Another Execution by Death Squad in Minneapolis

As I said nearly a year ago, it's clarifying when you decide that those who are doing harm are simply evil. You stop looking for explanations for their terrible violence or goals for their open criminality and you accept that sometimes people are just evil and should be treated like they're evil. We are one year into the second administration of Donald Trump, and we are reaping the whirlwind of the evil he and his monstrous enablers commit. It is killing this country in ways big and small, one of those cancers that metastasized so quickly that you realize it's gone from your skin to your bones before you ever even identified the disease. 

This weekend in Minneapolis, we saw the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end of the Trump administration's barbaric war against immigrants and anyone who opposes the war against immigrants. On Friday, the general strike that had been called in Minnesota as a response to the murder of Renee Good was a huge success, with thousands marching in the -20 temperatures and hundreds of businesses, schools, and offices closing in support. On Saturday, the morning murder of Alex Pretti by Border Patrol agents (who have no reason at all nor the legal authority to even be in Minneapolis, which isn't within 100 miles of a border) was such a brazen act of criminality that it shook even those not previously shaken by Good's killing (which was equally brazen but motherfuckers who have drunk the MAGA chowder deeply couldn't get their heads around it and decided that they couldn't see what all of us with eyes could). 

The videos of Pretti's killing, shot as many as ten times while on his knees and then on his back, left no room at all through which you could squeeze your ideological blinders. It was clear that the gun Pretti legally was carrying was taken from him before the shooting and that he had never had it in his hand to threaten the BP officers who had shoved a woman to the ground and pepper-sprayed her and Pretti. It doesn't help the disinformation campaign in full swing now that Pretti was an ICU nurse at a VA hospital, beloved by his co-workers and patients. Every single video analysis shows that he was filming ICE and BP actions as a legal observer (as all observers are), not interfering in any way, and the porcine chodes in their douche vests and punk ass masks decided to fuck with him and the woman near him. The chodes surround him and beat him as he tries to cover up from the blows and then one of the chodes pistol whips him after another chode takes his gun. Every single video analysis shows the gun being taken. Every single video shows he was not a threat. Every single video shows he was fucking executed like it was a mob hit, just like Renee Good. The Border Patrol and ICE are a bunch of gutless thugs who want to murder some libs and don't have the balls to try without a uniform on. 

And yet...the simpering, smarmy fuck stains from Homeland Security and right-wing media insist that Pretti was a "domestic terrorist" who was "assaulting" the murderous BP officers, who, as dick dribble of doom Greg Bovino said, are the real "victims" and that Pretti and Good were "suspects." Except they weren't. See, to be a "suspect," one has to have a crime to suspect them of committing prior to approaching them. We all know who the criminals were and they had taped over badges and hidden faces. Along with Bovino's bullshit, DHS Secretary Kristi Noem said Pretti was there "to perpetuate violence" like he was a puppy that whined too much, and slithering vermin fucker Stephen Miller did his dance of disinformation like the Nazi spoogebucket he is. 

But it's not working this time. For one thing, the people of Minneapolis are goddamned warriors and they deserve every bit of support they can get. They haven't backed down, and, if anything, each assault against their city and their fellow Minnesotans has made them even more pissed off and engaged. The other thing is that the Trumpistas went too far in condemning Pretti for having a gun, which, again, he had a legal permit to carry. FBI Director and man who looks like he just sharted in front of Sydney Sweeney, Kash Patel, said on some Sunday gab show, "You cannot bring a firearm, loaded, with multiple magazines to any sort of protest that you want. It's that simple. You don't have a right to break the law." 

Except Pretti wasn't breaking any laws, and you can, in fact, bring a firearm to a protest if you live in a state that allows open or concealed carry of firearms. And that's gotten the gun nuts all up in, well, arms.  And that's made them take another look at the videos of the execution of Pretti. And they don't like what they see. See, MAGA and Trump only succeed when people don't have any actual beliefs, but gun humpers are true believers in their perverse interpretation of the 2nd Amendment. Fuck with that and they will let you fucking know. These are the pricks who worshipped Kyle Rittenhouse bringing his assault weapon to murder a protester. They have one thing they are consistent on, so, hey, welcome to the party, assholes. Yeah, it is constitutional overreach. Now let's work together to stop it.

You need to remember, though, that we are dealing with evil motherfuckers in the Trump administration. And they are going to keep escalating until something, somehow stops them. I don't think we can last until January of next year, assuming that Democrats win back at least the House in the midterm elections. That's why I say it's the end of the beginning. If they can make it worse, they will. 

But, goddamn, this murder and the blatant, obvious lies and the reaction to those lies (including the New York Times saying flat out that the Trump administration is "lying") and the passion of the people in Minneapolis and other places under attack, makes me think it might be the beginning of the end. Hell, Chuck Schumer and the Senate Democrats have said they will not support DHS funding in this week's appropriations vote, which might end up partially shutting down the government. 

So maybe, just maybe, it's the beginning of the end. Surely, there will be more violence. Idiots with guns will always be idiots. And surely there will be more resistance. We are shaken but unbowed.

And it all comes back to Trump, too. If he decides the optics of execution by death squad aren't helpful to whatever the fuck he things he's doing, then he might fire Bovino or Noem as a sacrifice to save face. But, most likely, he'll figure out what the most dickish, evil thing he can do is, and just fucking do that.

Martin Luther King Would Still Fuck MAGA's Shit Up

It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, or "That day when conservatives say that one line from King and pretend that's all he ever said." Or, really, considering how the entirety of the MAGA movement, pissy politicians and prickish pundits, are simply denying that civil rights laws are needed, maybe they'll just ignore King altogether. 

It might be best for the motherfuckers to not fake it because, see, they get so much wrong about the "content of character" line from MLK. Just as a reminder, he most famously said it in his "I Have a Dream" speech at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom on August 28, 1963 and this is the full line: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." 

The way that line is interpreted so often by the right is that non-white people will somehow magically earn the right not to be judged by skin color by white people. Except there's a flip side to that, and it's something King would expand on in later work in the last few years of his too-short life. See, it's not just non-white people who are judged by their skin color, but also whites by non-whites. White people were (and are) the fucking problem when it comes to race relations, and King was also implying that they needed to step up if they didn't want color to be the most defining characteristic.

In a keynote speech at the American Psychological Association's annual convention in September 1967, King spoke about the role of social scientists in the fight for civil rights, and he was pretty goddamn clear about who needed some character-building:

"White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism and the understanding needs to be carefully documented and consequently more difficult to reject. The present crisis arises because although it is historically imperative that our society take the next step to equality, we find ourselves psychologically and socially imprisoned. All too many white Americans are horrified not with conditions of Negro life but with the product of these conditions-the Negro himself.

"White America is seeking to keep the walls of segregation substantially intact while the evolution of society and the Negro's desperation is causing them to crumble. The white majority, unprepared and unwilling to accept radical structural change, is resisting and producing chaos while complaining that if there were no chaos orderly change would come."

Later in the speech, talking about rioting and discussing how the product of it was damage to property and not people despite the violence against the bodies of Black people, King quoted Victor Hugo: "If a soul is left in the darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness."

And he explained, "The policymakers of the white society have caused the darkness; they create discrimination; they structured slums; and they perpetuate unemployment, ignorance and poverty. It is incontestable and deplorable that Negroes have committed crimes; but they are derivative crimes. They are born of the greater crimes of the white society. When we ask Negroes to abide by the law, let us also demand that the white man abide by law in the ghettos. Day-in and day-out he violates welfare laws to deprive the poor of their meager allotments; he flagrantly violates building codes and regulations; his police make a mockery of law; and he violates laws on equal employment and education and the provisions for civic services. The slums are the handiwork of a vicious system of the white society; Negroes live in them but do not make them any more than a prisoner makes a prison. Let us say boldly that if the violations of law by the white man in the slums over the years were calculated and compared with the law-breaking of a few days of riots, the hardened criminal would be the white man."

