6/19/2012

In Brief: Scott Brown Is Kind of a Pussy:
(Note: Where the hell did this day go?)
So noted naked man and recent moderate Massachusetts Republican Senator Scott Brown had agreed to debate professional ass-kicker and totally not-much Cherokee Democrat Elizabeth Warren at the Edward Kennedy Institute of the United States Senate. The candidates had been invited by Vicki Kennedy, widow of the man himself.

Except he had a couple of conditions because Scott Brown is a pussy with a pick-up. First, Ms. Kennedy could not endorse any candidate in the race because the institute is supposed to be nonpartisan and if a Kennedy does the unexpected and endorses a Democrat, it's totally not fair.

Oh, and Brown said, "[W]hile we accept Tom Brokaw as a moderator, we prefer debates with local media sponsors, not out-of-state cable networks with a reputation for political advocacy." Or, in other words, "Fuck MSNBC," which was supposed to host the debate. Because Roger Ailes always stayed out of the races whose debates his network sponsors.

Kennedy responded with a well-mannered version of "Suck on my freedom of speech, asshole," saying that she wouldn't remain neutral, and Brown told the institute that he's out. In bitch speak, his campaign said, "[W]e regret that we cannot accept a debate invitation from someone who plans to endorse Scott Brown’s opponent."

Or, truly, Scott Brown is just a pussy who was looking for an excuse to not have his face used as a mop by Elizabeth Warren.