It Wasn't Just Sharks. The Rest of That Trump Speech Was Batshit, Too.

When rapist and convicted felon Donald Trump spoke at a heat stroke-inducing rally in Las Vegas on Sunday, his teleprompter was fucking up and he was forced to go almost totally off the cuff. A wiser man might have read from a prepared speech, a printout of which was no doubt available to him. But Donald Trump is not a wise man. He's a goddamned idiot who thinks that every word he pisses out is like a fuckin' sermon from Jesus himself. And his followers are willing to go to the hospital to get sprayed with his incoherent streams and declare them showers of gold. 

Surely, you have heard about how Trump told some fake fuckin' story about asking an obviously confused boat maker about electrocution by boat battery in the ocean or getting eaten by sharks, as if that's something that anyone has ever had to decide ever or ever would have to decide. In the non-Trumpian, real world, that would be enough to have him led back to a home for the elderly and have him sat in front of a TV playing Fox "news" and giving him a double scoop of ice cream filled with Xanax to keep him calm. 

You've heard the story discussed as more evidence of his decline into gibberish. But you haven't really heard about the rest of the speech. And that's a shame because it's equally deranged, ranging from What-the-fucking-fuck moments to utter dickishness to tangents upon tangents within tangents that demonstrate an inability to coherently keep to a point. Lemme give you a few examples.

Early on, Trump declared that President Biden's shift on immigration is "bullshit," which made the idiot horde of 6900 overheated MAGA blobs chant, "Bullshit!" over and over. Trump responded, "Wow, that’s turning out to be like deplorable. Remember deplorable, when Hillary said deplorable? She said deplorable. And that was not good. That was not a good word to use. This word seems to be catching on a little bit, but in a much more positive way than deplorable. That was not good. She actually said deplorable and irredeemable. Do you remember? And I heard it, and I said, 'Wow, that irredeemable is really a bad word,' and it didn’t catch on. What caught on was deplorable. So what the hell do I know about politics, right?" Hillary Clinton was invoked at least four times in the speech, like a hit song that he had to play, even though she has nothing to do with this current presidential cycle. 

Trump is obsessed with degrading Biden's physicality because it's just so obvious that Biden's in better shape than whatever amorphous gelatin sack he is under his terrible-fitting suits. I mean, this is some jealous bitch shit: "If this guy just, you know he goes to the beach all the time. Somebody thinks he looks good in a bathing suit; I don’t think so. And he has that little chair that weighs about seven ounces. It’s meant so children can lift it and very old people can lift it."

He kept bringing up how fucking hot it was, and he was just an asshole about it: "And now, by the way, it’s 110, but it doesn’t feel it to me, right? So we’ll stay out here for a little while. If anybody gets tired, you’ll let me know. And if anybody goes down, if you start going down, we have people, they’ll pick you up right away. They’ll throw water. They were so worried. Everybody was so worried yesterday about you, and they never mentioned me. I’m up here sweating like a dog. The Secret Service said, 'We have to make sure everyone’s safe.' I said, What about me? 'Oh, we never thought of that.' They don’t think about me. I’m working my ass off. I’m working hard. This is hard work." No, motherfucker. Talking for an hour when you could have fucking canceled the whole event isn't hard work. It's being a narcissistic prick who couldn't stand to not have a chance to prance around a stage in front of fawning fucknuts, even if it's miserable out. 

Here's a new Trump fact, which means "fucking lie" to most of us: "Virtually 100% of the new jobs under Biden have also gone to illegal aliens. Did you know that? 100%. And these people, are so bad they will correct me when I say 100%. 100% of the new jobs have gone to illegal aliens. Can you believe it? And that’s where we are." I have no clue where he got this other than from his infected ass. Suffice to say, if this were the case, wages would not be rising, among other real world implications. It's just a fucked thing to assert.  

Okay, see if you can follow this train of thought. This is not edited at all. I mean, kudos for returning to the subject at hand - immigration - but what the fuck, man? "That border is so meaningless. They just walk right through. They go right through the so-called border states, and they end up in Iowa. They end up in Idaho. Remember when Joe said it’s great to be in Idaho? And he was in Iowa. He always does that. If I ever did that, it would be over. They’d say that’s the end of his political career. He’s cognitively impaired. Oh, no, no. I had a second test. I aced it. I aced both of them. Not easy to ace. Biden should have a cognitive test, number one. They say it’s unconstitutional. That’s a good excuse. He should have a cognitive test. And before the debate in two weeks, he should take a drug test because I’m willing to take one. So Nevada’s being turned into a dumping ground, and you are." That's not even the worst of his flights of insanity. 

He also called Special Counsel Jack Smith a "dumb son of a bitch" and said that the first thing he'd do in office is eliminate the tax on tips for service industry workers and that the first thing he'd do in office is close the border. In one incredibly incoherent ramble, Trump started on electric cars, then veered into Roger Penske's success at the Indianapolis 500, then veered into his generals and his "defeat" of ISIS, then veered into bitching about the teleprompter and how people accuse him of not paying people, then veered into the "stolen" 2020 election, then veered into how much he gets in campaign donations, then veered into his indictments, then veered into how dumb he thinks Biden is and how Biden supposedly stole more records than he did, then veered into the whole electric boats and sharks thing, then veered into trans women in women's sports, then veered into more about the border, then veered back to the difference between electric and hybrid cars, then veered into how China executes drug dealers (and maybe users - the policy in his telling was unclear), then veered into being upset that he's mocked for how he walks on stairs before mocking Joe Biden's age, then veered into...

I'm not making this up. And apparently this oblivious, incomprehensible stream-of-consciousness is how he talked to congressional Republicans today, where not a one said an on-the-record negative word.

Again, it needs to be said that, yes, Joe Biden is an old man. But he is not completely disassociated from reality like Trump so obviously is. And that point needs to be hammered again and again. It's not just that Trump's a danger because he'll become a dictator. It's that he's dangerous because he's too out of it to be a real dictator and the competent fascists will be running the joint.