King would fuck MAGA's shit up because he would look at what's happening in Minneapolis and point out that the real criminals aren't the workers and parents and children trying to live meaningful, peaceful lives. No, you can figure out who the villains are by the violence they use to terrify and punish people for just existing. And I believe he would demand widespread civil disobedience, leading it himself. 

As I've said every MLK Day for over 20 years, King was a radical, and the effort to erase his radicalism is one of the successes of the conservative revision of American history. While our hateful leaders pretend that we moved beyond the need for laws protecting the rights of non-whites, as MAGA freaks irrationally scream about "diversity" like it means "holocaust," we have to remember that the job of a society is to lift people up, or it's not worth saving.

Random Thoughts on a Murder and the Motherfuckers Who Are Responsible

1. The murder of Minneapolis resident Renee Nicole Good by ICE agent Jonathan Ross should be one of those pivot points in our history, much like the murder of George Floyd less than a mile away in 2020. Like with Floyd, we shouldn't even be talking about whether or not the murder was "justified." While I get that law enforcement is rarely punished because we're just fucking perverse cop worshippers as a whole in the country, any rational view of the videos of the incident show, clearly, that Ross wasn't in danger, wasn't being threatened, and wasn't hit by Good's SUV while trying to leave the street where she and her wife, Rebecca Good, were observing and recording ICE doing its brutal and illegal work in the streets of their neighborhood. Hell, Renee Good peacefully told a raging Ross, "That's fine, dude. I'm not mad at you" just before the ICE cuntmites escalated the whole thing and Ross, ignoring every training that cops get, briefly walked near the front of the vehicle before moving to the driver's side window as Good started to drive away and shooting Good point blank at her face three times.

2. Let's put a couple of things into perspective here. First off, it's pretty fucked that Ross put the entire community and other officers in danger with his hair trigger finger. He shot wildly, with one hand on his gun and one hand still on his phone, and he not only could have killed Rebecca Good, but he could have easily offed another ICE agent. And the other thing is that you don't fucking shoot someone driving a vehicle unless you have no other choice because a dead person behind the wheel can't fucking control the car, and the SUV went out of control and slammed into another car, but, Jesus, it could have jumped the curb and hit pedestrians. That shit gets to me: the reckless disregard for anyone in his actions. Ross is a violent prick who was upset that a "fucking bitch," as he called Good after the murder, talked back to him, wasn't afraid of him. His masculine privilege and power, artificially-enhanced by that ICE vest, were being questioned by a woman, and he was not gonna take it. 

3. And then there's Renee Good's justifiable fears in that moment. ICE and the Border Patrol are a bunch of fucking animals, using obviously excessive force to grab and disappear both immigrants and citizens. For Good, it had to go through her mind that if she exited the vehicle, the little-dicked demi-men surrounding her might slam her to the ground, beat her, haul her into the back of one of their SUVs, and take her to a detention center for days or weeks. Frankly, it's stunning that she was as calm as she was as she was leaving, trying to get out of Ross's way as he placed himself in front of the vehicle, filming her with one hand and reaching for his gun with the other (against any fucking training this long-time law enforcement goon had undergone). She didn't panic. She just tried to leave. 

4. The reaction by DHS, Trump, Vance, and the entire Tump cumgobbling right-wing media universe has been to demonstrate what abject savages these pigfuckers are. It would have been so easy for Kristi Noem or someone in the administration to say, "We're unsure what happened and we'll investigate." But that's not how the pigfuckers work. The pigfuckers circle their wagons around the ICE animals and the cumgobblers get busy not just defending the animals, but asserting that anyone who dares to accuse Ross of murder and ICE of being a bunch of dullard Nazis who just want to beat up some brown people and liberals without them being able to fight back are actually terrorists. The pigfuckers keep saying, in essence, that Good was asking for it, that she deserved to be killed, and that if anyone attempts to get in the way of ICE agents breaking the law repeatedly, they deserve to be killed, too.

From the sty in the White House, with Noem and Vance and Trump. to the giant shit pit on cable news and podcasts, with Jesse Watters and Megyn Kelly and the whole bunch of them, you can see them all fucking the pigs in the mud, high-fiving that they've demonized an innocent woman as a monster to the mongrel hordes who can't think for themselves. Meanwhile, on Twitter and Truth Social, anonymous incel dolts jack off to all the memes they've made of Good's corpse, put in a bikini or less by Elon Musk's rape machine, Grok. Repellent motherfuckers, all. 

(And if this is getting incoherent, that I’m mixing up my pigfuckers and my cumgobblers, it’s because writing about this nightmare makes my rage flame roar like it could burn empires to the ground.)

5. Minneapolis is resisting and ICE and the Trump administration don't know what to do. They were expecting everyone to fold. But, if anything, this is starting to look like some kind of tipping point, like a line was crossed here that is moving even those who supported this administration and supported this bullshit immigration crackdown. It's moving those who have only a glancing interest in politics. ICE is going door-to-door in Minneapolis, literally just breaking down doors and looking for anyone they can drag in. DHS is having its largest ever force go in there to punish the city for daring to fight back, for daring to not just knuckle under. 

But here's the thing: if you lie all the time, then you won't be believed. You gotta mix some truth in with the lies. But this administration and their media lie all the fucking time. So you're better off thinking they're full of shit. Chances are you're right. And with the Good murder, we all fucking saw it. We're all witnesses. We saw Ross call her a "fucking bitch" on his own video. We saw him leave the scene of the crime. We've seen his ICE criminal buddies empty his apartment of anything that might be evidence that he wanted to shoot some commies. We saw the shooting and we saw them try to tell us that we weren't seeing what we were clearly seeing. 

This might be the start of something. I feel like we're in a race between those who want to bring this madness to an end and the mad leaders who want to bring us all to heel as they completely gut the rule of law in this country. They want us to be afraid. They are going to do more and more to scare us. It's going to get harder and harder not to let the fear overwhelm us. 

We didn't ask to live in this moment. We didn't ask to be called to action. Yet here we are. But we have to figure out the best way to fight and soon. Or the pigfuckers win.

Zohran Mamdani's Radical Refocus of the Left Is What We've Needed

If you need a boost to start this new year right, even as we fall further into the Trump-fucked abyss, I encourage you to watch the entire inauguration ceremony for New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani. It was lefty bliss, a balm for the battered soul and a jolt to the heart yearning for action. From people abused by the immigration system giving the oath to Public Advocate Jumaane Williams to Williams's emotional speech, from Gen Z fave Lucy Dacus singing the old labor movement song "Bread and Roses" to Bernie Sanders's rousing introduction for Mamdani. Serious liberalpalooza vibes all around, like some kind of fever dream of democracy actually coming through for once. 

Most importantly, in his inauguration address, Mamdani didn't just reaffirm his progressive agenda, saying that "I have been told that this is the occasion to reset expectations, that I should use this opportunity to encourage the people of New York to ask for little and expect even less. I will do no such thing. The only expectation I seek to reset is that of small expectations." Yes, that was terrific, as was his restating of the goals of his campaign, making clear that he was going to push for big ideas and big efforts. He also demonstrated an understanding of the broad array of identities that he will be leading, talking about individuals as threads in a larger tapestry.

But what got me practically cheering on my couch was when Mamdani went directly at a couple of the shibboleths of contemporary politics, the kind of bullshit that Republicans have been slinging since at least the FDR era, ideas that have become so ingrained in American rhetoric that Democrats often find themselves saying much the same or having to react to them. Mamdani's approach was to take back a version of progressivism that hearkens to the early 20th century and through the time of the New Deal: a sense that we're all in this together and we better fucking act like we are and the clearest expression of that is the government that we elect and demand action from.

