6/09/2024

Conservative Plans for a Next Trump Presidency Are Dumb and Frightening

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The nutzoid right-wing Heritage Foundation (motto: "Putting 'White' before 'Heritage' would be too obvious") has this thing called Project 2025, which is a bunch of extremist lunatics saying that a next Trump presidency would be a "unique opportunity for conservatives to start undoing the damage the Left has wrought and build a better country for all Americans in 2025." In other words, rawdogging democracy and freedom until they're festering with fascist syph. 

They've created an 887-page (no, really) guidebook of the MAGA hell that they want to ensue if the Retrumpening comes to fruition. Titled Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise, it's nothing less than a complete tearing down of the modern government and rebuilding it in the image of the worst motherfuckers who appear on Steve Bannon's shitty podcast of doom. It's filled with all kinds of fuckery, from firing long-term civil servants and replacing them with MAGA-certified drones to fucking up the climate even more to destroying anyone who even breathes about diversity to way more. Again, it's 887 pages of this shit. 

And some of it gets downright weird. 

For instance, I don't know why pornography shows up in this at all. But it fucking well does: "Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance, is not a political Gordian knot inextricably binding up disparate claims about free speech, property rights, sexual liberation, and child welfare. It has no claim to First Amendment protection. Its purveyors are child predators and misogynistic exploiters of women. Their product is as addictive as any illicit drug and as psychologically destructive as any crime. Pornography should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered."

Putting aside that transgender porn is still a fairly small niche category compared to, say, cis het cream pies, the obvious questions are what is porn and who gets to decide. Right now, actual adults are screaming about a bare ass in a kid's book and calling it "porn," which definitely says more about the accuser than it does about the author or librarian. But if a town decides that naked butt cheeks in Dr. Seuss is the same as a 69ing rim job, then the school librarian would have to be considered the same as a rapist or a public masturbator, which is really what all this is anyways. And what about Matt Gaetz going around and showing nude photos of women he's fucking? That seems porn-y, too. He took the photos, so he has to go to prison, which, well, okay, I'm actually good with that. But only for Matt Gaetz. It's just a fucking weird thing to have in your encyclopedic manifesto of how repressive you want shit to be when the presumed leader of this fucked, you know, porn stars.

I promise you that I haven't read the whole thing because it's just deranged. It's like a teen incel's attempt at political shitposting: "The next conservative President must make the institutions of American civil society hard targets for woke culture warriors. This starts with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity ('SOGI'), diversity, equity, and inclusion ('DEI'), gender, gender equality, gender equity, gender awareness, gender-sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and any other term used to deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists." What the ever-fucking fuck? The word "gender" deprives people of their First Amendment rights? These pricks are just angry that they got Bs in their freshman sociology classes.

It's all there, all the bullshit they've been spouting for years, decades even, like the wishlist of a deranged monster built from parts of Reagan, W, and Trump. Get rid of the Department of Education. Close the border. Fire anyone who even smells like DEI or ESG. Ban abortion. And on and on.

If any left-wing organization put out something like this, it would become the evillest thing every written in the history of forever, the Green New Deal crossed with the Communist Manifesto times The Autobiography of Malcolm X. It would be the only thing talked about on Fox "news" and its devolved descendant networks. They'd call it "P25" or something that sounds sinister and Deep State-ish, like a cabal of blood drinkers and child fuckers are creating a wormhole to a nightmare plain of existence. Every single Republican would be bringing it up every chance they had, and the febrile media, desperate to remain relevant, would ask every Democrat where they stand on P25. 

And what I don't fucking get is why Democrats don't do that right now to Republicans. Why don't they quote shit like "Because liberal states have now become sanctuaries for abortion tourism, HHS should use every available tool, including the cutting of funds, to ensure that every state reports exactly how many abortions take place within its borders, at what gestational age of the child, for what reason, the mother’s state of residence, and by what method" and use that to say how Republicans want to come after women for getting abortions in other states? Why don't they quote how NOAA is "a colossal operation that has become one of the main drivers of the climate change alarm industry and, as such, is harmful to future U.S. prosperity" and "The preponderance of its climate-change research should be disbanded"? 

It's all fucking nuts, and it's all there in an unwieldy dream journal of future fascists of America. We should make it the new CRT. Whenever people hear "P25," they should cringe. And, as ever, we have the benefit of telling the truth about this insanity, unlike the abject liars we're attacking.

(Seriously, come sign up for the Patreon. I dive into speeches and court cases and other documents. I explore the fuckery of right-wing online groups, as well as members of Congress. And sometimes I just wanna tell a goddamn story. It's extra rudeness every week.)