9/26/2012

The Existential Uselessness of Discussing the Mitt Romney Campaign Anymore:
The Rude Pundit has run out of words to describe the utter failure of Mitt Romney as a presidential candidate, as a leader of any sort. The occasion that caused this complete breakdown in the ability to insult or condemn Romney was at a rally yesterday in Vandalia, Ohio (aka "That Strip Mall Town Where Dayton's Airport Is"). Paul Ryan had just finished speaking, and Romney leaped onto the podium and thanked his running mate, which caused the crowd to start chanting, "Ryan" over and over. Romney then really did say, "Now wait a minute. 'Romney/Ryan,' 'Romney/Ryan'" until the crowd apparently switched to that. "There we go," Romney complimented them.

He couldn't let it go? He's that petty? Christ. That's just...oh, fuck, could we please just put three bullets in the skull of this campaign and leave its corpse behind an alley for the rats and rabid dogs to devour its dessicated carrion? Mocking him at this point is not just shooting fish in a barrel. It's using a rocket launcher on it.

There is an unmitigated gloom that now hangs over not just the Romney campaign, but media coverage of the entire race. You can see that despair in the face of everyone on television, in the words of every writer who still has to act as if this is anything but a waste of time until we learn by how much Barack Obama beats Mitt Romney. And the existential despair here is that they - hell, we - are all damned to keep discussing it because there's still over a month left. It's especially keen on CNN, where the anchors and reporters keep up the pretense of balance. You can see the dead stare in Erin Burnett's eyes that says, "Why the fuck are we bothering? Please, let there be a war somewhere that we can be sent to."

On the right, the punditry and reporting ranges from resigned recognition of imminent failure, with a vague hope of stanching the bleed out in congressional races, to desperately hammering away at the same points against Obama because repeating lies has worked so well before. It's pathetic, like watching a wounded seal try to get back to the safety of the shore before the killer whale finishes it off.

On the left, even though champagne corks are shaking in their bottles, that range is from disbelief that it's been this easy to cocky "told-you-so" crowing (guilty as charged). Yeah, there's always that show-off orca that likes to toss around the seal prior to devouring it.

Either way, though, there's truly nothing else to say, not with most swing states now firmly in Obama's camp. Not with Mitt Romney bumble-fucking his way across America, behaving awkwardly, making ads where he sounds like the most sincere used car salesman in history, denying that his greatest accomplishment, Romneycare, would be useful for the rest of the nation. Seriously, what's more important? Having made billions of dollars for millionaires? Or making sure that a mom with lung cancer can be treated like a human being? Romney looks absurd and small.

But all of this is a waste of time. The most desperate on the right will pen simple-minded articles, ranting about how Obama is so godforsakenly awful that Romney will win just because. That's bullshit, and their frantic ululations and blood sacrifices to their awful gods - Reagan, Ayn Rand, and others - demonstrate for all to see that they have nothing but dead virgins to show for their mad rituals at the edge of this exploding volcano.

Really, at this point, barring the discovery of some piece of video where Barack Obama says that he wants to fuck young white girls in front of the Lincoln Memorial, the only thing the President has to worry about with Romney is a surge in the pity vote.