1/09/2018

Prove That Trump Isn't a Fucking Moron

Michael Wolff's book Fire and Fury is filled with quotes from people stating, quite simply, that Donald Trump, ersatz president of the United States, is a barely literate dunce. A "fucking moron," if you will. In interview after interview, Wolff has asserted that every single person he spoke with in the White House agreed that Trump is a goddamned dimwit, someone barely able to walk and breathe at the same time, a mental toddler, a shit-for-brains rich puke who dumb-lucked his way through life because his daddy's money kept him...Wait, what was I talking about? Yeah, that's it. He's stupid.

Predictably, whenever anyone says that Trump is not the greatest at something, the administration lickspittles go out in force to say, in essence, "Fuck you, fake news fuckos. I know Trump is the best human who ever existed and I thank God every day that He allowed me to be alive at the same time as Trump." Or words to that effect.

Here's Stephen Miller, a White House Nazi who is just begging for a punch in the dick, shortly before Jake Tapper threw him the fuck off CNN: "The reality is, is the president is a political genius who won against a field of 17 incredibly talented people" and a bunch of other opponents. Miller continued, plucking orange pubes out of his teeth, "And he did it all through the people and through his strategy and his vision and his insight and his experience." Miller's the type of creepy motherfucker who you know jacks it to murder porn. Honestly, Tapper should have grabbed Miller by the scruff of his neck and tossed him into the street like a bouncer with a noisy drunk.

Trump's brain has got other, slightly less odious defenders. CIA Director Mike Pompeo went on Fox "news" Sunday and also pretended that President Dunceface leaves Stephen Hawking in the dust. He declared, "I watched him take the information that the intelligence community delivers and translate that into policies that are of enormous benefit to America...He deals with the most complex issues and has handled them in a way that I have great admiration and respect for." Pompeo also assured us that Trump "reads."

Let's take a page from Trump himself. When questions were created by right-wing nutzoids about whether or not Barack Obama was born in the United States, Trump hounded Obama about producing his birth certificate. The best-known birther in the nation, Trump wouldn't let it go until Obama did finally make the document public. Even then, that wasn't enough for Trump, who fanned the flames of crazy until it no longer served a political purpose for him.

So let's demand that Trump fucking prove that he's not an idiot, that he's actually engaged and understands the issues. That he is "like, really smart" and that he understands tax law better than any CPA or health care as well or better than anyone. That he's fit for office. Prove it. Put the fuck up or shut the fuck up. Because right now, we're just supposed to take his word and the word of his lackeys and sycophants. And if President Obama's word wasn't good enough on his place of birth, then Trump's word sure as shit ain't enough.

Trump's gotta do a press conference, a real one, not a spontaneous one. He's gotta sit for an interview with someone who isn't one of his conservative ball washers. It's gotta be a real reporter who will ask him specific questions about specific policies and demand detail. C'mon, motherfucker. Let's see what you've got.

Also, Trump's gotta show he can act like a leader and not just an asshole pretending to be a tough guy. He's gotta give a speech where he talks actual policy and not just slogans. He's gotta focus and not just go through a list of shit like a brain-damaged monkey who can't decide what branch to sit on and throw feces, like he did yesterday in Nashville. No mentioning his electoral college win. No discussion of "Crooked Hillary." An intelligent, grown-up speech that an intelligent grown-up would make. It doesn't even have to be genius. Just stable. Show us all this magnificent man that all of his defenders see. Because right now, we sure as shit can't see it through the fog of degrading tweets and incoherent speech.

Of course, he won't do any of this. Even if Trump were asked to do it, he wouldn't because he can't. And those same obsequious fucks would get out there and tell us that he's too fucking smart for us to understand his layers and depths. Meanwhile, his idiot hordes will tell us that Trump is smart because, indeed, idiots want one of their own as their idiot king.

Here, in what we might quaintly refer to as "reality," we know that Trump's inability to speak in fluid sentences or his constant repetition and simple vocabulary isn't hidden genius. It's just a pathetic lack of intelligence. If we fail to question Trump on his basic ability to function, we are participating in a cover-up as surely as his family and every single person who won't go public with what they know about the man who bumblefucked into the presidency.

Note: Trump's lack of brain power doesn't forgive him or his vile family for any of their venal criminality. You can be dumb and evil.