Today, in his "interview" (if by "interview," you mean, "a psychotic head trip into a soulless abyss") with Kristen "I'm not a reporter, but I play one on TV" Welker on Meet the Press, President Donald Trump repeatedly told the average American to kiss his gargantuan ass. Time and again, offered a chance to provide comfort, reassurance, or any measure of empathy, Trump's answer was, essentially, "Everyone can fucking kiss my gigantic ass. Just plant your lips on it. There's more than enough room for all you suckers and losers."
You might have heard about the moment that he said that children can go fuck themselves. He insisted, repeatedly, creepily, that an 11-year-old "beautiful baby girl" doesn't need to own more shit. "I'm just saying they don't need to have 30 dolls. They can have three. They don't need to have 250 pencils. They can have five," he said in response to questions about the effect of his tariffs. Later, pressed again on this point, he added, "We don't need to feed the beast." Now, I'm no fan of people being materialist assholes, but what the ever-loving fuck is he talking about? If a Democrat, like, say, Bernie Sanders, had ever said something as remotely anti-capitalist as this, the red feathers would have been tarred on them immediately by the GOP as they screeched about "Marxism" and "Communism" and probably Hunter Biden's laptop because, fuck it, they always do. It's the Benghazi of email servers.
(And, by the way, 30? 250? Those are pretty precise fucking numbers. I'm betting someone's the dickhead grandpa bitching about all the things his grandkids have.)
Beyond that, look at the absolute disdain wrapped up in what he's saying. "You must do without," Trump's saying. "You must have less so that Elon Musk and I and all our billionaire friends can have more because fuck you. Fuck you for not being a billionaire. Now shut the fuck up before I limit it to two dolls and three pencils."
That kind of abject hatred of people who have to make do with less than a gold toilet ran through the interview. When Welker brought up prices rising on basic things, like "Tires, strollers, some clothing," Trump found the idea ridiculous. "When you say strollers are going up, what kind of a thing? I'm saying that gasoline is going down. Gasoline is thousands of times more important than a stroller or some place?" Well, yes and no. A lot of people need strollers, which he'd know if he ever took care of a child. And he's lying about gasoline.
Welker asked Trump if he would consider tariff relief for small businesses, and he scoffed. No, really, he scoffed, "Why do you always mention that. You know, you pick up a couple of little businesses. What about the car business?" Later, he said that he doesn't need to help small businesses because, through the magic of tariffs, they will make more money than they ever have. It's like he realized he said, "I don't give a shit about small business owners. How much money did they ever give me?" and had to throw them the bone of profiting in some undefined future when we have The Greatest Economy Ever.
It's not that Trump was telling Americans, "Let them eat cake." It's that he's telling us all the cake is for him and we can go fuck our selves if we don't like watching him stuff it down his gaping maw. Welker asked him about the price tag for his upcoming celebration of his tiny dick, the military parade he's forcing the armed services to do on his birthday. Like a toddler looking at dump truck toys, he responded that the cost is "Peanuts compared to the value of doing it. We have the greatest missiles in the world. We have the greatest submarines in the world. We have the greatest army tanks in the world. We have the greatest weapons in the world. And we're going to celebrate it." Yeah, to the tune of around $45 million. Trump take cake.
"Fuck you, America" was the theme of the interview, just like it's the fuel that's powering this cursed administration. When Welker asked him, simply, straightforwardly, if he, as president, has to uphold the Constitution, Trump said, "I don't know." So Trump just said something that was so basic, so traitorous, that every American should be calling for his removal from office or the fuckin' guillotine. And he's such a little bitch about everything, constantly saying that shit is up to "the lawyers," as if he's not the goddamn president of the fucked United States. Man up and give an opinion, you dumb motherfucker.
Later in the bullshit interview, he left open whether or not he could run for a third term, which, you know, he can't unless there's an amendment to the Constitution. But he simply can't bring himself to say that he's term-limited because it would slow the fucking grift, like his "Trump 2028" hats. Trump said more legitimately anti-American shit on Meet the Press than Fidel Castro on a rum bender. Fuck, Castro's ghost was probably looking up from Hell thinking, "Oh, I wish I'd thought of that" before being sodomized with a giant lit cigar again.
This post could go on for another couple thousand words about the sheer abundance of ways that Trump demonstrated that he's an evil moron bent on the destruction of the country. But lemme finish with one more giant "Fuck you" to us all. Walking through Trump's whorehouse chic Mar-a-Lago shithole, Welker got Trump to talk about his future plans for his other residence. "We are going to make and build a ballroom, which they’ve wanted for probably a hundred years at the White House. And it’ll be a world-class, beautiful ballroom," he bragged. Now, the East Room has been used for dances and banquets and shit, but Trump wants to build a $100 million expansion to pimp out the joint like the aforementioned brothel.
Trump says, at first, that he will pay for it. But then he adds a comment that gives the game away: "Yeah, I'm not going to ask the government for money. I'll fund it, and I'm sure we'll have some donations to it. But it's not an inexpensive thing. It'll cost a lot of money."
He's gonna get a ton of bribe-donations to make his garish, loud, permanent impact on the seat of power. It will be corruption at levels we've never seen before, except for all the times Trump has done it. And no one will do a thing about it because fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck all of us.
