Iraqi Parliament and Cheney: What a Bunch of Dicks:
Damn, we allowed a bunch of dicks to be elected to the Iraqi parliament. Getting ready to take a two-month goddamn vacation this summer, the Speaker of the Parliament Mahmoud al-Mashhadani said that the United States can go fuck itself if it wants to prevent the MPs from taking a break in trying to cobble together a friggin' country so they can melt in the Baghdad summer sun and watch the bombs go off. Said al-Mashhadani of criticism of the break, "I think this attitude is crude and unacceptable," although apparently it's sophisticated and acceptable to do nothing while Americans get killed for your shitty, savage nation. If this wasn't about blood and bone and brain and viscera, it'd be funny.

Especially since here's what President Bush said about al-Mashhadani almost a year ago: "Iraq's new government has another able leader in Speaker Mashhadani. He'll preside over Iraq's new Council of Representatives. The Speaker is a Sunni who originally opposed America's presence in Iraq. He rejects the use of violence for political ends. And by agreeing to serve in a prominent role in this new unity government, he's demonstrating leadership and courage. It was said to me that he wouldn't have taken my phone call a year ago. He's now taken it twice. (Applause.) He says Iraq's new leaders must govern by common vision. This common vision is critical to the new government's success." The Rude Pundit loves that applause on the fact that the dude took the Prez's phone call. Otherwise, he'd've had to send a text message, LOL. Oh, there's a picture of Bush on the phone with al-Mashhadani. In it, the President puts on his thinking face. Bush was at Rancho Mirage in California then, so, you know, maybe the idea of vacationing while shit burns around you is something we've imported with democracy.

Now (and this is fuckin' hilarious) Dick Cheney's gotta go beg him not to go on holiday. And, perhaps inspired by Cheney, al-Mashhadani showed how much of a dick he could by dissing the Democrats, too: "You had better try and control Nancy Pelosi rather than Mahmoud al-Mashhadani." It's always creepy when a dude refers to himself in the third person, but the Rude Pundit's especially fond of that oh-so-ironic Arab sense of gender equality.

One imagines that Cheney's discussion with the Speaker is going to involve nut vices, nipple clamps, and naked hooding. It'll be interesting to see what he uses on al-Mashhadani.