3/10/2024

The State of the Union is, Finally, "Eat Shit, Republicans"

One of my greatest worries in Joe Biden becoming president was that he "believes that his capacity to forgive and forget with Republicans is an asset" and that he could "work in partnership with Republicans." I said that back in 2019 as one reason that I didn't support him in our innocent, pre-pandemic period. And in his previous State of the Union in 2023, that Joe Biden was still on display as he praised vile hate-goblin Mitch McConnell and said, "To my Republican friends, if we could work together in the last Congress, there is no reason we can’t work together in this new Congress," adding multiple pleas for such unity of purpose.

Well, something shook loose because the President Biden who delivered the 2024 State of the Union last week was fucking done trying win over the savages on the GOP side. And, amid the right-wing commentariat's hand-wringing about how "political" and "angry" Biden's speech was, there was an air of "oh, fuck" to their typical nonsense. Some of that "oh, fuck" came from Biden's display of energy, which threw them off their game of endlessly calling Biden "sleepy" or "weak." Over on Fox "news," Sean  Hannity, who always looks like he's about to burp up a little bit of that puppy he ate, hilariously said Biden's speech was "frightening" and called Biden "Jacked-Up Joe" because "he sounded like a hyper-caffeinated, angry old man." Frankly, "Jacked-Up Joe" is an awesome nickname. Nutzoid right-wing spoogesock the Washington Times got a doctor to say that Biden had to be on Adderall to have that much energy. (This same psychiatrist told paper in 2021 that "parents are losing their teens...to the influence of teachers, peers and social media pushing political agendas," so, really, she's just there to polish the bullshit the Washington Times craps out.)

But the other thing that must have shocked the GOP and sure as hell surprised me and a great many more on my side of the political stadium was that Biden finally seems to have realized that every single time he reached his hand across the aisle, the gnarled orange claw of the 21st-century Republican Party raked its talons across his flesh. He didn't even mention McConnell this time, even though that gargoyle is stepping down as leader of the Senate Republicans after the election. The final straw for Biden with the GOP sure seems to have been the deal on the border that would have also included funding for Ukraine's war with Russia. Yes, he asked Trump to "join me in telling the Congress to pass it," but that was after he condemned congressional Republicans for bowing to Trump's demand to kill a bill that they had negotiated so he doesn't lose the border and racist attacks on migrants as issues he can bitch about incoherently in his hysterical, bizarre campaign rants. Biden had given the GOP nearly everything it fucking wanted and one word from a soon-to-be broke rapist and they drop everything. Man, that had to piss Biden off. 

Sure, Biden's willing to work with Republicans. He'll use the well-worn "my Republican friends," even if it sounds kind of facetious now. But he's obviously fucking sick of the chicanery and, well, the malarkey coming from a party that supports an anti-American rapist for president. "Not one of your Republican buddies voted for it," he said about the bill that lowers prescription drug costs. While he didn't go as far as I would have liked, he did call out Republicans who take credit for funding from the infrastructure and other bills that go to their districts, saying, "I noticed some of you who’ve strongly voted against it are there cheering on that money coming in," twisting the shiv with "And if any of you don’t want that money in your district, just let me know." I had wanted him to name GOP members and what they now pretend that they got for their constituents. And he's not even disguising his hope for 2024: "Send me a Congress that supports the right to choose," Biden said, meaning, quite clearly, tell the Republicans to eat shit and get the fuck out the way. 

As for whether or not the speech was "partisan" or like a campaign rally, as much as he took credit for his successes and praised those who voted for them, as much as he baited Republicans for ignoring reality and sucking Trump's dick as if his jizz is their only source of protein (and, within that sticky metaphor, it pretty much is), Biden barely mentioned the Democratic Party. Sure, sure, the implication was there, much like pointing at your pussy carries the implication that you want to get eaten out (or have a medical issue - it's context dependent, of course). But it wasn't over the top, like Trump giving Rush Limbaugh a goddamn medal at his last (fuck, I hope) State of the Union. Yeah, that really fucking happened. Hell, I wish Biden had been more partisan because one party gives a shit about the future of the country and the other wants to destroy democracy and turn us over to white Christian fascists.

One more thing probably fucked with the heads of the Republicans there, as well as their media partners in crime. It was reported that feckless House Speaker Mike Johnson, who always looks like he's wondering if he remembered to feed that tween boy he keeps in a pit in his basement, told his caucus to have "decorum" and not be braying asses at the speech, but asses will bray. I think animals like Marjorie Taylor Greene believed if they kept yelling shit out at Biden that they'd throw the doddering, ancient man they believe he is off his game. But it not only didn't work, it showed that Biden could think on his feet. He could pick up their shit and throw it back at them. And he looked like he was having fun at times while doing it. Of course he stumbled a bit. He's an 81 year-old with a stutter. Fuck, I hope I'm that coherent if I make it to that age. 

And the cherry on this fuckin' sundae that we got on Thursday was the absolute shitshow of a performance of Alabama Senator and mom most likely to be murdered by her children Katie Britt. Her Republican response to Biden's speech was totally overwrought and tone deaf, giving off Big Karen Energy.  She lied about a rape victim and blanket condemned everything Biden. Of course, even as she intensely spat, "His reckless spending dug our economy into a hole and sent the cost-of-living through the roof" (which, no, that's not what caused inflation), she sure as fuck doesn't seem to have a problem with Alabama getting billions of dollars in projects for roads, water, and high-speed internet for rural areas. Her fellow Republican senator from Alabama, Tommy Tuberville, who also voted against the infrastructure bill, tweeted, "Great to see Alabama receive crucial funds to boost ongoing broadband efforts." Just the dumbest motherfuckers are elected from that state.

So, yeah, it was a big fucking sigh of relief over here in Democratville. But it was more than that. It was a sign that this fight is not going to be as hard as we thought it might be. It's going to be tougher than it should be, sure, because we have too many dumbfucks in this country. But we don't have to keep making excuses for Biden. We don't have to keep saying that Biden's slowed down but he's still a better leader than Trump. No, goddamnit. We get to say, "Fuck, yeah, look at the old bastard go," like watching an octogenarian complete the Boston Marathon. We can support him without compensating. Hell, yeah.