Jason Chaffetz Thinks He Can Take Just the Tip of Trump's Dick

Jason Chaffetz, a proud Republican congressman from Utah and a man who looks like a shit-flecked, tossed-out toilet scrub brush, announced proudly on his proud Twitter feed that he was taking a proud stand for America: "I will not defend or endorse @realDonaldTrump, but I am voting for him. HRC is that bad. HRC is bad for the USA." He followed this up by adding, "And I won't suck Mr. Trump's dick entirely, but I will just lick the tip."

Previously, Chaffetz had taken another mighty stand, proudly declaring that Republican presidential nominee and withered kumquat of doom Donald Trump was vile when he talked about pussy-grabbing. Said Chaffetz on CNN just 3 weeks ago, "I'm not going to put my good name and reputation and my family behind Donald Trump when he acts like this, I just can't do it," bemoaning that his 15 year-old daughter might be exposed to such Trumpian vulgarity.

Today, however, he said, "I don't actually have a good name. Seriously, have you seen me in action? I'm just a fucked-up, horrible human being whose only purpose will be to shit all over the presidency of Hillary Clinton and try to stop government from functioning by tying her up in endless bullshit investigations." He added, "My reputation is garbage and I kind of fucking hate my family, so, yeah, I'm gonna just place the tip of Mr. Trump's dick in my mouth. But I promise all of my constituents that I will not fully engorge his cock."

He continued, "Rest assured, people of Utah's 3rd Congressional District, I will lick a bit around Mr. Trump's prick hole, but I am not going to deep throat the entire shaft and grab it and jack it off while I suck and lick. I won't cup Mr. Trump's balls and swallow with a satisfied moan when he spurts hot jism into my face. I have ethics, as you all know. Instead, I will spend every waking moment obsessed with leaked emails, trying to desperately fuck that into a scandal that will nakedly appeal to Trump's voters so I can get more power."

And now enjoy a photo of Rep. Chaffetz gladly standing next to large purple dongs: