Cal Thomas: "I'm a Goddamn Idiot Who Can't Read" Or Words to That Effect:
Every once in a while, it's fun to see what stupid shit Cal Thomas, who shaved off his Tom of Finland moustache, is spouting. And today's platter is especially stupid. He goes after Hillary Clinton for a speech at a technical school that Thomas says was a call to socialism. He quotes Clinton, "I believe our government can once again work for all Americans. It can promote the great American tradition of opportunity for all and special privileges for none."

For Thomas, blustering like Diamond Jim Brady demanding bacon-wrapped pie back in the Gilded Age, Clinton may as well have been issuing a call for revolution: "Doesn't such a society already exist elsewhere? It's called socialism, where government has sought to make all things economically equal and the only equality is that all are equally poor." Now, the Rude Pundit always thought that the essence of socialism was that workers had greater control over the economy, but look at what Thomas is implying: if you take "special privileges" away from the wealthy, that's "socialism." Now that's how you dumb down an ideology, but, then again, conservatives can't wrap their heads around the notion that just because gays and lesbians want, say, the right to marry, that it ain't asking for "special protection."

The whole "column" (if by "column," you mean "the scribblings of a man so repressed that he wears Depends because he keeps dribbling semen") is filled with such brain-dead inanity. It's like Thomas just had to disagree with Clinton, so he's gonna find him some shit to disagree with.

Thomas represents big-time for the right. Clinton gave a remarkably wonky and insightful speech where she merely said that the current economic playing field is not only massively unequal, but that government and corporate America work to keep it unequal - it was really a call back to genuine capitalism. Thomas sees that as a threat to himself and others. And he calls it "class warfare."

Which is always fuckin' funny when a right-winger says that because usually it's followed by an attack on poor people. And Thomas does not disappoint: "I am not robbed by people who have more money than me. I am robbed by a government that wants to penalize my industry and give increasing portions of what I earn to people who do not emulate my principles, morals and ethics."

And thus, class warfare put to rest, Thomas can lay down his pen and think, ever so thoughtfully, about how much better he is than the rabble, his unfulfilled testicles aching inside his diaper.