Haiku Review of 2025: One Haiku After Another

What a motherfucker of a year this was. I mean, seriously, it's like this year took all the mothers, lined them up, and fucked them one after the other, tossing a fucked mother aside as it moved on to fuck the next one. Just nothing but day after day of brutality and hatred and ignorance and more hatred and violence and more hatred and egomania and more hatred and you get the idea. You were there. The only thing we've got is that we went through it all together. And, like we do every year in this rude joint, we memorialize the fuckery with the simple yet poignant and/or pointed poetic form of the haiku. 

And now you can submit yours. 

The deal is the same as it ever was. I'm a stickler for the form: three lines of 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again. But the subject is wide open. Be serious, be stupid, be your incredible or fucked up you. Email them to rudepundit@yahoo.com. Whichever ones make me laugh or make me cry or get me all hot and throbbing or some combination of two or three of those will be published on the blog. I'm the only judge here, and I'm probably high right now, so no insult if you don't get in. 

Give it a title. And include some name and place, like "Teresa from Measlestown, AR" or  or "Suck My Immigrant Balls from NY" or "Markie in Austin" (adios, English Teacher, the funniest show no one watched). 

Lemme show you how it's done:

Except to Erika's Bank Account

Charlie Kirk poisoned

The hearts of young people and

His death meant nothing

You Can't Tell ICE from the Regular Criminals

One day, someone will

Kill a masked man trying to

Kidnap their mother.

Interview with a Worm

Lemme warn you all:

RFK's skull is empty

And I starved to death

Ode to Trump Voters

You fuckers did this.

You earned the pain you'll suffer

Before we save you.

And away we go. Flood my inbox with the effulgence of your creative minds.