Bobby Jindal Writes an Editorial

Gov. Bobby Jindal was in his office in the tall capitol building in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He had his secretary, Zack, seated at his desk, fingers ready on the keyboard of a computer running Windows 8 while Jindal paced the floor. The governor was pondering the best approach to the opinion piece he was about to dictate, one that was going to run in the New York Times, bastion of secular liberalism. He wanted to tell the nation, no, the world that he was standing firm on protecting innocent Christians from abuse by bullying gays. He thought for a moment and then turned to Zack (whose real name was "Mandip," but he had watched Saved by the Bell as a child) and said, "I've made a decision. I'm going to suck all the cocks."

Zack was shocked. "Really?" he asked his boss. "All of them? One or two would be enough."

Jindal stood firm. "Line 'em up. I'm gonna blow every cock around. I'll even wrestle a few away from Christie and Rand and Ted, if I have to, and suck those cocks." He licked his lips. "Let's do this." He smiled, which chilled Zack because when Bobby Jindal grins, he looks like a brown version of the Joker.

Cock after cock entered and exited Jindal's mouth as the governor dictated his editorial. "Large corporations recently joined left-wing activists to bully elected officials," he sucked off. "Political leaders in both states quickly cowered amid the shrieks of big business and the radical left." That cock blew its load and Jindal gobbled it up, his Adam's apple bobbling like a running goat's testicles.

He took another one, deep-throating it, with "We should ensure that musicians, caterers, photographers and others should be immune from government coercion on deeply held religious convictions." Oh, yeah, Jindal thought, shove that cock harder, harder, yeah. And then, sucking like a Dyson struck by lightning, Jindal swallowed, "I hold the view that has been the consensus in our country for over two centuries: that marriage is between one man and one woman. Polls indicate that the American consensus is changing — but like many other believers, I will not change my faith-driven view on this matter, even if it becomes a minority opinion."

As Jindal blew more and more cocks, Zack tried to stop him. "Governor, stop, please, you don't have to suck every cock."

Zack could barely make out Jindal's words through all the cock: "No. I have to. All the cocks." And then he took another one with "The left-wing ideologues who oppose religious freedom are the same ones who seek to tax and regulate businesses out of existence." Zack had to turn away for a moment when Jindal engorged the whole of a giant scabby cock: "Louisiana has become one of the best places to do business in America." Then he almost threw up when Jindal grabbed an elderly, barely hard cock and "Hollywood and the media elite are hostile to our values."

Finally, after so long and so many cocks, Jindal, exhausted, chapped, bloated from semen, said, "Is that it, Zack? Is that all the cocks?"

"No, I think there's one more," Zack said, weeping a little.

Jindal took that last cock in his mouth and attacked it like a dog on a water hose: "Those who believe in freedom must stick together: If it’s not freedom for all, it’s not freedom at all."

Zack wrapped up his typing. He promised Jindal that he'd proofread it and send it off to the Times. The room smelled of cum and sweat and desperation. The governor said he'd go clean up. Maybe brush his teeth and prep his asshole. He had a meeting with Sheldon Adelson's people next.