How To Destroy George W. Bush, Part 4 -- Rip Out His Heart:
This week, the Rude Pundit is trying to drag the Kerry campaign, kicking and screaming, to victory. The DNC and those goddamned 527s (like those terrorists in the National Education Association) are free to partake of the Rude Pundit's wisdom. See, the goal here is to gut George W. Bush the President and the man. Remember: Tim Russert's opinion isn't worth a single hair on the Rude Pundit's nutsack; almost every other pundit is wrong. The Rude Pundit, as we all know by this point, is right.

Today, we bring out the ultimate tool, the one that will wreck the man, the one that will leave George W. Bush quivering on the floor, pissing and shitting himself as he sobs and screams for the Secret Service to bring him Grey Goose and Bolivian blow, the one that will tempt Karl Rove to finally put the bullet in the gun he uses to play fake Russian roulette every night, with his leather slave watching, in the basement of the White House. This one may need to be saved for desperate last days because of the potential to backfire, but all great plans have that chance, do they not? Are you ready? And, once again, George Soros and all those multibill- and megamillionaires, search behind the cushions of your couches 'cause this is gonna cost . . .

It's time for the Kerry campaign to start talking about the Presidency of George Bush. Senior. It's time for the surrogates on the Sunday gabfests to offer measured praise for Bush I. (Yeah, yeah, the Rude Pundit fuckin' hated Poppy then and hates him now, but context is all.) Now, there's the obvious reason to break out the father, the only one that's ever been mentioned, the very real coalition of nations that Bush I put together to fight the Gulf War in 1991. That coalition contributed over 100,000 troops and tens of billions of dollars to the war effort. And, at the beginning of this current Iraq war, there was reference to Bush I's belief that to go into Baghdad would plunge Iraq into chaos and destabilize the Middle East. Check out this speech to Gulf War Veterans in 1999, where Poppy said, "Had we gone into Baghdad -- we could have done it, you guys could have done it, you could have been there in 48 hours -- and then what? Which sergeant, which private, whose life would be at stake in perhaps a fruitless hunt in an urban guerilla war to find the most-secure dictator in the world? Whose life would be on my hands as the commander-in-chief because I, unilaterally, went beyond the international law, went beyond the stated mission, and said we're going to show our macho? We're going into Baghdad. We're going to be an occupying power -- America in an Arab land -- with no allies at our side. It would have been disastrous." These things ought to be in ads.

But there's a great deal more worth (measured) praise. Bush I was a diplomat, a U.N. rep, someone who understood that the value of strong friendships around the world extended beyond the use of armies and weapons. Remember, just as the Vietnam War didn't really end until Ford took office, the Cold War really finally ended while Bush I was the President because the Berlin Wall came down in November 1989. And Bush I had the dignity to not go and stand on the rubble for an image that would be used in political ads. (Yeah, yeah, we know about Bush I and TV ads and what he would stoop to, but, really, and c'mon, stay on topic here.) Why did the Berlin Wall fall without a shot? Because, in part, of Bush I's solid relationship with Mikhail Gorbachev. Because of, well, shit, diplomacy. If the drooling idiots on the right want to compare terrorism and communism, they could at least acknowledge that Eastern European communist nations fell either from internal turmoil or protest, with diplomatic pressure from the outside, not from the big, bad U.S. launching unilateral wars.

And then there's the flip-flop factor. Oh, how George Bush I was the mother of all flip-floppers. A pro-choice moderate Republican who had an overnight conversion to what Lee Atwater, currently featured in the hit show in Hell titled, "Who Wants To Anally Rape Lee Atwater With a Pitchfork?", called "extra-chromosome" conservatism when he was offered the Vice-Presidency. Man, then Poppy learned how to hate old school. Howzabout "Read my lips: No new taxes"? Man, that's gotta be one of the most blatant flip-flops in history. (For a stroll down memory lane, check out this Mike Royko column on the line.) Bush knew, fuckin' knew, that he had to agree with Democrats in Congress to raise some tax rates because Reagan had so fucked the nation. And for that flip-flop, he paid with his Presidency. And for that flip-flop, he at least pointed the country in the direction that Clinton would take us down.

So, how to use this for Kerry's advantage? There's the ads that talk about George Bush I's tenure as President, tearing down walls, not building them. There's the questions for Bush II's surrogates: how do you define flip-flopper? Was Bush I a flip-flopper? Would you have condemned him for changing his mind? Would you have condemned him for being willing to learn through experience?

Ahh, how sweet it would be for such a question to come up at a debate, with Bush II floundering about how we have to stop talking about the past, blah, blah, blah. How he would flashback to his drunken fights with Poppy, threatening to go "mano a mano" with Poppy (maybe one of the great pussy lines of all time), how he would stutter and stammer and that early stages Alzheimer's would force him into long stares down the well of his dark, dark soul as all the failures he's been and ever will be come shrieking out, like so many clawed harpies, to tear at the fabric of his being.

And, voila, we will have destroyed the man.

Destructive tool #4: Use the father against the son.

(Kerry/Edwards campaign, DNC, 527s, want more? You know how to get in touch: rudepundit@yahoo.com.)