If you spend a decent chunk of your precious life closely following and chronicling the often egregious fuckery of American politicians, you get used to a certain level of madness and stomach-turning betrayals of Everything We Stand For. You stare dead-eyed monsters in the face and call them out for being vicious, vile vacuums of humanity. You dare to load your mind with the myriad ways that decent and indecent people end up fucking everyone over. Shit that would surprise others is just another day for you. "Oh, we were lied into another war? Sounds like us."
Lemme put it this way: you might have heard about ballmaxxing and been shocked by it, as in "Holy fuck, you mean there's a thing where men inject fluid into their nutsack to make it look huge?" Yeah, that's weird. And it was weird back in 2009 when I wrote about the practice then called "scrotal infusion" and said that it's an apt metaphor for the Bush administration. I'm not gonna explain. Click and read, motherfuckers, click and read. So, really, my response to the current ballmaxxing discourse is a muted sigh.
Now, if you told me that there's something called "bombballing" where men decide to surgically fill their scrotums with small explosives and try to fuck intensely so one of them blows up because they'll cum so hard it makes them shit themselves, then I'd likely have more of a "Whoa. Ouch. What the fucking fuck?" reaction.
What I'm trying to say here is that so much of what is done by President Donald Trump, who answers the question "What if an overgrown Oompa-Loompa, but on bath salts?", enrages me, but it's not breaking my brain because mostly I think, "Of course. It's Donald fucking Trump. What did you expect? Grace and dignity?" But this motherfucking IRS "settlement" (in that it's not a "settlement" because no court anywhere would ever sign off on this corrupt garbage) is bombballing to me.
Start with the unfathomably indecent addendum, where Trump, his family, their companies, and anyone or anything tangentially related to those ("without limitation") are given a free ticket to commit as many federal tax crimes as they like because the United States is "FOREVER BARRED and PRECLUDED from prosecuting or pursuing, any and all claims, counterclaims, causes of action, appeals, or requests for any relief, including injunctive relief, monetary relief, damages, examinations or similar or related reviews, appeals, debt relief, costs, attorney's fees, expenses, and/or interest, whether presently known or unknown, that - as of the Effective Date of the Settlement Agreement - have been or could have been asserted by Defendants [the IRS]."
Look at that shit, force fucked into existence by Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, who is so devoid of a soul that the Devil didn't even bother to buy it. What blows my mind here is the idea that any future crimes by Trump, by Eric, by Ivanka's kids, by all their friends, by Barron's great grandkids' great grandkids cannot be investigated, audited, or prosecuted by the IRS forever. That's telling the law to go fuck itself sideways with a chainsaw. That's taking the Constitution, wiping your ass with it, and using it to set a pile of American flags on fire so you can cook some bald eagles. It's the kind of deal that supervillains dream of and then laugh about because it's utterly impossible for it to be real. But that's how fucked our government is right now. That's the deal that it made with itself for no reason other than Donald fucking Trump wanted it.
It's the ultimate expression of the Trump grievance machine, where everyone is out to get him and his shitty family, where he's merely an innocent victim of "lawfare" and "weaponization" of the law, terms that are completely devoid of meaning when Trump himself sued CBS for editing an interview in a way he didn't like and sues everyone all the time for the merest slight. He's a sue-happy bitch, and some judge should slap the shit out of him and his attorneys for filing frivolous lawsuits.
Gonna stop here for today. I'll do more tomorrow on the monetary side of things, which is really about who has free speech in this devolved nation. But this is beyond any scandal we've ever seen. And any elected official who is okay with it needs to be whipped into the political hinterlands.