He said, "Beginning today, we will govern expansively and audaciously. We may not always succeed. But never will we be accused of lacking the courage to try. To those who insist that the era of big government is over, hear me when I say this: No longer will City Hall hesitate to use its power to improve New Yorkers’ lives." And if you immediately think about Ronald Reagan when you read that line on big government, Mamdani is actually quoting Bill Clinton's 1996 inaugural address when he took the Democratic Party into Republican-lite territory. Clinton said it like it was a fact coming out of the Reagan/Bush years, and he leaned into it instead of cursing it or vowing to change it. Mamdani is throwing it back into the cesspool of shitty ideas with a call to move government back to its rightful place as democratic expression of what the broad populace needs and desires, not merely a tool used too often for oppression and neglect while favoring the wealthy few who know how to manipulate its complex machinery and its facile leaders.

Then, in something that has pissed off all the right people, Mamdani went right at the foundation of conservative ideology when he said, "We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism. If our campaign demonstrated that the people of New York yearn for solidarity, then let this government foster it." Now that's some socialism that walks the motherfucking walk right there. 

The great lie of America is that the only way to succeed is by placing the individual self above all else, looking out for #1 and all that bullshit. It's been the cement shoes on the workers' rights movements since the 1980s, when we moved from the collectivist dreams of the 1960s and 70s to the "Greed is good" era of amped-up capitalism. We thought we'd shift back during the Obama years, but that was beaten to death by the greedy fucks in the GOP and their complicit media. What was the Tea Party movement but a conglomeration of avarice and ignorance masked as freedom from the government? "The American dream" has long been a sucker's bet, a way to make one's own advancement the only the thing that matters, not the idea of living in a country, a state, or a city, even, where everyone's needs are the business of everyone else and that helping the least makes life better for all people. Mamdani did indeed campaign on how New York City is almost uniquely positioned to demonstrate how this can actually work.

It's extra important for young people especially to hear that. They have been inundated with the venality and treachery of the Trump administration, where government doesn't give a shit about you and fuck you if you think it should. I'd implore them (and everyone) to learn the goddamn difference between democratic socialism and communism because the motherfuckers are coming after Mamdani hard, invoking Soviet gulags and Chinese oppression. Mamdani isn't a communist. He doesn't believe that all people should be equal in property and wealth. He doesn't believe in the government owning all housing and controlling all industries so that it gives out homes and jobs. Thinking that the ultra-rich should pay higher taxes so that poor people can ride the buses for free does not equal enforced food rationing and the imprisonment of dissidents. In fact, those who keep bringing up that shit should be treated like the fucking morons or despicable liars that they are.

And it's also important that the Democratic Party watches how this all goes down and learns. Take this radical refocus, this return what used to motivate the left and the center-left and, hell, even the center politically, and use it. It's time to put Clintonism on a raft and set it on fire. It's time to assert that government can be a force for good. It's time to promise to do things on a national level that Mamdani is already doing, like shitcanning everything the corrupt and compromised former mayor, Eric Adams, did after he was indicted. Promise to reverse everything Trump has done and raze his golden ballroom. Talk about immigrants like they are welcome additions to the country, not invaders or criminals. Jesus, this shouldn't be hard.

I don't know how this will go or what Mamdani will be able to accomplish. But, goddamn, it's a good start. And as we reach new levels of fucked as a desperate Trump tries to cram in every terrible thing he wants to do before the midterms change the equation, I'll take whatever glimmers of light I can. 

Haiku Review of 2025: House of Haiku

Last round here. Thanks for all the haiku from far and wide, from across seas and across borders. If yours didn't get picked, it was because I'm fickle and churlish and other fancy words, but there were too damn many good ones. I read 'em all, and even if they didn't make the big board, they were a delight to soak in.

From Barb E.:

The school day ending

ICE vans near the pick up lane

To kidnap some moms

From Kevin in North Minneapolis: 

Water Show

Little fishing boat,

See it heading out to sea.

Watch death fall on it.

From Chris in London (formerly in Hong Kong):

Yeah, It Got That Bad

Farewell to Hong Kong

Fubared by its own elite 

Pander to China

From Marcia in Massachusetts:

In every state

Citizens are rejecting

This regime of hate 

From Tom M.:

Not Yet

I wake up daily

Read the obituaries

Champagne is ready

From Jack T. in Redneckville, IL: 

The Vance Kiss of Death

Who could blame the pope

For dying after meeting

Our couch-fucking veep

And a final pair from me:

The Real Threat

Trans women don't want

To rape you in the bathroom.

However, Trump would.

Dead Dick

"But I hated Trump,"

Cheney says as demons fuck

His face with barbed cocks.

Adios, 2025. You can go fuck yourself sideways and upside down. Let's hope the next year brings the beginning of the end of all this fuckery (waves at the world in general).

Haiku Review of 2025: No Other Haiku

And still the haiku poured in, covering every topic under the Trump-eclipsed sun. Let's start today with a personal one from a long-time rudester. 

From Tom in Roanoke:

2025 was a tough year

Cancer is scary

Even when you can beat it

You can still have doubts

From Jo in Altadena, California:

Eaton Fire, January 7th

Altadena burned.

Hydrants dry; firefighters fled.

Nineteen died in flames.

From even more depressed than last year:

home depot arrests

secret police run rampant

disappearing act

From Dick "Just call me 'Dick'" Fritter from hell in the Midwest:

Shit Palace

America now

Shit Palace tacky White House

Shit rains on our heads

From Scohogo in Ohio's Fairyfieldlands:

Maga gonna Maga

Poor little racists

But thanks to Kirk, DEI

Is the new N-word

From Albatross:

Why Premiums Rise

GOP Healthcare

Was formerly "Die quickly"

Now they add "asshole."

From Doug in Sugar Pine:

Portland, sure, but also just down the road

Plastic frogs are more

Heritage Americans

Than Miller or Vance

And my contribution to the day:

Kilmar

They made him suffer

To hide their crimes and failure

And because they could

The Cabinet of Contempt

They have only one

Facial expression: The sneer

To show they hate us.

Okay, one more day of this and then we're done with this cockflea of a year. Send 'em on: rudepundit@yahoo.com. And don't forget the form: a line of 5 syllables, a line of 7 syllables, and a line of 5 syllables. Title it if you want. Let's keep it going until we dance on the ashes of 2025.

Haiku Review of 2025: Wake Up Haiku Man

Already, the email has been reamed out by the tide of haiku pouring in. Apparently, a year of oppression and rage and occasional joy has unleashed the poet in a bunch of you. Keep 'em coming. I can go for days on haiku alone. Here are some of my favorites so far:

From Rabbitearz in L.A.:

BUTT-UGLY

Mar-a-Lago face!

The Masque of the Red Death Squad

Has Styrofoam Cheeks.

From VJ in NJ:

Kennedy's Remains

A worm ate his brain.

Drugs fried his voice. Privilege 

his only vaccine.

From Sarah in Seattle:

Our Savior

Impeachments! Mueller!

Jack Smith!   He's still here.  Bring on

the damn Grim Reaper.

From Q from Hell, USA: 

The Files

Girls who want to speak

Have tales of horror and pain

Their truth is silenced.

From TMangrove in Wisconsin:

The top one percent

Are stealing your future, not

Ana and Jose.

And two with a similar sentiment:

From Bernie in Brooklyn:

Is he dead yet?

I hate waking up

Each and every a.m.

