12/29/2004

Disasters Big and Small:
Maybe if someone informed the President that resorts filled with rich people were involved in the tsunami disaster, he'd be paying more attention. 'Cause, you know, c'mon, this ain't like the Bam earthquake in Iran a year ago, when it was the usual array of screaming vaguely brown people we're used to seeing and shaking our heads at. There were Americans and Europeans involved, and India, proud supplier of talent to outsourcers everywhere, including, as we all know, the Republican Party. Yeah, yeah, Indonesia has its little terrorism problems, but, you know, it also has resorts, filled with Aussies, and they love us, or, you know, their PM does. And, generally, where there's rich people involved, Bush is right out there in front.

But if there's one thing we all know about George Bush, even before Michael Moore made it starkly clear, is that the motherfucker clings to his vacation time like, say, a father holding a child clinged to a palm tree in the Maldives. Sure, sure, we're gonna see him today, when he holds a "teleconference" and makes a "brief appearance" from the ranch, but this is, as all things in this arrogant President's schedule, done grudgingly, only in response to the hue and cry of people who, in this case, wonder why Bush can't take a break from brush clearing and, really, "thinking" to say, in person, "Damn, bitches. This shit sucks for you." When a reporter suggested that "the actual question is whether the people of Asia and those who are suffering from all of this, whether there would be any benefit from seeing and hearing from him directly," Trent Duffy, subbing for Scott McClellan in the spread of lies and misinformation, assured us that the President had "sent letters" of condolence. Howzabout some flowers with that, huh? But we know, from another press gaggle, that Bush is "monitoring" the situation overseas by watching Fox.

Besides, as Duffy added, the President receives a morning briefing, and, in addition, he's "continuing to think about the Inauguration and the State of the Union speech; he's clearing some brush this morning; I think he has some friends coming in either today or tomorrow that he enjoys hosting; he's doing some biking and exercising as he normally does, taking walks with the First Lady; and thinking about what he wants to accomplish in the second term." Now, the Rude Pundit doesn't know about you, but "thinking" seems like a euphemism for "napping." Or "taking a dump." Or "jacking off."

On Monday, the Rude Pundit wondered how long until terrorism was somehow tied to the tsunami. Thanks to a heads up from reader Rosamond, the answer is, well, Monday, when a reporter asked Duffy, "Is there any anti-terrorism component to this? Is the administration concerned about -- that the terrorists might take advantage of the situation?" The proper answer might have been, "Deb, shut the fuck up." Instead, Duffy assured us, "we wouldn't get into any classified types of information, but the American people can rest assured that no matter what happens in the world, that the government will be doing everything it can to protect the American people from terrorism."

God, it's always about us, isn't it? And our insecurities? It's like when you're dating a man who wants you to bandage his stubbed toe when you should be tending to your dying mother.

Meanwhile, the sea keeps vomiting up the dead. The bodies will yield disease. And this long holiday season of suffering goes on.