Portland Becomes the Testing Ground for the Next Level of Trump Fuckery

Department of Homeland Security Acting Secretary Chad Wolf, who has the douche name and the douchier face stubble of the asshole Wall Streeter who gets punched in the dick by, say, Michael J. Fox in a late 1980s comedy, issued a statement on "the Rampant, Long-Lasting Violence in Portland." The Portland is the one in Oregon, and it's been the site of ongoing protests in the wake of the police execution of George Floyd in Minneapolis in May. In the last couple of nights, they've escalated into confrontations with police and other authorities (get to that in a sec), confrontations that have been provoked by the police and other authorities. For Wolf and DHS and the Trump White House, "Each night, lawless anarchists destroy and desecrate property."

What follows is a list of actions by day on, near, or against federal property, and, gotta tell you, it's just fuckin' embarrassing and overwrought, like trying to hype D-Grade meat as a quality Trump steak. This is really from the DHS doc: 

For three days, apparently anarchists violently spray-painted graffiti. I'm not really sure how you do that. Maybe you scream, "Fuck Trump" as you write that. Maybe you punch the wall. What I'm saying here is that you kind of water down your accusations of violence if you include wanton tagging in the category. Basically, you look like a pussy or a drama queen, which is really the two modes that Trump and his lackeys operate in. 

And even when Secretary Wolf's weak-ass list of alleged crimes gets to more serious stuff, any credibility has been destroyed by the image of the federal government shitting itself before the terrorism of the graffiti artists. Oh, and it's destroyed by the fact that most of it is complete hyperbole. 

Seriously, this is in there on June 7: "Portland Police were forced to deploy crowd control spray to disperse a crowd that was throwing animal seed at officers." The police are dressed head-to-toe in riot gear. Was it animal seed made of bombs? Because otherwise, we're talking extravagant overreaction on the part of the historically racist and violent PPD.

You've gotta go through a whole bunch of fences breached or torn down, fireworks being launched (no, really, like bottle rockets), and a lot more graffiti before you get to something that might make an objective reader think, "Okay, that's bad." Like on July 13: "Violent anarchists continued to assault law enforcement officers with lasers, slingshots and fireworks. Others were armed with sledge hammers, tasers, and stun guns, and dragged flaming debris into the scene." That seems bad. And no doubt there are people in the protests who would like to fuck cops' shit up. 

But if you dig into things, what you see are the cops using fencing and police lines to push protesters onto sidewalks on federal property, for instance, and using that as an excuse to declare a riot, when they go batshit beating people and arresting them. And then they fire tear gas and pepper bombs and they start using this fuckin' thing where they swing a smoking container, like a thurible in Hell.

Or maybe some "violent anarchist" throws a water bottle at the people gassing them, and then that's it. It's go time. 

Of course, then we have the unidentified federal officers, from Customs and Border Patrol, among other agencies, who are disappearing protesters off the streets and into unmarked civilian cars and vans, even when they are not on federal property (which is the only place they should have authority). It's like kidnapping except...no, wait. If they don't say who they are or what you're being arrested for, it's just kidnapping. And here's the deal on the attacks on protesters and the Pinochet-like random arrests: they don't give a fuck who they use the power of the state on. It doesn't matter if you were just down there marching or reporting or even offering medical care. They just want to force obedience and capitulation, preferably through violence. Legit violence, with batons and shit, and not just graffiti violence.

To at least some of their credit, the leaders in Portland and Oregon want the federal marshals and others the fuck out of there. Mayor Ted Wheeler said, "We do not need or want their help. The best thing they can do is stay inside their building, or leave Portland altogether.” The state's congressional delegation is demanding answers. And Governor Kate Brown went right at the real reason the feds are even there: "This political theater from President Trump has nothing to do with public safety. The President is failing to lead this nation. Now he is deploying federal officers to patrol the streets of Portland in a blatant abuse of power by the federal government."

That abuse is represented by the U.S. Attorney in the District of Oregon, who went back to a seemingly never-dry well of blaming Antifa. Billy Williams (seriously, everyone in this story on the Trump side has a punch-my-face-please name) said, "Portland is well known for Rose City Antifa, right? They’ve been around a long time. It’s hard to call it organized. Antifa is known for loosely organized versions of their group … I believe they’re a part of this." Meanwhile, Trump has been crowing about sending in federal officers to Portland because of course he is.

This is scary shit right here. I don't want to be like Chad "Punched Dick" Wolf and blow this up (I've avoided using the term "Gestapo," yet if the overcoat fits...), but when your government feels like it can just snatch you off the street without even the pretext of some kind of official reason, we're into new levels of necessary paranoia. 

And while we're a few steps from needing to find decent-sized attics to hide out in, we're damn far down the list of "they came for," getting preciously close to "me."