And that’s my first thought

From Leanne, waiting impatiently, in Chicago:

The biggest fucking block party ever

Not yet, Goddamnit

But we will all know the when 

And how we will dance

Let's finish with a couple more from yours truly:

An Immigrant Doctor Realizing He's Been Asked to Save Stephen Miller's Life

Would Hippocrates

Really be all that upset if 

"Oops" just this one time?

One Moment of Transcendance at Sinners

The blues connecting

To music across time was

Pure cinema bliss.

Slap me in the face with more haiku. You know what to do: Send 'em to rudepundit@yahoo.com. And if yours isn't in here, hang in there - I'm reading each and every one. But, like joints and whiskey, I can never have too much. 

Haiku Review of 2025: One Haiku After Another

What a motherfucker of a year this was. I mean, seriously, it's like this year took all the mothers, lined them up, and fucked them one after the other, tossing a fucked mother aside as it moved on to fuck the next one. Just nothing but day after day of brutality and hatred and ignorance and more hatred and violence and more hatred and egomania and more hatred and you get the idea. You were there. The only thing we've got is that we went through it all together. And, like we do every year in this rude joint, we memorialize the fuckery with the simple yet poignant and/or pointed poetic form of the haiku. 

And now you can submit yours. 

The deal is the same as it ever was. I'm a stickler for the form: three lines of 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again. But the subject is wide open. Be serious, be stupid, be your incredible or fucked up you. Email them to rudepundit@yahoo.com. Whichever ones make me laugh or make me cry or get me all hot and throbbing or some combination of two or three of those will be published on the blog. I'm the only judge here, and I'm probably high right now, so no insult if you don't get in. 

Give it a title. And include some name and place, like "Teresa from Measlestown, AR" or  or "Suck My Immigrant Balls from NY" or "Markie in Austin" (adios, English Teacher, the funniest show no one watched). 

Lemme show you how it's done:

Except to Erika's Bank Account

Charlie Kirk poisoned

The hearts of young people and

His death meant nothing

You Can't Tell ICE from the Regular Criminals

One day, someone will

Kill a masked man trying to

Kidnap their mother.

Interview with a Worm

Lemme warn you all:

RFK's skull is empty

And I starved to death

Ode to Trump Voters

You fuckers did this.

You earned the pain you'll suffer

Before we save you.

And away we go. Flood my inbox with the effulgence of your creative minds.

The Rude Pundit's Annual Nativity-palooza, Now with Bonus "Artisan" Fun

Like movies about suicidal snowmen and tortured ghosts and pole-frozen tongues, some things are a tradition around the rude house. Beloved reruns are good for the soul. My favorites to trot out this week are the Invader Zim Christmas episode and Olive the Other Reindeer. Heck, I just saw Wish for Wings That Work is on YouTube, so I'm gonna put that into rotation. Even here, in Left Blogsylvania, we can indulge in revisiting old posts.

Before Threads, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok, Facebook, and many other places you can get your fix of weird shit, I posted this Christmas blast back in 2004, updated yearly with new bits of freakishness (some links might not work anymore, but they were or are all real and unironic):

Xmas - And, lo, a small teddy bear will lead them:
In the days before Christmas, the Rude Pundit roamed his neighborhood, looking at the displays in the charming stores and corner markets. There he saw the agony of so many dichotomous feelings about this holiday. One window had a kneeling, praying Santa next to a baby Jesus in the manger. Santa's hat was off. He was balding. Another display had the jolly old fat man landing his sleigh and reindeer on the roof of the manger. Surprisingly, neither Mary nor Joseph seemed rattled by the noise, although a camel was looking upward, as if asking, "What the fuck?" The Rude Pundit loved that camel.

Ah, sweet camel, what the fuck, indeed. Christ and commerce, Alleluia. The Savior has been born and he thanks you for your presents. Santa showing that he'll even honor the king of the Jews in the land of Islam. There's no telling what it means (and don't get all up in the Rude Pundit's face about St. Nicholas). Except this: we want to embrace both things, good deconstructionists that we are: Santa, who soothes our greed, and Jesus, who promises us peace. Either way, we want them both to tell us we're good people, nice people. And, of course, guilt-ridden Christians want to make sure that Santa toes the party line, you know.

For the holiday, here's a few of my favorite nativity sets, none of which are intended to be mocking of the event:

That right there is the Veggie Tales Nativity. In case you don't know, Veggie Tales are cute vegetables who love Christ and salad tossing. The newborn savior up there is a carrot. Get it? A baby carrot? What a delight.


Holy shit, that bear nativity is one of the creepiest fucking things I've ever seen. Staring straight ahead with their dead eyes, it looks like a satanic cult sacrifice to some horrible bear-demon. Although, the three wise bears have provided snacks for the blood rite: salmon, honey, and berries. All go well with cub entrails.

Every year, I think, "I wonder if there's an even weirder nativity set that I can find" and every year I come across something where I think, "Yeah, that's friggin' crazy shit, man." Here, it's the snow people nativity, with a snow angel, a snow Joseph, a snow Mary, and horrible, smiling snow kings. Did Snow Mary give birth to Snow Baby Jesus? Or did they all just make Snow Baby Jesus out of snow? And the temperature in Bethlehem this time of year is in the 60s. Is that why they seem to be festooned with turds, to try to hold their globular shape a little longer?

That goddamn nightmare fuel isn't a lab experiment gone horrible awry. It's a bunch of white mice with eyes so wide they look like someone laced some cheese with meth and let the little bastards go crazy. It's gonna be horrible when baby Jesus mouse gets crucified in trap.

This is not to mention the Chickentivity, the Moosetivity, the Barntivity, the Native American Nativity, and the various Beartivities, all available unironically for your Christmas consumption.

And then there's the baby nativity:

You might think, "Oh, that's adorable. What's so wrong with it?" To which I can only inform you that the implication of it is that a baby Mary shoved a baby Jesus out of her baby vagina.

Speaking of implications, think of what this dog one means:  

This means there is a dog Pilate who will sentence dog Jesus to dog crucifixion. It means that there is a dog Mary Magdalene who is a dog prostitute. This is not to mention the dog centurions who routinely torture and kill dogs, the dog slaves who serve their dog masters, and the Jewish dogs who get blamed for everything. But don't worry. Dog Jesus will rise from the dead in three days. Have some damn kibble waiting for him. 

And to all a good night.

Oh, wait. What's that you say? You think that last one was kind of a weak one to end on? Well, then, fuck you. Here's the Day of the Dead nativity:

Yeah, you might think they're singing Christmas carols, but they're all screaming in horror and pain. Essentially, that's Christmas in the time of MAGA and RFK, Jr.

Oh, wait. What's that? Those aren't that bad after all we've suffered? Then how about some bullshit oyster shell "art":

Look, I get the whole "now that I've retired, my world is making shit out of trash that I can sell on Etsy" ethos, but that looks like a family of viruses waiting to infect you, which, I guess, is how Christianity spread. 

All of those are preferable to this fucking thing here. This might be one of the first of these nativities to make me feel visceral anger. Check this shit out:

Look, I'm not gonna tell you how to celebrate your belief in the filthy barn birth of the rape baby of an invisible sky wizard. All I'm gonna say is that if I were the rape baby of an invisible sky wizard, I'd be pissed if people everywhere put this up to celebrate my birth from my mom who was raped by my invisible sky wizard dad after an asshole angel told my mom that she had no choice but to give birth to the invisible sky wizard's rape baby.

Glass blobs not your thing? Want something that's a bit more like someone was fucking around with some straw wrappers and decided to make it Christmasy? Check out the rolled paper nativity:

It's recycled paper to promote "faith and sustainability." They very much want you to know that it's goddamned recycled paper. No fresh paper for them. And you can tell me this is some kind of special art form that poor people do in whatever poor country you just heard about, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks. It sucks as art, it sucks as a decoration, it sucks ass. Speaking of, where are the animals? No rolling paper camel? Or donkey? Just blonde, curly-haired Mary, a lump of garbage for Jesus, and armed kings, with a Joseph that looks like it would rather be burned in a dump.

