Rush Limbaugh Shows That Obama Hates America by Hating America Himself:
Heaving, wheezing pustule Rush Limbaugh knew that he needed to get himself good and primed for his rantings yesterday. Sweating after downing a Quizno's steak sandwich with horseradish/oxycontin spread on it, he could feel the lethargy setting in as he read over his notes for the next segment. Oh, this would be a good one, one that the slavering shut-ins, elderly, and truckers that comprise his audience would be repeating over and over to their friends and relatives, something that'd make the heads of those faggots over at Media Matters explode. Yeah, he could work himself into a hard-on, but that was too much work these days and it just exhausted him. Instead, he went with his most extreme plan, one that he saves for special occasions, when he knows that his energy must match the crazed rantings he was about to impart to the ether. He dropped his pants, reached under his gut, felt around for a moment or two, and then his meaty hoof grasped his tiny nutsack. He leaned back and maneuvered so that the peanut-sized scrotum was, more or less, resting on the table in front of him. "Are we about to come out of break?" he asked into the microphone to the giggling producer, who loves it when Limbaugh lays out his testicles, while the weary engineer sighed and nodded. As the music began, Limbaugh picked up the keyboard of the computer in front of him and slammed it down repeatedly on his balls. Screeching in pain, he did it until he could feel he was about to vomit then fell back into his chair and went live, ready to destroy anything in his path.
Yeah, Limbaugh was in rare form yesterday. You should listen to his much-played clip where he said, really, that Barack Obama "hates this country." That's also the title of the segment on his website, so, no, there's no hedging or lack of context going on here. Why does the President hate the country he leads? Because he thinks that when the government builds roads and stuff, it helps people. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Limbaugh played the bit of Elizabeth Warren saying, "There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own." Then he followed it with the actually out-of-context quote from a speech Obama gave last week in Virginia. Here it is in its entirety:
"[L]ook, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Let me tell you something -- there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there.
"If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business -- you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn’t get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet."
Bizarrely, confusingly, Limbaugh added, "Yeah, well, you know who really invented the Internet? It was the military. It was a DOD project, and Obama hates that." A sane, thinking person might wonder, "Umm, then why would Obama mention it as a government accomplishment if he hates it?" But then you would not be in Limbaugh's demographic.
For Limbaugh, and for Fox "news" and other right-wing spooge-buckets, this is pretty much a call to socialist arms.
Except, of course, for what the President said after the soundbite ends on all of these shows. The very next thing he says is, "The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together. There are some things, just like fighting fires, we don’t do on our own. I mean, imagine if everybody had their own fire service. That would be a hard way to organize fighting fires.
"So we say to ourselves, ever since the founding of this country, you know what, there are some things we do better together. That’s how we funded the GI Bill. That’s how we created the middle class. That’s how we built the Golden Gate Bridge or the Hoover Dam. That’s how we invented the Internet. That’s how we sent a man to the moon. We rise or fall together as one nation and as one people, and that’s the reason I’m running for President -- because I still believe in that idea. You’re not on your own, we’re in this together."
Man, he must really hate that the Defense Department invented the internet to mention it so much. You know what the context for this was? Was it a Marxist takeover of the homes of the wealthy and their property divided among the poorest in each town? Was it the Ayers/Dohrn reeducation of Limbaugh listeners and Fox "news" viewers, most of whom would have to be taken out on forklifts through holes cut in their walls? Was it a radical diet program that would limit the number of Dorito Tacos one can eat in one sitting?
No. It was a call to raise the marginal tax rate on the wealthy by 4%.
Now, we liberals, we might say that calling for a slight increase in taxes for the richest 2% of Americans "socialism" and "America hating," or, as Limbaugh put it, an idea coming from "A radical ideologue, a ruthless politician who despises the country and the way it was founded and the way in which it became great," is "fucking insane."
But what do we know? See, the other part of Limbaugh's rant was a psychoanalysis of liberals. You want to hear a man talk to a mirror and pretend it's someone else? Check this out - it's about as epically, awesomely delusional as Limbaugh gets:
"If you're an average liberal, you're sitting out there knowing that your life doesn't matter. If you're an average liberal, you're in desperate, vain search for meaning in your life because you know you don't have any. And everybody wants their lives to matter. Why are liberals so susceptible to running around and buying cheap little cars they think can 'save the planet'? 'Cause liberals come to 'em and say, 'You know what? You've destroyed the planet, but you can redeem yourself. You can save the planet!'
"Well, if you're sitting out there and you want your life to matter and it doesn't, and somebody comes along and tells you, 'You can save the planet; all you gotta do is drive a Prius,' well, there you are in the showroom in five minutes trying to make a deal 'cause you want to matter. Everybody wants to matter. So here come Obama, here comes Elizabeth Warren, and they try to tell you, 'Yeah, you know all you people sitting around in your underwear watching television all day? You actually made this happen!'"
And then he spit toothpaste into his face in the mirror.
Where do you wanna start? That you have to put on pants to go to the Toyota dealership? That a Prius ain't cheap and that one reason to buy it is to save money on gas?
Nah, that engages in an argument with a hippo, who will just look at you and then either charge or go on standing in muddy water, chomping roots. Instead, let's go with this: the desperation of conservatives at this point to defeat Barack Obama is reaching a fever pitch and they know they're not gonna do it with Romney. So instead, it's time to inflict as much damage as possible, to sink the ship because they don't like the captain. And why not, since they've already bribed the officers for a seat on the lifeboat.
Now, the Rude Pundit's pretty sure that doesn't fall into the "love your country" category.
(Update: In the "Wow, That Didn't Take Long" Department: Now the Romney campaign is saying that Obama needs to "learn how to be an American." Torpedoes away.)