Shut the Fuck Up Already, Ben Carson (Or How Carson and Eric Garner Are Not That Different)

Dr. Ben Carson, Fox "news" designated black man this election cycle, was probably a fine, fine neurosurgeon back when he was practicing. Hell, he might even be a great motivational speaker in the Joel Osteen/Tony Robbins "is he for real or is he punking us?" model. Cuba Gooding, Jr. played him in a movie, which is just super. But now that he is apparently amping up his presence on the national stage ahead of a potential presidential run that will do nothing but enlarge the coffers of Carsonco, it's probably beyond time for people to tell him to just shut the fuck up already. Stop fucking lecturing us in your smug, self-righteous way and go the fuck away, back into the prayer breakfast cubbyhole where you belong, paraded around by every white racist to demonstrate that they have black friends.

Yesterday, in a totally poorly-timed appearance, Carson was on CNN's Wolf, which does not involve various people having their throats ripped out by a raging, carnivorous animal, but is, actually, hosted by the bestubbled Wolf Blitzer. It was just before the announcement of the grand jury decision not to indict the cop who killed Eric Garner in Staten Island, and Blitzer was asking Carson about some stupid fucking thing that Charles Barkley said because apparently ex-basketball players and ex-surgeons are automatically criminal justice experts.

Carson said, "Well, I think it's true that the police are our friends. And I challenge people all the time, imagine living for 24 hours with no police. People would be walking into your house saying, hey, I think I like that television, I'm taking that. I mean, it would be total chaos." No, really, he actually said that and acted like he made some kind of profound point, like a toddler proud of hitting the toilet when he pisses standing up. Is that really the choice? Irresponsible violence by cops or complete anarchy from having no cops? There's no in-between?

Chaos is something Carson fears a fuck of a lot. "[W]e have to, at some point, get to a point where we actually trust the system or we're just going to have chaos all the time," he told Blitzer after explaining how he trusts "the people who have all the facts." Later, talking about how the country has become more racist under Barack Obama, who just doesn't respect the rule of law, Carson explained, "Once we lose the rule of law and chaos ensues, you know, that is not going to be the kind of country that any of us wants to live in." Seriously, this guy's opinions are so simple-minded that it's no wonder Fox loves him. Oh, and he thinks that Obama was wrong to talk out about Trayvon Martin because he should have trusted how things would play out in the justice system, which worked so awesomely then.

Blitzer should have answered each and every one of these statements with "Oh, fuck you. Shut the fuck up. Why are you still fucking talking? Who the fuck is listening to you? Fuck them, too."

Instead, Blitzer got to something real. He asked Carson about remarks he made where he compared the United States now to Nazi Germany because "you had a government using its tools to intimidate the population. We now live in a society where people are afraid to say what they actually believe. And it's because of the p.c. police. It's because of politicians." So not being able to say "faggot" in public freely is as bad as rounding up and killing all the gays in Germany. Got it.

Using his own version of "Shut the fuck up" (and getting freakily jingoistic), Blitzer said, "So you've got to explain that, because when I heard the comparison of the United States of America, the greatest country in the world, the greatest country ever, to Nazi Germany, I said, 'What is he talking about?'"

Then, in an answer that should be the epitaph to whatever political ambitions he might have, Carson replied, "Well, see, what you were doing is allowing words to affect you more than listening to what was actually being said."

Now, you might actually perk up at that moment and wonder, "The fuck? You said the fucking words. We're not making this shit up."

Well, Carson will explain: "Nazi Germany experienced something horrible. The people in Nazi Germany largely did not believe in what Hitler was doing. But did they say anything? Of course. They kept their mouths shut. And there are some very important lessons to be learned there." And then, shit you not, Carson's example of what horrible things are going on now is that the IRS slightly delayed the approval of tax-exempt status for a few Tea Party groups.

Finally, we get to Carson's game. See, when it comes to Michael Brown and, one presumes, Eric Garner, unarmed men being murdered, Carson believes we need to knuckle under to the force of the law. But when it comes to things like being "free to express yourself" without consequence, well, the government is just jack-booted thugs. Except don't focus on his words: "[Y]ou are just focusing on the words Nazi Germany and completely missing the point of what is being said. And that's the problem right now. That's what p.c.-ism is all about. You may not say this word, regardless of what your point is, because if you say that word, you know, I go into a tizzy. We can do better than that."

At that point, Blitzer should have said, "I'm going to call you 'Uncle Tom' for the rest of this interview and I hope you don't focus on the words."

In the actual interview, Blitzer asked Carson if he stood by his saying that Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery, which, of course, Carson did: "[W]hat needs to be understood here is that the way this country was set up, the people -- we the people were set up at the pinnacle of power in this nation. The government is supposed to conform to our will. By taking the most important thing you have, your health and your health care, and turning that over to the government, you fundamentally shift the power, a huge chunk of it, from the people to the government. This is not the direction that we want to go in this nation."

Is Carson really that blind? Does he not understand that the only difference between him and Eric Garner is who they stand with on the corner and how they're dressed? Eric Garner didn't want to give in to authority. Carson claims that he doesn't want government taking away the power of the people. Garner only had his corner to express his opinion that he was being mistreated by the law, which got him killed because the authority had to assert its power and could do so freely. Carson gets to go on national TV and say, essentially, the same thing without fear because he is protected by his conservative enablers and his own wealth. Put him in a t-shirt and shorts, surrounded by cops, and see who listens.

Blitzer then asked another variation on "Shut the fuck up." He pressed Carson, "[Y]ou say that Obamacare is the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. Worse than the Great Depression of the 1920s? Worse than the Vietnam War? Worse than 9/11?"

Of course, Carson had not a goddamn thing to say other than "Well, Wolf, I think it's non-productive to get into is it worse than this and worse than that, or maybe it's better than this and better than that."

Scratch what was said above. Yeah, he's the perfect Republican candidate.