Not enough like the nativity you might see on the mantle of the leader of a forest cult dedicated to cannibalism and blood drinking? How about this folk horror: 

It's like the last thing you see before the cellar door closes and you wait to find out if you're meant to be sacrificed to the corn god or impregnated by the cock of the spirit of the wheat in a fertility rite. Puritans would look at these Puritan-looking motherfuckers and decided, "Nope. There's no god. Let's just jump in the ocean."

Finally (for real), here's one I actually like. It's the Recycled Auto Parts Nativity: 

C'mon. It's got everything. Skeletal camels, edges that would slice open a loaf of bread and some fishes, and baby Jesus sleeping on a bed of chicken wire. That's awesome art by Armando Ramirez, and I'd proudly put that up in my home next to my Peanuts creche and dare some internet asshole to talk shit about it. 

Merry Christmas, baby. Let's just get out of this year alive. May George Bailey finally get to push Mr. Potter into the frozen river.

(Note: Previous editions of the nativity post have included the Zombitivity, Dogtivity, the Boyd's Bears Nativity, and the Rubber Duck...oh, fuck, you get the idea.)

A Rapist Yelled at America

Last night, all the broadcast TV networks, as well as the cable news ones, paused their programming to give a rapist free rein to say whatever he wanted for 20 minutes. That the rapist is the president of the United States doesn't change the fact that he's a rapist (the crime a judge said he really committed when he was found liable for sexual assault). That the networks felt cowed into showing a meaningless speech delivered by a rapist because of fears that the rapist would sue them or threaten their right to broadcast is significant. But that's the power courts and corporations have decided this particular rapist should have. 

The rapist, who is not just a rapist but a financial criminal who committed 34 felonies, bellowed and blustered as if he was trying to cover up for the fact that he's a rapist and a criminal and someone who was close friends with and likely helped a child sex trafficker. The rapist, who also stole money from his own charitable organizations, is not good with math. For instance, he lied about the number of undocumented migrants who entered the country during the administration of Joe Biden, who is not a rapist. The rapist said, "Our country was being invaded by an army of 25 million people" and that includes "11,888 murderers." Neither of those numbers are real, but let's say they are. That means that .04% of the migrants are murderers. That's fewer murderers than estimated in the general population (which I've seen at .05%). It means that migrants are less likely to be murderers than people already here. 

Add to that the rapist's other nonsensical mathematical statements about lowering prescription prices "by as much as 400, 500 and even 600 percent," which an average fourth grader can tell you is impossible, and that, under Biden, "the typical family lost $5,000 to $10,000 in higher energy costs," which would mean bills tripled, at least, and that didn't happen, and it becomes quite obvious: The rapist is a desperate moron. And he thinks he can blind you with numbers that are completely made up. But he is a rapist, and if everyone always remembers that he's a rapist, if the corporate media were to remind us always that he is a rapist, then maybe he couldn't get away with those lies because who is going to believe a rapist. (Don't answer that. Please don't answer that.)

But the other problem the rapist has is that he is not a good speaker. He's a loud one who can make stupid faces to punctuate a point. That works at rallies where large groups of rapist worshippers gather, all predisposed to giggle as the rapist jiggles in his little dance. Because he is not a good speaker in situations like this, because he yells into a microphone and distorts his voice, because he doesn't really have a facial expression beyond stupid and sneering, because he always sounds like he's berating a waiter for not bringing an extra basket of bread fast enough, he came across as a goddamn lunatic, like the cornered rapist that he is. He was dumb enough to interrupt the season finale of Survivor, and that means that a whole bunch of people who ordinarily don't watch his mad rantings got a taste of what he's really like, with his pathetic Powerpoint presentation and petty grievances. 

They got to hear a rapist say of Biden, "He was always blaming Congress and everyone else" while at the same time blaming Biden for everything that hasn't gone right for him. They got to hear a rapist, a rapist who is a Republican president with a Republican House and Republican Senate and a Republican majority on the Supreme Court, say about the failure to do anything to prevent health insurance premiums from skyrocketing for millions of Americans, "It is not the Republicans’ fault. It’s the Democrats’ fault." They got to hear a simpering rapist begging for love and credit for things that he has completely fabricated out of his rapist mind. It's always pathetic when that happens. It's like Jeb Bush saying, "Please clap" if Jeb Bush were a rapist. In other words, we might feel pity but we just feel disgust.

A rapist yelled at America last night. A rapist insisted that he was the greatest president in history. A rapist declared that he did more than any other president has in eight years, which, if measured by destruction and death, perhaps, perhaps. I want Americans to bear in mind every time he pleads for a Nobel Peace Prize, every time he glorifies himself by putting his cursed name on something, every time he opens that lying hole in his face, that it is a rapist saying that, that he behaves like a rapist, that he objectifies everything like a rapist, and that he thinks that he should get to fuck whatever he wants. And that, really, the one thing we don't know yet is just how horrific of a rapist he is.

These Murderous Motherfuckers and Our American Soul

Let's not be naive about this shit. To an extent, pretty much every president has been a murderer, often through war crimes committed by their military. What were all the presidents who committed the genocide of indigenous Americans if not murderers? More recently, George W. Bush's "war" in Iraq was a mass murder of civilians. Among other horrors, Barack Obama was responsible for a wedding massacre and the extrajudicial killing of an American with his drone war (and, yes, some of us commented on it quite loudly and quite often). Sure, every president offered some bullshit legal justification for their more heinous acts, but that doesn't really make them not murder. History is mostly a fucking nightmare, and we need to be clear-headed about our country's role in sometimes being the monster in the nightmare. 

But something is very different about the ongoing drone missile attacks on small boats that are allegedly transporting "drugs" for "the cartels" by the administration of Donald Trump, who, somehow is not only still alive but still president. While some presidents certainly celebrated murders done in their names (and some did not, with Obama even acknowledging mistakes with his endless drone attacks), Trump and his team of groveling lickspittles have been absolutely gleeful about missile killing the people on the offending boats in the Caribbean and the Pacific Ocean. And it's not just that they might be slaughtering people who are fishermen or who are, at best, low-level transportation providers for drug runners, it's that they don't fucking care. They don't care that they are offering no proof that drugs are on the boat. And they sure as fuck don't care that the alleged "crimes" don't get the criminals the death penalty if taken to trial. 

The utter depravity runs deep, as we've learned with the revelation that someone, either Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (I am not fucking calling it the "Department of War") or Admiral Frank Bradley, ordered the military to fire again to kill two survivors of the first drone attack, two men climbing out of the ocean onto the remains of their destroyed boat, waving for help from any vehicle nearby, and instead getting bombed to pieces by the United States because "drugs." Hegseth, who always looks like he's waiting to get back to masturbating to his own dick pics, has posted a meme involving children's book and TV show turtle Franklin (who, it should be noted, is Canadian, so...go immigrants), all while shifting his story on the drone "double tap," which is when you shoot someone in the head to make sure they're dead. 

So far, the United States has murdered at least 90 people in these death-penalty-without-arrest-charge-or-trial cases. Every time we hear about what really is happening, we learn that we're being lied to. Yes, more than a few of the dead were fishermen. Boats were heading away from the U.S. This is not to mention the reality that Venezuela doesn't fucking produce fentanyl. Whenever a boat is blown up and its crew is murdered, Trump or his Siren of Doom Karoline "No, Really, I'm 28 and My Husband is 60" Leavitt tell anyone questioning it to go fuck themselves with the wreckage because it was carrying enough "drugs" to kill tens or hundreds of thousands of Americans. But that's fentanyl. And illegal fentanyl almost exclusively comes from Mexico (and a little from China). The administration's response to requesting evidence that the people they are murdering are not just drug smugglers, but smugglers coming to our country has been, more or less, "Fuck you. That's our evidence." And then they mock the idea that we should take them into custody and do all those things that make us a putatively civilized country. Silly little believers in the rule of law that we are.

