Democrats Are Totally Making Money Off Impeachment Talk and It's Awesome

Speaker of the House John "If You Don't Think I'm Drunk All the Time, You're Not Paying Attention" Boehner had one of his outrageous outbursts of outrage yesterday, one of those spasms of anger that must make playing golf with him like having lunch at the Home for Abusive Husbands. He insisted, goddamnit, "This whole talk about impeachment is coming from the president’s own staff and coming from Democrats on Capitol Hill.  Why? Because they're trying to rally their people to give money and to show up in this year's election...We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans."

And he's totally right, except for the parts where he's wrong, like the fact that impeachment talk has been floating among the House teabaggers for months, if not years.

But, fuck, yeah, Democrats are using that shit to raise money. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has unleashed a stalker-like string of emails to supporters, each one more desperate and hysterical than the last, attempting to squeeze your wallets dry.

From "Nancy Pelosi": "If Boehner has his way, we might as well kiss all hope goodbye for the remainder of President Obama’s term." Today, "Nancy" scared us with "Boehner is clearly trying to get his chance to drag the President's good name through the mud."

From "Paul Begala": "This is no laughing matter. These are the same Tea Party Republicans that managed to shut down the government last year. They’re going to keep coming up with new ways to sabotage Barack Obama’s presidency. And for these guys, impeachment would be the pinnacle of Republican sabotage." The email was subject-lined "I'm Pleading" for extra pathetic effect.

There's a gentler note from "Michelle Obama," a leaderly one from "Barack Obama," and "Joe Biden" threatening to skullfuck you if you don't give money. 

And then this one, which reminds us that "Biden" and the "Obamas" emailed us because "They need your help because it's a critical moment" that might "lead to Barack Obama's impeachment."

So, yeah, the DCCC is fluffing the threat of impeachment like a merry gay porn set intern working the prick of a nervous leading man. And, yep,the chance of actual impeachment is somewhere between alien invasion and Nobel Prize-winning Kardashian. 

But you know what? It's still more in the realm of reality than what the GOP has been raising shit-tons of cash on. Has Obamacare straight-up murdered anyone? Have hordes of immigrants and Hottentots come streaming over the border to give us Ebola and decapitate our cops? No, but the Republican Party has made mucho coin off these lies and many more.

So it's awesome that the Democrats have found a scary, realistic-sounding hyperbole to raise cash on. It would be just beyond words for Republicans to have their asses handed to them because of fearmongering on our side.