Note to GOP Presidential Candidates: Donald Trump Is Drinking Your Milkshake

Every time someone on one of the news networks talks about Donald Trump, the rich Pomeranian/St. Bernard mix running for president, some pundit or other has to say that Trump will flame out or fade away. It depends on whether he says something so outrageous as to alienate any support (which, at this point, would have to be something like "Yes, I fuck ferrets. I fuck ferrets better and more often than Jeb Bush has ever fucked a ferret. Now watch me fuck this ferret." Although, really, it still makes him a better choice than Ted Cruz), or he just peaks at the 15% or so he has now, and as other candidates drop out, their support goes to Jeb Bush.

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of the voters of this country, especially Republicans. Because, you see, the one thing Trump has going for him, more than any other candidate running for the Republican nomination, is that the voters are fucking dumbasses who get most of their information from TV news and Trump is more famous than any other candidate. Put it this way: there are people who paid good money to learn business success from Trump at one of his bullshit seminars, totally ignoring that Trump has declared bankruptcy multiple times. You think anyone gives a happy monkey fuck if Trump is "qualified" to be president? Fuck no. He hosted a TV show. His name is everywhere. He says things that make everyone else angry. He's a blatant racist who claims to love Hispanic people. He's a vulgar monster with voracious sexual appetites who preaches morality in marriage.

And many, many voters simply will overlook that because he's the most goddamned entertaining clown in the circus, the only candidate they know, and his pop culture status has given him the aura of earthy wisdom instead of nonsensical shit-tossing. He's like most of the other candidates rolled into one: a blithering, idiotic, climate change-denying loudmouth xenophobe who wants endless war, Christian "values" (whatever the fuck those are anymore), an economic and health care system that benefits the rich, and a big fuckin' fence with alligators or some such shit to keep out the Mexican rapists. He doesn't need to pander to the baser instincts of the primary voters. He is the living embodiment of the baser instincts of GOP primary voters. That's why he's wiping the floor with virtually every other candidate.

Right now, Trump is leading in the polls in North Carolina. The far right loves him, and if you get the Confederates and the Stormfront crowd, as well as the "Who's-the-guy-from-the-TV-show-I'll-vote-for-him" crowd on your side, you're gonna poll well. That's why he's first or second in most polls, and, sorry, but he ain't going away. Your condemnation only makes him stronger. Your attention only makes his ego grow.

You gotta laugh at the fuckin' GOP elite who have no idea what to do about Trump's surge. These are the fuckers who wanted to convince us that Sarah Palin was a legitimate leader. You're gonna see all the candidates react to him and condemn him and offer to debate him and dismiss him and every other thing they can try. It won't matter. Their scorn will drive more voters to him than send them away. Who do you think the average voter wants to listen to? Scott fuckin' Walker? No, they wanna hear what the crazy guy has to say. It's so fuckin' beautiful, watching Trump suck all the filthy air out of the GOP primary balloon.

He ain't gonna be president. That's Hillary's prize, unless she stumbles mightily. But Trump's gonna make life a fuckin' misery for the GOP, who had better destroy this Godzilla before he eats all of Tokyo and shits it out on RNC headquarters.