With a couple of exceptions, like confusing, weird elf Rand Paul, Republican support for the murders and for the idea that we are at "war" with "narcoterrorists" is high. Sen. Tom Cotton, who is an Adam's apple with a head on top, said of the murders, "I’m not just comfortable with it, I want to continue it." Republicans offer two things in defense of the murders that are just fucking galling. They are claiming, as Cotton did, that these are boats that are "crewed by associates and members of foreign terrorist organizations that are trying to kill American kids." That's based on Trump declaring cartels as terrorist groups, which is some bullshit since the goals of terrorists are to, you know, terrorize a population to achieve a political goal, not to sell things to make money. But it also implies that they want to kill Americans. Drug dealers don't want to kill their customers. That makes no fucking sense. It's like saying that Waymo taxis are just murder machines. They're not trying to kill anyone because they want people to take the driverless cars. Of course, if you're using it, you might die, but, really, that's on you. (I don't fuckin' know if I'm talking about Waymos or drugs anymore. Probably both.) 

And the other galling thing is that what Republicans cite again and again is Obama's use of drones in attack in the Middle East. House Intelligence Chair Rick Crawford of Arkansas, who calls drug running "chemical warfare" (which is levels of hysteria that George H.W. Bush could never hope to reach), said about watching the video of one of the murders off Venezuela: "Those who appear ‘troubled’ by videos of military strikes on designated terrorists have clearly never seen the Obama-ordered strikes." And Speaker Mike Johnson, who always looks like he's trying to remember where he left the key to the door to his sex torture room before the man chained there starves to death, said, "One of the things I was reminded of this morning is that under Barack Obama, President Obama, he had — I think there were 550 drone strikes on people who were targeted as enemies of the country, and nobody ever questioned it." Except everyone questioned it, including Democrats in Congress, and there were hearings and more. And Trump amped up the drones, launching many more than Obama. 

The cynical side of me wants to return to that first paragraph and say that this is very much who we are as a country precisely because of Obama's drone war. But this feels different because the fig leaf of "war" is nonexistent. Trump and the rest can claim we're at war, but Obama was at least operating under the Authorization for the Use of Military Force that started the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, bullshit though they may have been.

But the embrace of the savagery here is what's disturbing. The insistence that, for instance, the two men left alive after the first drone attack needed to be killed despite it being a violation of every rule for war or every law anywhere. In his nauseating interview on Meet the Press, Cotton also said, "At one point, the guy takes off his T-shirt, maybe he’s trying to get a sun tan. It doesn’t really matter what they were trying to do. What matters is that they were not in a shipwreck state, distressed, dog-paddling in the water." Who the fuck says that about people in the middle of the goddamn ocean? 

And that's what I mean about our American soul, which was hurting already. It's like the notion of having humanity or compassion is seen as something for pussies and suckers. In one of their Cletus safaris, the New York Times interviewed Trump voters about the drone murders, and four out of six were totally fine with it, not needing evidence, trusting every lie that shits out of Trump's anus mouth. One dickhead said, "I’m not losing any sleep over the two people clinging to the boat."

As we murder our way to being the world's pariah, as we torture people being held in detention facilities and concentration camps, as we turn our backs on our allies, as we enable more genocides while Trump laughably claims he's a man of peace, we are withering that soul away until we are nothing but our crimes. What we need is a concerted, unified message from Democrats that these are horrific crimes and that they will prosecute people for these murders when they have the power, that they will pursue anyone, up to and including generals, cabinet officials, and Trump, for committing murder, that we can do something to save ourselves. 

A Poem for Thanksgiving from Indigenous America

"For Girls Who Run Through Storms like Buffalos, Knowing It’s the Quickest Way Through"

By Tanaya Winder

We were never ones to avoid pain 

even if we found him in another person.

And when we do (find him again)—

let him have not been born in the rain 

and grown up to become a storm. 

His kisses lightning that scorches the earth. 

As young girls, our grandmothers warned us 

When there is lightning, cover all the mirrors. 

But, one night thunder snapped; 

its rumble shattering the vanity.

We’ve chased cloudbursts ever since. 

Committed ourselves to flood and flight.

For girls like us who pray to the Sky Beings—  

Protect us whenever we go 

                                          where we were never meant to be. 

Put tobacco down 

for the ones

with Creator-shaped holes in our hearts. 

We spend lifetimes trying to fill,

to feel. What is the medicine for this?

Our mothers tell us (as they taught) 

Send them love. Send them love. Send [say it] love—

So, praise our fathers who left in the night,

mapping us into unlovable.

They made us tough as nails. Now we know 

how to hold ourselves together.

Praise the ones who listened 

when girls like us asked them to leave.

Praise the lovers who never returned.

You helped us no longer be afraid of ghosts.

For girls like us, 

the wound never fully heals.

The gentle rhythm of its pulse, a reminder to

praise our mothers for teaching us words are seeds.

We plant, bloom ourselves anew.

Praise the lightning. Praise the storms

we run through

because girls like us know—

this is where 

our medicine comes from.

How to Grapple with Having a Child Rapist as President

Funny thing: I hated Dick Cheney, like hated him with a visceral, almost incomprehensible level of hate. And I'll accuse him of all kinds of horrific things, but you know what I'd never say about him? That he himself is a rapist. I'm not saying he didn't cover for those who rape and torture. I'm not saying he isn't sexual assault-adjacent because we saw what happened in Abu Ghraib and elsewhere. I'm simply saying that, despite my loathing of the man, I simply have no basis to say he's a rapist or that he committed any kind of sex crimes. No one was ever reported to have accused him of that. And there are plenty of people I fucking despise who I could say that about. Indeed, if false rape allegations were genuinely, widely used to attack shitty people, you'd think that a whole lot more shitty people would be falsely accused of rape.

I bring this up not to backhandedly compliment Cheney ("nice job not raping, dick"), but to point out how absolutely fucking perverse it is that anyone would defend Donald Trump by saying that any accusations against him regarding rape and assault are fake (or "fake news," as the dunderheaded like to moan, like they've made some awesome point). First off, Trump is one of the most litigious little bitches ever, and he'd sue anyone who falsely accused him. And then there's the fact that a goddamned jury found him liable for sexual assault of E. Jean Carroll. And then there are sworn depositions stating that he raped or assaulted multiple girls connected with pedophile and sex trafficker and Trump bestie Jeffrey Epstein, let alone all the free-floating allegations and stories of his lechery and violence. And that's all before you get to the tranche of 20,000 documents where Epstein and others talk about what a fucking scumbag Trump is. That doc dump is merely an amuse bouche. Think what that means is in the entree, the actual Epstein files, the documents from the investigation into Epstein that led to his arrest and "suicide," as well as the conviction of his co-pimp, Ghislaine Maxwell, now serving time relaxing on a pillow while being fed grapes by guards in exchange.

