Oh, sweet, dear, suffering people of the rude-iverse, we come now to the end of a year that was as vicious as a drunk uncle after being accused of finger-fucking the dog at a family Christmas party. We know that the coming year promises to make that drunk uncle come after our own assholes, and so, as we say, "Get the fuck gone already" to 2016, let us bury it with our haiku.
Yes, it's time for the Rude Pundit's Annual Haiku Celebration of the Dying Year. Submit your haiku about the year that is almost past, any subject. The only rules are that it has to be a for-real goddamn haiku (a line of five syllables, a line of seven syllables, and a line of five syllables). You can be as angry or sad or funny or fucked up as you like. The prize is just that the best ones get published on these here pages for all to see. The only judge is me, and so it depends on how drunk/high/altered I am at the time I'm reading.
When you submit, please say how you want to be identified, with a name and your place, like "Armando from Titty Fuck, Colorado" or "Shit Blaster from Lexington, Mass." If you got a website you wanna link to, send it along to.
Here are a few to get you started:
Purple Prince in his
Majesty, high above the
Mournful plains. Shed grace.
Fingers smell of raped pussy,
Nukes at the ready.
Hillary was screwed
By Comey's calamitous
Calumny. Fire him.
You got the idea? Email your entries to "rudepundit_at_yahoo(dot)com." I'll post the best, with a few more of my own, over the next few days.