Mitt Romney Should Creep Us All Out:
Everything about Republican Presidential candidate, former governor, former moderate, ersatz savage conservative is seriously creepy. The Rude Pundit is talking about Romney in his current form, Robo-Romney, whose Frankenstein's monster-like hair doesn't move, whose jaw is square, whose soul-cringing answers at debates and interviews ought to induce torch-carrying mobs to corner him in order to purge their village of such inhuman taint.

And when the Rude Pundit says, "Everything," he fuckin' means "everything." The crazy part is how open Romney is about his creepiness, as if it's an asset, which, looking at the increasingly creepy Republican field, it may well be.

Check out his speech about how much he friggin' loveslovesloves his wife, Ann. In the course of it, Romney freely talks about throwing rocks at her and her horse when he was a child, about dating her at 16, about a first date seeing The Sound of Music (which ought to disqualify him not just from being President, but from ever getting laid in his life), about his stalker-like attitude towards her: "I didn't want to be anywhere else but with Ann. I wanted to be with her all the time and couldn't imagine being anywhere else besides being with her." Charming. Then he says how he lied to his parents about flying home from Stanford on weekends to "date" Ann, gleefully stating, "I didn't tell my parents - they're both gone now, and I can make that public." Oh, ho, ho, ho, pulled the wool over those corpses' eyes.

There's his endless love of violence, of killing and punishing, harshly, those he views as enemies. Huh. Savagery and Mormonism seems to go together like, say, savagery and Mormonism. And the Rude Pundit's not just talkin' out of his hat here. At the debate this week in South Carolina, Romney went further even than the mad Rudy Giuliani (still trying to make up for all that time in drag), lovin' him some Gitmo for detainees: "I'm glad they're at Guantanamo. I don't want them on our soil. I want them on Guantanamo, where they don't get the access to lawyers they get when they're on our soil. I don't want them in our prisons. I want them there." In fact, as has been widely reported, Romney said, "Some people have said, we ought to close Guantanamo. My view is, we ought to double Guantanamo." Adding that Gitmo oughta be waterboard-palooza: "And enhanced interrogation techniques have to be used -- not torture but enhanced interrogation techniques, yes."

This is not to mention his view of the Middle East as a bunch of homogeneous Arabs who wanna fuck with American shit: "There is a global jihadist effort. Violent, radical jihadists want to replace all the governments of the moderate Islamic states, replace them with a caliphate. And to do that, they also want to bring down the West, in particular us. And they've come together as Shi'a and Sunni and Hezbollah and Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood and al Qaeda with that intent." It's sorta like that old Batman movie, when all the villains gathered in a submarine to do their dastardliest. Fuck, let's send Romney over there in tights and a cape to kick some ass. One of his five sons can be the Boy Wonder.

Creepy motherfucker's gonna keep veering rightward and backwards until he heads off the edge of a flat earth.