As our torrential news cycle moves on to the next thing (the clusterfuck of stupidity over Russia's peace plan for Ukraine or Marjorie Taylor Greene punking out on Congress or the upcoming war with Venezuela for "reasons" or whatever disaster/conflagrations/fresh fuckery occurs while I'm writing this), we're still waiting for the next shoe drop, or, really, the next truckload of shoes to drop now that some version of the Epstein files are going to be released. Whether or not Trump has had his name redacted out of them or if those documents are held back for "national security" or because Trump ordered the Department of Justice to "investigate" Democrats associated with the scandal, one thing is certain: we will likely have to grapple with the idea that the president of the United States is, at best, someone who looked the other way while a close friend and associate ran a sex trafficking ring. Or, as seems likely, is himself a child rapist (and, yes, 15 year-old girls are children - let's not even entertain that weird discussion). The worst case scenario is that Trump himself was involved in trafficking, something that is, sadly, awfully, not outside the realm of possibility.

So what the fuck do we do with that? It's not meant to be a glib question. Think about the implications for, well, everything. We can assume that Republicans in Congress will live in denial or be ordered to do so or be intimidated into doing so, and thus removal from office isn't a possibility. So that means everyone from world leaders to everyday citizens will have to deal with a child rapist. How much shit can we stomach? And what does that say about us if we as a country don't have the will or the energy or, goddamn us, the interest in demanding that we not have a child rapist as president? We've sunk pretty fucking low pretty fucking fast in these last 10 months (sorry, that's how long he's been back in office, even though it feels like forever). Trump and his Republican lackeys have caused massive suffering and massive amounts of deaths. How fucking strong is the camel's back? How much can Trump corrupt everyone around him?

I wish I had the answer. Or maybe I do and I fucking hate it. We've already seen some pretty goddamn intense compartmentalization and denial in the fact that so many people seem to have no issue making nice with a court-adjudicated rapist of an adult, let alone a convicted felon (no, really, that all happened). Every single time someone is smiling next to him for a photo, they are giving the thumbs-up to Trump's crimes. So maybe that's who we are. Maybe we are so used to how shitty we've become that nothing penetrates our protective shell made of historical callouses.  

Or maybe, just maybe, the attention given to the Epstein files as some kind of Rosetta Stone of the corruption of the elites will have shifted the brain chemistry of enough people, especially those in some kind of position of power, that something will give, that maybe, finally, something is appalling enough.

But I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Random Observations on Senate Democrats Shitting the Shutdown Bed

1. Here's the thing that bugs the living shit out of me about 8 Democratic senators negotiating a budget deal with Republicans to end the government shutdown that has gone on for over 40 days: we, the base, had the backs of Democrats and even that wasn't enough to stiffen their spines for the long haul. It makes our party look like cowardly assholes, and it's a betrayal of an energy and movement that has been growing, from the massive No Kings protests to the overwhelming vote for Democratic candidates and causes all around the country (not just in the Northeast). Motherfuckers, we were ready to go, with money, with recruitment to races that weren't even in play, with enthusiasm and excitement and a base that was being repopulated with Gen Z voters. There's plenty of time before the midterms to get that momentum going again, but this is one hell of a mess to get through.

2. From the outset, Democrats should have asked for so much more than an extension on ACA health care subsidies and restoring funding to Medicaid and Medicare that the Big Barfy Bill cut. But they decided to narrow it down to those items, and we went along with it. And then Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, who should be falling on his sword and resigning, negotiated that down to a one-year extension of the subsidies. And then the Hateable Eight negotiated that down to "we'll go fuck ourselves with our Obamacare subsidy request if you don't hit us too hard." Sure, they got a guarantee that federal workers fired during the shutdown would be rehired and a pinky-swear on a vote on the subsidies after the government reopens. But that's pretty fucking close to nothing. It's like getting promised an orgy and you show up lubed and tumescent, only to be told that not only is there no one else there, but you can only masturbate to an old, crispy Sears catalog. 

3. I know you've heard lots of scenarios about why this happened, from bougie frustration at being inconvenienced at the airport to genuine concern for the hungry to general cowardice to getting lobbied by airlines. Lemme take it in a different direction. 

If I were a Democratic senator forced at gunpoint to spin this in a way that doesn't make us look like total feckless bitches, I'd say the following: "The American people need to understand that the president of the United States is a fucking psychopath surrounded by fucking psychopaths with a Supreme Court majority of fucking psychopaths and fucking psychopaths running the Legislative Branch. The only difference between the House and Senate is that the House psychos are more open about how deranged they are and the Senate psychos are better spoken. Except for Tuberville. He's just a piece of shit psycho. 

"I don't use the word 'psychopath' lightly. But they all take pleasure in causing other people to suffer and in killing without remorse. The president has innocent people murdered when he bombs boats. He allows ICE to pepper spray children and babies so that an immigrant parent with a traffic violation can be treated like a terrorist, tearing families apart. And he has no problem letting Americans starve to death or become desperate for food as a negotiating strategy. He doesn't care at all if you and your children can't eat. In fact, he has gone to court to make sure you can't eat. That's the behavior of a fucking psychopath. And Republicans in the Senate are not just enabling the psychopath president. They are cheering him on, saying they like his serial murders and assaults on children. And they have wanted to make sure that millions of Americans don't get health care since this whole thing began. Fucking psychos. 

"I know some people like to use the idea that you can't negotiate with terrorists to justify standing firm. But the thing is that you can. Terrorists want something. They have goals and are willing to bargain. Terrorists have more self-respect than Republicans. And even most terrorists wouldn't do something that kills thousands, if not tens of thousands of their own supporters. But Republicans have no problem causing their voters pain along with everyone else. There is no one rational on their side.

"So how the fuck do you negotiate with elected officials who are willing to massacre the very people who put them in power? The psychopaths were going to happily put Americans through hell on food insecurity just so they could continue to put Americans through hell on health insurance because that's what psychopaths do. And the bonus bullshit is that we could do all the work of getting what we want and then the psycho president just vetoes it and we're all fucked again. Or it could have been all approved and voted into law and then Trump might just ignore the law and freeze the spending because of 'security' or an 'emergency' that is completely fictional and the cockmites at the Supreme Court will just let him. It all fucking sucks and we fucking suck for giving in. But at least we got a completely unenforceable promise of a vote on ACA subsidies and we saved SNAP and a few jobs. Now I'm gonna go home and cry.

"But before I do, lemme talk to you shitheels in red states. You need to give your representatives and senators as much shit as possible for doing this to the country. Or just admit you're the gimps of the GOP."

4. Of course, what Democrats should have done is give much the same speech and say, "And that's why we have to fight. No deal." We'd have gone to the fucking barricades for that kind of ballsiness.

Zohran Mamdani Will Win Because He's Showing How Hope and Joy Works Against Hate and Division

Have you really taken a few minutes to look at the campaign of Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic nominee for mayor of New York City? Because lemme tell you: as despairing as I've been about the vast networks of fuckery arrayed against sane people, Mamdani is providing a double-barrel face-blast of absolute hope and joy, and of course people are eating it up. What's the choice here for mayor? Another sexual predator running on racism and fear while kissing Trump's ass and sucking billionaire dick or the dude who just held a soccer tournament for his supporters?

No, seriously, two weeks ago, in a park in Coney Island (which, if you don't live up here, is a neighborhood and not just an amusement park), Mamdani's campaign co-hosted, with a local football organization, the Cost of Living Classic, a free day-long soccer competition for teams from each of the five boroughs. A clever, lively ad had Mamdani inviting players, and a good-sized crowd showed up to watch, especially when Mamdani spoke before the final game. It was a brilliant move, and one that connected Mamdani with a multiracial sports community that has become huge in NYC. 

That's been how Mamdani has campaigned. It's been about how we all have far more in common than the shit that the GOP uses to divide us, and he's reached out to many different racial and ethnic groups. The difference with Mamdani is that, unlike virtually every politician (especially white ones), he looks completely at home fucking everywhere. I mean, look at his most recent ad, where he speaks Arabic and hangs out in small grocery stores and restaurants. Look at the ad where he speaks to the Latino community in Spanish and laughs at himself as he gets some pronunciations wrong. Look at him speaking to the Black parishioners at First Baptist Church of Crown Heights, connecting with everyone and talking in ways that join all working class people in common cause. That's some talent right there.

