Here's something the Rude Pundit never wants to hear again: "Most NRA members aren't like Wayne LaPierre," the bespectacled goblin of doom who has been the National Rifle Association's public face for about 300 years now. That's a pussy argument made by people who are deathly afraid of offending someone. LaPierre ain't some dirty cop whose behavior shouldn't make all cops look bad. He's one of the fucking leaders of the organization. (He's not the president - that just went to backwards ass fat country fuck Jim Porter of Fuckmysister, Alabama. And, no, the Rude Pundit doesn't give a happy rat fuck who he really is.) And NRA members are paying LaPierre's salary and travel expenses and hair dye.
LaPierre was in rare froth this weekend at the NRA National Convention (motto: "Check your humanity at the door") in Houston, Texas (motto: "Almost two weeks without a major industrial accident"). He wove the most paranoid fantasies possible. Essentially, in LaPierre's world, there's poor sheep just quivering under their beds, waiting for criminals to find them to rape their asses with illegal guns. And then there's the noble gun owners, ready to shoot the balls off a fly from 1000 paces to defend themselves and their families and their property, dear Christ, don't forget the property. You think that's hyperbole? Then you didn't listen to LaPierre: "Lying in wait is a terrorist, a deranged school shooter, a kidnapper, a rapist, a murderer — waiting and planning and plotting — in every community across this country. Lying in wait right now."
Oh, fuck, the Rude Pundit wants to grind that Grade-A nutsy into a fine powder, freebase that shit, and jack it right into his arm.
The whole thing is just a series of syllogisms for people who hate logic (Obama is from Chicago, crime is bad in Chicago, ergo Obama is responsible for the high crime rate in Chicago), gruntings that a deranged bonobo would think are meaningless ("no matter what it takes, we will never give up or compromise our constitutional freedom — NOT ONE SINGLE INCH!"), and promises to personally shit down the throat of any politician that dares speak against the great and glorious NRA.
If that's the leader of the organization you belong to, if that's what your cash money is going to defend, then fuck you - you are the NRA, you are Wayne LaPierre's bitch, and you better love the taste of his dick in your mouth.
The Rude Pundit received a letter from a rude reader this week talking about 19 year-old whose father she knew. The dad had just bought the kid a gun. "[H]e was showing it off to friends and it went off, shot him in the head and killed him," she told the Rude Pundit. She directed the Rude Pundit to the kid's Facebook page. Let's just leave this screencap here without much comment except to say that this poor teenager bought the NRA bullshit hook, line, and sinker (and the Rude Pundit has deleted his name to respect some privacy). And it didn't stop him from getting shot dead because, well, guns kill people.
Note: The Rude Pundit hasn't been able to find a news story about the shooting, but he did see the FB tribute page, the obituary, and the funeral home page for the deceased.
Update: Here's a story from a local news website.
