure that the Supreme Court will uphold Roe v. Wade. Sure, some right-wing crazoids think Alabama and Georgia went too far, that it's too radical, that now they'll blow their chance on achieving their decades-old dream of enforced pregnancy. But who really fucking knows at this point, especially with savage dogs like Alito and Thomas on the court.

This shit is gut-wrenching. It's dehumanizing for women and degrading for the nation as a whole. Which is exactly what these putrid Christian fucks want.