When he was attacked for criticizing Israel, Mamdani, who is Muslim, didn't change his position or try to come up with squishy ways to describe his beliefs. Fuck no. He explained why he believes what he believes and he went directly to Jewish groups to make his case. And now he's been endorsed by Jewish leaders, including orthodox and Hasidic rabbis. Not once has Mamdani hidden who he is, with a speech that talked about racist, Islamophobic insults against him and about how Muslims were treated after 9/11 and another video showing him breaking fast on Eid. 

Every move Mamdani has made has been with an open heart and open arms. When he goes after Cuomo (or, before he dropped out, Eric Adams), it's with an irrepressible, fuck-this-guy attitude. His man-on-the-street videos are object lessons in how a candidate can connect with the anyone. He unabashedly  proclaims his love and support for the trans community and has promised to back up that support with policies. He talks about "Trump-proofing" New York City against ICE and against the White House's attack on worker rights. And his focus on the cost of living in NYC is something that is music to every average person's ears, including free buses. (Seriously, read his policy papers. They are some thorough, well-conceived liberal positions, the kind of stuff that makes "moderate" Dems shit themselves at their think tanks.)

One thing that demonstrates how effective Mamdani's approach has been is not just the savagery with which the right has attacked him, trying to turn him into a radical communist who is going to burn down Manhattan.  It's that the hysterical right just looks dumb tearing into Mamdani for things like, no shit, not knowing Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind." Trump has threatened to cut federal funding to the city if Mamdani is elected. Do you know how cool all this makes him look to young voters? Yes, you old fucks, keep shitting on joy.

Above all else, Mamdani looks like he's having fun, and that's gotta be pissing off everyone from worthless corporate Democrats who refuse to endorse him to Fox "news" hosts to self-fellating podcasters. A big hip-hop lover, he's kicking it with the Wu-Tang Clan. He's DJing at gay dance clubs. He held a fuckin' scavenger hunt for supporters. The campaign expected 500 participants. They got thousands of people showing up. It's just a blast to watch this all unfold.

When he wins on Tuesday, Democrats everywhere should be studying Mamdani's refusal to play by the Democratic consultant rulebook. They should understand that this is the motherfucking future. People want a politician who is a whole human being, not a talking points machine, not someone constantly warning us about how shitty things can be, not someone moderating their beliefs to appeal to shitty people. In a time of misery, joy is a weapon and self-assurance is a shield. Use them widely and without apology.

America Is Living in the Trumpian Darkness Now

In the next week or so, multiple food banks in New Jersey will be having a huge grocery distribution event for furloughed and unpaid federal workers in the parking lot at MetLife Stadium, the place where the Giants lose. That's everywhere in America now. The food banks are bracing for the massive surge in need when Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program benefits run out at the end of the month because of the government shutdown. When SNAP is gone, millions of families will face what one NJ food bank official called "No Meal November." People will starve, including kids. That's America now. Add to that the cost of health insurance as much as doubling for those in the Affordable Care Act Marketplace due to the end of tax credits that reduced premiums, and we will have many more sick and starving families very, very soon. That's America now. 

Meanwhile, in Chicago, untrained Immigration and Customs Enforcement goon squads are using tear gas to terrorize neighborhoods, including one that was about to have a children's Halloween parade this weekend. The goons are violently swarming homes and businesses and streets, all to arrest people for the misdemeanor of being in the United States without proper documentation. Chicagoans have organized so that they try to block ICE or blow whistles to warn others that they might be rounded up and torn from their families. Kids in schools are afraid their parents will be gone; parents are afraid their teenagers will be disappeared. That's America now, and it's happening everywhere, sometimes with the help of National Guard troops, and it was has the blessing and frothing encouragement of the president and the majority of Congress.

Meanwhile, the U.S. military is building up its forces in the Caribbean and off Venezuela, with an aircraft carrier carrying advanced bomber jets, ships carrying forces for land invasions, and many, many more ships, vehicles, and troops, readying for a ground and air attack on Venezuela and likely Colombia. It is, frankly, madness, and it's the prelude for what seems like an expansive view of US hegemonic power in the region, wielded violently and harshly. Apparently, Trump is going to meet with congressional leaders to tell them about his war plans when he returns from Asia, and the GOP members are fine with putting troops in harm's way because of delusions about drug cartels, regime change, and, let's face it, oil. That's America now. All this is occurring as the US continues to drone missile boats in the same seas, murdering people without charge or trial, under completely unproven suspicion of carrying drugs for cartels, as if Trump was tired of "the drug war" not being a shooting war. That's America now.

Meanwhile, the Republican-run Congress has ceded all of its constitutional authority to Trump, allowing him to do whatever he wants with funding that Congress passed, depriving states of infrastructure spending, depriving schools and institutes of research funding, depriving so many others of money they were budgeted and expecting. Trump today called himself "the speaker and the president," meaning that Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is, at best, a marginalized figure, and, at worst, Trump's enthusiastic semen depository. The shutdown is happening because Republicans refuse to restore funding for Medicaid and Medicare that was cut in their savage recent bill and refuse to continue those ACA tax credits, and Democrats in the Senate won't allow a vote on those principles. But it doesn't matter, really, what funding is passed because Trump can simply cancel or redistribute funding under the broad banner of "national security" and his enthusiastic semen depository won't even squeak about it. That's authoritarianism in its purest form, when all power rests in a single dictatorial figure, and that's America now.

Meanwhile, we are waiting for myriad cases making their way through the judicial system on everything from deportations to tariffs to the extortion of universities and law firms to reach the corrupted Supreme Court. Almost certainly, the radical right-wing majority will go back to its obscenity of a decision in Trump v. United States and restate that the only actual check on a president is for the Legislative branch to impeach and remove the president and that otherwise Trump can wage lawless warfare on the American people and the world as much as he wants. And, well, the aforementioned semen depository won't budge on impeachment. That's America now.

On and on this could go, with the attacks on medical science and food safety and education and so much else, the gutting of everything that made America America, the reduction of this country to a shadow of itself in less than a year, a diminution that will continue as we face, quite literally, starvation, war, and disease. We are in dark, dark times. That needs to be acknowledged. We are in a great deal of trouble, and waiting and hoping that somehow the 2026 midterms will bring us back to the light is putting a great deal of faith in a system that hasn't been able to prevent any of this from happening so far. 

I know you're waiting for the happy part, the part where I tell you that we need to just keep marching like we did last weekend (which was absolutely a good thing), but that's not going to be enough. I don't know what the next steps are. The wealthy and powerful people who could speak up are afraid of Trump turning his government against them, afraid of his MAGA idiot hordes coming for them. Yes, there are some Democrats putting up a fight, and it's great when Democrats have decent messaging, which they often don't. But it just seems like flea farts in a hurricane. If I were to offer any idea, it would be a general strike, but I'm sure they're hoping for that so they can call it an "insurrection" and unleash the military on us. Mostly, I'm writing this to have a marker of where we are right now, to say, "This is how dark it is now. You want it darker?" (Yeah, I know, it's a Leonard Cohen line.)

Yeah, I know I haven't mentioned the destruction of the East Wing of the White House, although it's perhaps more important historically that the East Colonnade, which dates back to Thomas Jefferson, was razed. That's because, at this point, the symbolism is so thuddingly obvious that it's embarrassing. We are a shameful nation, but we are led by the brazenly shameless, and they don't care what they wreck as they turn this America into their golden ballroom where there are only those dancing and those serving the dancers as the world outside the gilded walls burns from fires they started. That's America soon.