Rudy Giuliani and Republicans Are Goddamned Cowards:
One of the things we often cringe to admit is that the worst stereotypes exist. The loca chica, the gangsta, the asshole Wall Street exec, they all are real. Gay male stereotypes, too. In New York City, you will find every kind of limp-wristed, mincing, lisping queer guy that would give Fred Phelps nightmares (or, more likely, dreams come true). Skinny jeans-wearing twinks, chorus boys who shriek for episodes of Glee, fashion diva queens, and more, all gay in that cartoon way gay haters portray gay men. And nearly every single one of those proudly cocksucking twinks, boys, and queens is more macho than Rudy Giuliani or just about any Republican.

Because you can put money on the fact that the Republicans are bigger pussies about the trials of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and others in New York City than just about any of the good gay guys listed up there. What the fuck happened to the right? The party of Ike and Teddy Roosevelt? What a bunch of Marys they've become in the wake of Eric Holder's announcement that Mohammed would be tried in a federal court in Manhattan. Not only that, but if our justice system sucks so hard, then we should probably do something about that.

Snarled Giuliani on This Week with George Stephanopoulos's Hair regarding the previous successful prosecutions of terrorists in New York, which Giuliani had himself praised, "[W]e also demonstrated that our federal system has an enormously protracted process that's going to go on forever. That it grants more benefits than a military tribunal will grant. There's always the possibility of acquittal, change of venue. And the reality is, George, it also creates an extra risk that isn't necessary. It creates an extra risk for New York."

Mohammed ain't Magneto, nemesis of the X-men. He's not going to use his mutant Islamic powers to melt the chains and blow up the heads of the dozens of snipers around him, all while ululating some sinister shout that'll bring back the dead of the Crusades to liberate him. In other words, this ain't a movie. He's beaten man who'll be spouting crazy blather in hand and ankle cuffs while shitting his diaper who wouldn't even be coming to trial if his case wasn't a done deal, who will be sentenced to death. And if anything happens that could lead to acquittal, he will be taken right back into indefinite detention. In other words, we're not doing this for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He'd over. We're doing it for us.

And then there's the one big aspect that so many on the right are just flat-out fucking wrong about. Here's Giuliani, whose creepy-ass grimace and passive aggressive sneers are just played out, this time on Fox "news" after Chris Wallace asked him about bringing the Gitmo torture victims to New York City: "We generally don't bring people back to the scene of the crime for justice."

No, actually, that is what we do. It's what the Constitution says in the Sixth Amendment: "In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law..." Even if a change of venue is granted, it is usually in an area in reasonable proximity to the scene of the crime. Now, the Rude Pundit may not have a fancy law degree like America's (Most Craven Manwhore Desperate to Cash in on Being) Mayor, but that amendment seems pretty fucking clear.

Giuliani kept making the bizarre assertion that the trials and convictions for the 1993 World Trade Center bombings, which, again, he once said demonstrated how strong America is, were wrong because we didn't predict 9/11 happening (although how another kind of trial would have prevented it is a connection he doesn't make). And he kept saying that Mohammed wants a trial in New York and "I didn't know we were in the business of granting favors to terrorists." Which is like saying that if he asked for water, you'd have to be a total asshole to give it to him. Finally, Giuliani fell back on military tribunals, which are being used for other Gitmo prisoners who attacked the USS Cole. The tribunal system could still be found unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. But, if that happens, then Giuliani would have something else to gnash his painful-looking teeth at.

Still, no one out-wrongs or out-pussies Bill Kristol, and The Weekly Standard editor, who, one should always be reminded, was Alan Keyes's presidential campaign manager, didn't disappoint. Also on Fox, he repeated what is becoming a mantra of the right on Mohammed: "There are huge problems with this. These guys were not given their Miranda warnings...[W]here was Khalid Sheikh Mohammed arrested? In Pakistan in a pre-dawn raid. He wasn't read his rights."

Oh, calm down, Nancy. Mohammed was captured in Pakistan. The most stomach-churningly charitable reading of his torture and treatment for years at Gitmo is that he was like a detained suspect in a crime who is questioned before being formally arrested. That's the whole "enemy combatant" status thing. You can pretty much bet that he'll be Mirandized once he's officially under arrest, if he hasn't already. But, no, don't let that stop another talking point that sounds like it's from an episode of Law and Order: STFU.

We on the left have now become the defenders of law and order by simply saying the rules should be followed. We're the tough guys and they're the fruitcakes. The right has become the cowering wimps who want to toss the rulebook in the shitter when it doesn't suit their game. Put up or shut up, motherfuckers. You don't like what's in the Constitution? Then try to change it. Otherwise, it's goddamned obvious that we're doing what should have been done six or seven years ago.