In Brief: Five Ways Broccoli Is Not Like Health Insurance:
In honor Justices Antonin Scalia and John Roberts for reducing the debate over whether or not Americans must buy health insurance to a question of whether or not the government can force Americans to buy a vegetable. It's good to know the conservative Supreme Court justices get the rhetoric memos from Frank Luntz. But just in case they're not sure how broccoli and health insurance differ, here's some tips:
1. Broccoli is a nutritious vegetable. Health insurance is a guarantee that medical care will be paid for by the individuals receiving it through their insurance companies and not by you and all of us.
2. Broccoli is delicious in American Chinese food. Health insurance allows people to get preventive care so that they do not just end up in emergency rooms when their medical conditions get too awful to tolerate.
3. Broccoli is grown in California and has a shelf life of 3-5 days. People with health insurance generally live longer than people without health insurance.
4. If overcooked, broccoli gets unpalatable and mushy, and it loses its nutritional value. Health insurance will also pay for prescription drugs that people need in order to stay, you know, healthy.
5. The best, easiest broccoli recipe: Hot pan, olive oil, garlic. Toast garlic. Toss in broccoli florets, salt, and pepper. Saute'. Add a bit of water. Cover pan. Let steam for a couple of minutes. Open. Let water boil away. Add butter. Toss. Serve. Health insurance pays for tests in order to detect diseases early so that you don't die, no matter how much broccoli you eat.