Conservatives Do Anything to Avoid Saying They Support Trump Because of Racism

In order to support President Donald Trump, you must be a racist. That is clearly a truth at this point, since Trump continues to do and say extravagantly racist shit. If you are still a Trumpster, it means you're cool with racism. Ergo, you're racist. Do we even need to argue about that anymore? (And if you're a Trump supporter reading this and thinking, "Not me," let me assure you: "Especially you.")

If we take that as a truism, it is also a truism that most of Trump's voters will do anything to avoid saying that it's racism that drives them. They'll come up with bullshit theories about working class anxiety or the desire for a leader who talks like them or whatever. Fuck all that. It's the racism.

The latest example of this self-contortion is in today's New York Times (motto: "One day we'll get those two Trump voters in Kansas to subscribe"). It's an opinion piece by Matthew Schmitz, who is the editor of First Things. Like me, you may have asked yourself, "The fuck is First Things?" And, if you're like me, you google that shit and find out that it proclaims itself, "America's Most Influential Journal of Religion and Public Life," which is not unlike calling your dog, "America's Cutest Little Wuggums That I Ever Snuggled." In other words, it's totally subjective and, really, who the fuck cares?

And what does the "most influenza kernel of rimjobs and pubic lice" have to say about, you know, stuff? Well, let's see here. There's this thing about making the United States a Christian nation, where you can read totally not fucking crazy things like "We hope for an America conformed to the reality that Jesus is Lord." Or the multiple anti-abortion pieces where they are creaming in their Dockers at the idea of overturning Roe. They see their chance now and they are fresh out of fucks: "Now is not the time for compromise or worries about breaking the peace that Roe has brought us." A bit uncivil for a religion journal, no?

So, yeah, that's the provenance of this fuckwit writing, no shit, "Trump's 'Purple' Family Values." Schmitz tells us that people he knows in New York, across the political spectrum, dislike Trump because of his personal behavior, but, amazingly, when he talks to those from his hometown in Nebraska, those cornhuskin' motherfuckers are totes cool with Trump, no matter how many pussies he grabbed. "They glossed over his infidelities and stressed that he seemed to be a good father. They were impressed by his 'respectful' sons and admired the success of his daughters," said the bumpkins that Schmitz grew up among. And then he asks, "What made the difference?" And then he answers his question by saying, "It was racism. Oh, dear Christ, I was appalled to realize that I had lived with such backward-ass cracker motherfuckers and I vowed never to return."

No, of course, he didn't say that. That would require honesty, not mental gymnastics that'd make Simone Biles say, "Fuck that shit." For Schmitz, the difference between Trump-loathing New Yorkers and Trump-loving real Americans is "In a word, class." To which one can only say, "The fuck it is. It's racism, asshole. It's racism because you chose to compare the opinions of people who live in an incredibly diverse area to those who live in a place where they think salt makes food spicy.

Schmitz goes on, because of course he does, to oversimplify and misread the book Red Families v. Blue Families, in the way that only an English major from Princeton can, offering "Red families tend toward conservatism, and blue tend toward progressivism" like he's saying something profound. Leaving out the incredibly relevant fact that the divorce rate is higher in places where there are "red families" (something the authors of the book point out), Schmitz invents the "purple family," which is white working class, black, and/or Hispanic. "In these families, bonds between mothers and children are prized above those between couples," he asserts. "Unstable relationships are the norm, and fathers quickly end up out of the picture." There you go: in an attempt to avoid saying "racism," he's just revealed he's racist. Yeah, he says, "Working-class whites," but he separates them out.

For fucking idiots, "Mr. Trump embodies a real if imperfect model of family values. People familiar with the purple family model tend to view his alienation from his children’s mother as normal and his closeness to his children as exceptional and admirable." Well, the white working class ones might. But the black and Hispanic families sure as shit don't.

How fuckin' delusional do you have to be to see Trump as being "close" to his children, huh? You see any fuckin' photos of him doing anything but business with his kids? They're associates, not kids.  You see him having fun with Barron? Joshing with Jr. and Eric? Spending time with Tiffany? No, this fuckweasel president never shows joy or pride in his kids. The closest he comes to appreciating his children is leering at Ivanka.

Goddamn, Schmitzy, fella, just say it. You'll feel so much better. You like Trump because he sticks it to the darkies and the immigrants, the Mooslims and the spics. Admit that, Trump voters, instead of pretending that you give a happy monkey fuck about a worthless tax cut or North Korea. You have permission to be open about it. Because you know that if he dumped Melania for an 18 year-old Russian piss hooker and then punched Don Jr. in the face in public, you'd still love him because he rubs that racist clit so good that you just scream in orgasm whenever he says that immigrants are all criminals.

And fuck you, New York Times opinion page. How many dirt-eaters and goat-fuckers do you need to publish before you realize that there is no intelligent core to Trumpism? Just get David Duke to write the next one. Cut to the fuckin' chase.