Conservatives Criticizing Obama for Not Going to Paris Are Full of Merde

Seriously, all the Republicans pretend angry at Obama for not going to march in France and are pretend supportive of the French in the wake of last week's terrorist attacks, go eat out the assholes of porcupines, you ludicrous fucks. First of all, you don't give a jolly rat shit about France. It's just an occasion to slam Muslims and show that you love Israel so much that even Israel says, "Whoa, back the fuck off. You're smothering me."

And how the fuck does the Rude Pundit know this is just a fuckin' joke, a little bit of political slap and tickle? Because Newt Gingrich had the fuckin' balls to call Barack Obama not going to France "cowardice." And then, in a smarmy little Facebook Q&A, Gingrich said, "France has not always been with us but they were decisively with us after 9/11 and we have been allies a long time. It is no accident that one of the two portraits in the united states house of representatives is a Frenchman, the marquess de Lafayette, the other is President Washington. That is how much we owed the French for helping us win our independence." (Sic all the errors - Gingrich apparently can't tell a Marquis from a Marquess, which explains a lot.)

This would be the same Newt Gingrich who, way back in 2012, in an accordion-scored ad titled, "The French Connection," found the link between Mitt Romney and John Kerry: Motherfuckers both speak French, like little bitches:

The Republicans drove John Kerry insane, an insanity that lasts to this day, with all the insinuations and accusations about his manhood and France or about his liberalism and eeevil French socialism. Or maybe that he's a snooty stereotype of a waiter or a cartoon skunk or something. Honestly, the Rude Pundit could never figure out why one would hate someone for having a connection to France once we got past the whole "Freedom Fries" bullshit just because France said, correctly, "Um, yeah, your Iraq War is fucking dumb." It was just a piece with the Great Stupiding of Our Nation at the hands of idiot Republicans and cowardly Democrats.

If Obama had gone to Paris, all the right-wing media would have talked about would have been if he had "disgraced" the nation by talking to the Palestinian president or by not rubbing Bibi's balls enough. Fox "news" dimwits and bullshit artists would have torn apart how he stood, who he stood next to, whose hands he shook, whether he gave too much love to Muslims, whether he did or didn't say anything about the murdered Jews, whether his clothes were proper enough, and it would have ended with them attacking him for going.

It was a fucking trap, either way, because the compulsive masturbators of the right would have been jacking it in one direction or another.

The other thing that's galling about this whole "debate"? It makes the tragedy there about us and our own derangement, like a bunch of selfish assholes.

(Note: Obama should have sent Biden, though. Just sayin'.)