Sens. McCain and Graham Say Exactly What You Think They'd Say on Iraq

Even before President Obama spoke today and gave us, at best, an El Salvador scenario, at worst, Vietnam, America's most constipated leprechaun, Sen. John McCain, and the laciest belle at the cotillion, Sen. Lindsey Graham, spoke out about taking action to help Iraq. On the Senate floor, the manboob buddies attacked the Obama administration for allowing Iraq, which the United States definitely transformed into a paradise of sweet hookahs, ripe dates, and wet pussy, to become the raging hellhole of sectarian violence it is now.

McCain said the problem was that Obama didn't want to leave 16,000 troops behind. No, really: "[T]he size of a potential U.S. force presence kept ‘cascading’ down from upwards of 16,000 to an eventual low of less than 3,000."  For McCain, the ideal number of American soldiers to leave in Iraq was 10-15,000, and pretty much just make sure there's that many troops there forever. In one of the most blindly optimistic statements or outright delusions, McCain said, "[A] residual U.S. troop presence could have assisted Iraqi forces in their continued fight against al Qaeda. It could have provided a platform for greater diplomatic engagement and intelligence cooperation with our Iraqi partners."

Or maybe they'd've just had giant red, white, and blue targets painted on them, huh?

Today, McCain went even further down the yellow brick road of war: "[N]o one that I know wants to send combat troops on the ground, but airstrikes are an important factor, psychologically and many other ways, and that may require some forward air controllers and some special forces." Indeed, nothing could benefit the United States more than taking a side in the Sunni/Shi'ite conflict. It wouldn't piss off the other side at all. Oh, and we'll have to bomb Syria, too, and no way, no how would that be misinterpreted either.

Like conjoined twins who share a colon, McCain is joining with Graham in shitting out the same turds. The senator from South Carolina said yesterday that "American air power is part of diplomacy. That may sound counterintuitive, but it makes perfect sense to me," which is not unlike saying that drinking gin and tonics after sunset makes sense to him. Lord knows it's supposed to be a daylight cocktail, but don't tell him he can't sip one into the night.

Graham continued, "Diplomacy cannot succeed unless you change the momentum on the battlefield. But when you drop a bomb, you need to have a game plan beyond the bomb falling, and that would be a regional conversation." So let's see if we understand this: we drop some bombs and then say, 'Ya'll handle this now.'" Isn't that exactly what the fuck we just did?

In other words, all we have is babbling nonsense from McCain, Graham, and, yes, Obama on the impossibility of doing anything good in a terrible situation of our own creation. Iraq is a nude Frankenstein's monster, running around with its detachable dong feeling the breeze. You're not gonna get him to put on some pants now.