8/25/2023

Two Extra Depressing Moments from the Republican Debate of the Damned

1. Honestly, the conservadouche Fox "news" moderators, Bret Baier and Martha MacCullum, could have phrased things differently at the first debate of the future losers of the Republican nomination for president on Wednesday night in Milwaukee. Baier asked for a show of hands in answer to the question, "If former President Trump is convicted in a court of law, would you still support him as your party’s choice?" He might as well have asked, "If President Trump wanted you to come to his prison cell and suck his dick, would you?" The response would have been the same, with fast-talking, bright-toothed, empty-headed rich fucknut Vivek Ramaswamy eagerly raising his hand to volunteer that he'd vigorously gobble some orange knob and others joining in to demonstrate how much they want Trump's balls slapping their chins with pathetic, shouty worm Ron DeSantis and America's mopiest stepdad Mike Pence grudgingly admitting that, yeah, they'd mouth the mushroom. Only sad, hairless scrotum Asa Hutchinson and beach ball with high blood pressure Chris Christie had the nerve to say, "No, get that thing out of my face."

It's not that it's surprising that six out of the eight future losers would say they would support Trump, even if he's a convicted criminal. What were most of them going to do? Say the opposite and tempt Trump's animal packs of voters to flood them with death threats and doxxing? That's fucking frightening, sure. And it's not surprising that most of the half-dozen cowards deflected onto other issues, like accusing Joe Biden or Merrick Garland or Christopher Wray of politicizing law enforcement, as if law enforcement isn't a political entity everywhere and all the time. Between that and pretending to be tough by threatening to disband the FBI or fire someone, it was pathetic. 

What also wasn't surprising but was telling as hell is that not one of those who said they were fine voting for a felon convicted of attempting to overturn an election claimed Trump was innocent. Not one. Even Ramaswamy, who couldn't bend over fast enough for a train of MAGA morons to be run on him, didn't make the case that Trump is innocent, although he came close when he said, "There’s a difference between bad behavior and illegal behavior" to Chris Christie, who called "bullshit" so fast that it winded him. Ramaswamy added, "The fact is that these are politicized indictments and we have to call out the truth," which, again, is not the same as saying that Trump is innocent of the crimes he's accused of. 

It's just fucking depressing that so many Republicans couldn't say, "Fuck no, I'm not voting for a convict." But every single one of the candidates who said they'd vote for a guilty Trump is sure out there pretending to be tough, law and order, no-shit-taken, cop-humping, jail-filling motherfuckers. Every one of them would support going after Wray or Garland or Jack Smith, but, you know, that's not political. 

2. In Milwaukee on Wednesday, it hit 100 degrees with a heat index of 110-120. Schools were closed because of the high temperatures, about 20 degrees above normal. The heat advisory was in effect until 9 p.m., which is when the GOP debate began. The extreme weather this summer meant the question of climate change couldn't be avoided, and Baier and MacCullum didn't ignore it, listing some of the crazy shit that's gone on. 

When asked for a show of hands on who believe that humans cause climate change, DeSantis dickishly put a stop to the activity and called for a "debate" about it before not debating it at all and making some weird remark about needing "to be present" when disaster strikes. Ramaswamy, who, it should be noted repeatedly, is fucking insane, said plainly, "The climate change agenda is a hoax...the reality is more people are dying of bad climate change policies than they are of actual climate change," which is objectively idiotic. Nikki Haley seemed like she was on the verge of saying something compelling but she zigged right over to blaming China and India. 

It was honestly weird to watch the governor of Florida and the former governor of South Carolina not calling out climate catastrophe denialism for the dangerous bullshit it is. Their states are fucked if nothing changes. Haley could have talked about how she started the South Carolina Disaster Recovery Office that also focused on being prepared for the floods and storms and other shit that would be caused by climate change. The others could have attacked DeSantis for having his head so far up his ass on climate change that he's wearing his kidneys like Disney mouse ears. Young Republicans give a shit about this, but the candidates didn't. How in the world can you begin to talk about immigration issues without talking about how climate is affecting migration? 

The world is gonna burn and drown and these putzes are bleating on about getting rid of the Department of Education and how much they wanna bomb Mexico and other foolishness.