When Is Michele Bachmann Not on a Witch Hunt?:
So when the dynamic duo of Republican fucktardery, Representatives Michele Bachmann and Louis Gohmert, work together on an issue, they create a deep and powerful void of ignorance, a black hole where imbecilic thought is actually dangerous. Gohmert and four other paranoid, delusional nincompoops signed onto Bachmann's letter calling for an investigation of State Department employee and Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, among others, to see if the Legion of Evil (aka "the Muslim Brotherhood," who are worse than Hitler and Bill Ayers combined) had infiltrated the highest high ranks of our blessed government. It's the kind of McCarthy-esque witch hunt that made the tortured ghost of Joseph McCarthy look up from his daily regimen of spiked demon cock anal violations in Hell and nod appreciatively before saying, "Okay, tear up my rectum again, fellas."

What the fuck is it with Bachmann? She has spent her career blaming someone else for what she perceives as the failings of society. What would make her think that Muslims are secretly shitting shariah all over our beautiful democratic carpet? That we haven't invaded Iran yet? That Barack Obama is president?

But, hell, just go back a couple of years, and you've got Bachmann in 2008 calling for the media to "take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?" See, the problem wasn't secret Muslims, per se, back then. It was socialists who might want to "change" America.

And then go back to 2005. When Bachmann was a state representative, she co-sponsored legislation to codify the odious David Horowitz's odious Academic Bill of Rights, which meant to silence liberal college professors from expressing their liberal beliefs because those filthy liberals were turning their students into filthy liberals. Or some such shit. It failed, as Bachmann always does when she starts listening to the voices in her head.

There's always somebody out there who is fucking things up for Bachmann. Liberal educators, socialist members of Congress, Muslims, all the stealth anti-American Americans who simply won't let Bachmann's view of America come to its fullest fruition. Perhaps the good idiots of Bachmann's district, who keep sending her back to Congress, ought to consider that their representative is the one who has America wrong.