Conservative Pundits: Mike Pence Would Sexually Assault Women If He Was Alone With Them

Let's be crystal fuckin' clear about Harvey Weinstein: Set him on fire in the middle of Hollywood as a lesson to every shit man who tries to coerce women and, yes, men into sex. Set him the fuck on fire and don't let anyone put him out no matter how much he screams and then say to everyone gawking, over his charred, grease-smelling corpse, "Okay, you got the message, you abusive bastards?" Do you have any other ideas? Because, at this point, in the 21st goddamn century, I've run out of ways to get across the seeming common sense notion that you don't fucking treat people the way Weinstein did.

It's simply ludicrous that there's gotta be a reckoning on sexual harassment, assault, and rape every few years. Clarence Thomas's pubic hair, Mike Tyson's rape conviction, and Senator Bob Packwood's groping spree, all from the 1990s, seemed like a turning point. Apparently not so much. Now we've got this rash of powerful media figures who should have been taken down decades ago, with Bill O'Reilly, the rotting corpse of Roger Ailes, and Harvey Weinstein. Fuck all of them.

Of course, conservatives, ignoring the fact that Donald Trump has over a dozen such allegations against him, not to mention a certain tape where he talks about grabbing pussies, have been jubilantly demanding that Democrats condemn Weinstein, who was a big donor to Democratic candidates and causes. Fucking Republicans have to be shamed into returning contributions from white supremacists, but, sure, yeah, attack the Democrats on this.

On the outer edge of completely absurd is a short piece by noted Jesus fellater Erick "Erick" Erickson on his internet journal of tongue-gargling and armpit-huffing, The Resurgent. Erickson talks about how liberals mocked Vice President Mike "Always Looks Like His Hemorrhoids Are Acting Up" Pence for his "rule of not dining alone or taking meetings alone with women." Oh, who's laughing now, libtards? The media "will never run stories about Mike Pence sexually harassing women. They’ll never run stories about women unsure whether Pence was propositioning them" because Pence isn't alone with them. Mother, ironically his wife, is by his side on such occasions.

Erickson is so goddamn sure this is a great statement of honor. "Mike Pence could never be accused of wanting to have sex with someone other than his wife in these sorts of situations," Erickson froths, "because he avoids putting himself and the other person into these situations."

Former Trump whisperer Sebastian Gorka, an evil goatee with a human body attached to it, concurred in a tweet: "THINK: If Weinstein had obeyed @VP Pence's rules for meeting with the opposite sex, none of those poor women would ever have been abused."

Put aside for a second that most every man can be alone with a woman without raping her or even grabbing her breast (it's true!). Just today, I was alone in meetings with three separate women. All somehow escaped unscathed. Crazy, right?

And put aside the implication that somehow the women are to blame for allowing themselves to be alone with Weinstein. (Sorry, Erick and the Prick, that's pretty much what you're saying.)

Instead, without much of a leap, what is being implied here is that Vice President Mike Pence would sexually assault women if he was alone with them. What else could they be saying? It's pretty goddamn clear that Pence considers himself a threat to any woman who is close enough to him that he can sniff their lady scent. He couldn't help himself. All that Christian repression would be tossed out the window. And conservative pundits agree. It's truly best that no woman is ever in a space with only Pence. Consider yourselves warned by, well, Erickson and Gorka.

The thread through all of the GOP responses to Weinstein (beyond those who just said, "This is fucking awful for the women involved") is a desperate attempt to spin attention away from the sexual predator they nominated and got elected president. They want their hands to be clean by making sure everyone else's are dirty, especially Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's.

Harvey Weinstein will disappear. He might even end up in prison. His victims will have to continue to deal with the damage he inflicted on them. Others will likely be brought down with him.

But Trump will still be president. And the Republican Party will still be abetting him and, by extension, his crimes.