Trying to Get Inside the Mind of Those Who Need Their "Religious Liberty" Protected:
Let's play dress-up and see if we can all pretend to be a conservative whose religious liberty is being attacked.
Let us say, and why not, that you're a waitress at a 24-hour diner in Mesa, Arizona. It's late at night, like three in the morning, and you're the only waitperson there at that time. Now let us say, and, indeed, why not, that a pair of men in skinny jeans and bright-colored t-shirts come in. They're in a great mood for such a, well, ungodly hour. They have hand gestures that are a bit more vigorous than the usual customers. They're kind of touchy with each other, and one of them has vocal intonations that strike you, as a woman, as being more feminine. You're suspicious they're a homosexual couple, but you don't want to automatically think something so evil about people, especially if a tip on a crappy shift is at stake. They sit at a booth, and you bring them menus and tell them you'll be right back with water. One of the men, the more masculine of the two, says to the other man that he's gotta go to the bathroom, and, as he stands up from the booth, he leans over and gives the other man a peck on the lips. Confirmation, right?
Now let's see here. The Rude Pundit is trying to get into your head. He wants to give you the benefit of the doubt, really, that you're not just a homophobe who uses your faith as a beard so you can hate people different than you. No, no. He's gotta stop that. You're not a pathetic bigot who is no better than the worst kind of racist. You're a religious woman. Your pastor has told you that homosexuality is wrong and affront to God. His words have led you to believe that anything you do to make homosexuals comfortable or happy or welcome is you enabling the continuation of sin. How can you, as a good Christian, do that?
You start to sweat. You know that you could just wait on them and not think about it. But you can't help it. Won't you just be helping to assure that these nice-seeming young men burn in Hell for all eternity? How can that be on your conscience? You shouldn't be in this position. You should be able to clearly tell the homosexuals that your religion prevents you from serving them and that they will have to find late-night pancakes somewhere else, maybe down the road. God should punish Jan Brewer for not giving you the freedom to tell them to take their sodomizing ways and hit the road. Sure, sure, one's sexual orientation isn't protected against discrimination in the state of Arizona (except for a few sinful cities), but you feel like you're on unsteady ground. What will you do? Probably pray for guidance.
Okay. Let's stop there. The Rude Pundit's not sure if this is even close to reality because he hasn't been kicked in the head by the Jesus mule (or the Mohammed mule or the yarmulke-wearing mule). He does know that a lesbian couple in Phoenix was kicked out of a restaurant in 2012 because they kissed. He does know that the moment your worship of whatever invisible sky wizard you choose infringes on his right to exist without the rules of your sky wizard imposed on him is the moment that your religious liberty becomes his oppression.
Here's the deal: You can believe whatever hoodoo you want. Your hoodoo priests can blabber about whatever they think will make your hoodoo gods angry. You can set up your personal life around hoodoo spells and curses. But the second you step out into the public, you enter a realm of people who couldn't give less of a fuck about your hoodoo until you start telling them that you're not gonna give 'em pills they've been prescribed or provide services you advertise you provide. Then your hoodoo becomes our problem.
If you don't want to exist in the secular world, then, fuck it, don't take the secular money. Set up communes and do business with only like-minded people, exchanging goat turds and chicken heads as currency. But you know what, Mr. Baker who doesn't wanna make a wedding cake for a gay couple? You better make sure you're buying all your supplies from businesses that discriminate against LGBT people or you're advancing the gay agenda by purchasing them. You better make sure the roads to your business were built by all straight workers or by driving on them to deliver your cakes only encourages the hiring of gay highway workers. You better make sure that no gay legislator supported a tax cut that might benefit you or you're just taking money out of the sodomizing hands of that queer.
Shut the fuck up, bake the fuckin' cake, and contribute the money to your Church of the Holy Asshole or wherever the fuck you freely exercise your right to worship.
