Fun With Christine O'Donnell (in Three Parts):
Hey, GOP, have a blast with Tea Partying non-fucking primary winner Christine O'Donnell, who is basically William Donohue in a skirt (she's one hardcore . It's kind of nice that the Republicans just teabagged themselves out of any chance of winning back the Senate. You've heard about O'Donnell's stance against self-fingering. But there's so very much more.

1. Stupid Shit She's Said in the Last Few Years

Fun conversation with Bill O'Reilly on Fox "news," regarding a Catholic bishop refining the definitions of the seven deadly sins on March 28, 2008:
O'REILLY: But if you hurt somebody by pollution, if you're a big corporation, you're dumping chemicals in the water, you're going to hell.

O'DONNELL: Again, that's greed.

O'REILLY: You're going to hell.

O'DONNELL: Absolutely.

(Note: This is not necessarily a bad way to threaten polluters.)

Fun quote while talking to John Kasich, guest hosting for O'Reilly, about a California survey showing that a vast majority of people want real sex education, including condom distribution at schools, on January 6, 2006:
"[E]ven if the population is increasing, so what? So what? People aren't bad. When did humans become a bad thing?"

Fun quotes about HBO series while on Hardball on June 20, 2003:
"[T]he thing that attracts people to The Sopranos is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing." She added, regarding Sex and the City, "It's not taking into the account the physical destruction of going from one man to the other, spreading disease, spreading AIDS. It doesn't take into account your emotions."

Fun quote from Savage Nation, an ancient series starring an insane man that was actually on MSNBC once upon a time, from May 24, 2003: O'Donnell's description of the Supreme Court: "It's kind of like we have the nine people sitting there in Washington who have a constitutional monarchy." (Note: the Rude Pundit loves that one for its sheer, unabashed dumbfuckery.)

Going back a bit:
Fun quote from CNN on March 30, 1996: "[C]reationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the Earth in six days, six 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that [than evolution]."

2. "I'm a young woman in my '30s and I remain chaste." - From MSNBC's Scarborough Country, November 13, 2003. O'Donnell was 34. She is now 41 and unmarried. Because of her strict views on abstinence, she is either a virgin who has never even masturbated or a liar. Or perhaps, last night, after her victory over the man she projected gayness onto, she leaned forward against the center of the lectern where she gave her victory speech. Perhaps in the wood there she could feel, just lightly on her edges of her tightly covered pussy, the vibrations of the sound of applause from the crowd. Perhaps, her body acting without her even realizing it, she moved ever so slightly so that her clitoris was now pushed against the lectern, and, perhaps, the roar of her supporters made it shake just enough to alert her long-dormant desire, her subconscious need, and her clit became engorged with blood, which only heightened her sensitivity. Perhaps this confused O'Donnell's nerve endings, unaccustomed to an application of such delicacy, and perhaps she pushed even more against the lectern, almost as if her labia were drawing her toward the vibrations, the flute-playing swami to her cobra, making her subtly hump it. Perhaps, and only maybe, she felt flush, wondering what this sensation was, that victory combined with adoration was making her feel all a-tingle. Perhaps she came, quietly and just once, climaxing with the end of her speech. Perhaps she wondered what it meant. Perhaps she took it as a sign from God that it's okay to touch herself. Or, more likely, perhaps she wondered who let the devil into the Dover Elks Lodge.

3. For anyone who wonders if O'Donnell can pull out an upset, let's put her numbers in context:
Number of registered voters in Delaware: 621,746
Number of registered Republicans: 182,796 (29%)
Number of votes O'Donnell received: 30,561
By the Rude Pundit's awesome abilities with a calculator, that means she received: 16.7% of registered Republicans.
Number of registered Democrats: 292,738 (47%)

Or, in other words, Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, and the Tea Party can go fuck themselves.