Donald Trump Beclowns Himself in Puerto Rico

Jesus fuckballs, how much more embarrassing can this presidency get than soulless tangerine cretin Donald Trump play-acting sympathy while touring the devastation in Puerto Rico? At this point, Trump could drop his pants, bend over, and blow his fast food shits all over homeless children clutching their last teddy bear, and we'd say, "Yeah, we were pretty much expecting that."

Speaking at a National Guard base on the island, Trump spent a great deal of time on how awesome his administration is. He bragged about Linda McMahon more than he talked about the people of Puerto Rico: "I also want to thank Linda McMahon, Small Business. I always joke -- I said, she's in charge of small business, but small business is massive business when you add it all up. And she has done an incredible job -- built a great company with her husband, Vince McMahon. And I wanted her so badly for this position because there's nobody that knows how to build a company like those and, let me tell you, like this woman. She has been amazing in business, and now she's doing an incredible job as the Administrator." We get it, man. You like wrestling.

And then he gave a lesson in what Mick Mulvaney does: "Mick Mulvaney is here -- right there -- and Mick is in charge of a thing called 'budget.'" Trump pretty much did the rhetorical equivalent of blowing shit when he said, "Now, I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you've thrown our budget a little out of whack because we've spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico." I'm sure the starving people digging their few surviving possessions out of mud will try to economize to save the "budget." Fucking moron. Fucking clown.

But it got worse when he compared the deaths in Puerto Rico to the deaths during Katrina, which he really did, for fuck's motherfucking sake: "Every death is a horror. But if you look at a real catastrophe like Katrina, and you look at the tremendous hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people that died, and you look at what happened here with, really, a storm that was just totally overpowering -- nobody has ever seen anything like this." What kind of savage bitch-faced cock mite tells devastated people that they have it better than other devastated people? Comparing the number of reported (so far) deaths in Puerto Rico to New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, Trump said, "Sixteen people versus in the thousands." No, not "thousands." Less than 2000 died in Katrina. Horrible, but not thousands. Besides, this is not a game. Except to a clown, everything's a game.

You might be reading this, thinking, "Well, at least he didn't do that thing where he brags about himself." No, fuck you, of course, he did. When an Air Force representative talked about supply and rescue flights, Trump jumped in, "So amazing that we're ordering hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of new airplanes for the Air Force, especially the F-35." Then the chemicals in his shrunken brain rolling around inside his soft skull clicked over to campaign mode as he said, in the middle of a place that was ripped apart and will take years to put back together, "That's an expensive plane that you can't see. And as you probably heard, we cut the price very substantially -- something that other administrations would never have done, that I can tell you."

We are in some kind of psychological experiment in how much stupidity, shame, and savagery we can take before we break or we just say, "Fuck this. I'm watching Netflix and never coming out." And Netflix is calling louder and louder.

When he was getting ready to go on the tour, Trump said that the people who are waiting all day to get water or gas or food, who have no place to store the dead, who are starting to see diseases crop up, who have no power, should be grateful: "I appreciate your support and I know you appreciate our support, because our country has really gone all out to help. And it's not only dangerous, it's expensive." Yeah, they'll get right to decorating a thank-you card as soon as they can eat and have more than one operational hospital.

In Texas in August after Hurricane Harvey, Trump didn't mention how expensive the support would be. He didn't talk about the budget. In Florida in September after Hurricane Irma, Trump didn't say a word about the cost. Only in Puerto Rico. Only there.

And, leaving one area, he told the victims of the storm, "Have a good time." The whole visit was his way of saying that he's not responsible for the clusterfuck of ineffectiveness and incompetence that has ruled the rescue and clean-up effort so far. But Trump's the fuckin' president, man. He can spin, but he can't hide.

Goddamn, this dumb, racist asshole is beclowning our entire country.