Mike Huckabee: "Lawbreaker Kim Davis Is Totally Tits"

Actual Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (campaign slogan: "Ahma eat awl theez heer gritz 'cuz Jeezus tole me to") supports jailed lawbreaker Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who violated a court order to issue marriage licenses to couples, same sex or otherwise. She is being held in contempt, but Huckabee is also demonstrating contempt for education by telling the hick fucknuts who make up his supporters wrong info about how the nation works.

Says Huckabee in a statement today, "Kim is asking the perfect question:  'Under what law am I authorized to issue homosexual couples a marriage license?' That simple question is giving many in Congress a civics lesson that they never got in grade school." You may think, "Um, the law that says you do what courts tell you to do, especially when the Supreme Court said to do it," but you would be happy to have the Devil balls deep in your face, sinning liberal.

He continues, "The Supreme Court cannot and did not make a law.  They only made a ruling on a law.  Congress makes the laws.  Because Congress has made no law allowing for same sex marriage, Kim does not have the Constitutional authority to issue a marriage license to homosexual couples." If you were a fucking dumbass, you'd think that Huckabee's right, goshdarnit. And he is, except for being so wrong. 

Let's explain this so that anyone can explain it to their fuckwit relatives. The law says that two adult people are allowed to get married. If a state carves out an exception to the law, like that two people of the same sex aren't allowed, that is discrimination. The Supreme Court, who, under the Constitution, is in fact made up of unelected judges, said that the law on marriage has to cover everyone equally. That's not making a law. That is making a ruling on the law, which is what Mike Huckabee says they're supposed to do.

But, of course, of course, this is really about the God shit. You can read it all yourself. Huckabee needs to have some reason to exist in this presidential race. Fuck it. This may as well be his Schiavo moment.