Brave Republicans Are Scared of Gitmo Detainees

So it was that, along with the Department of Defense, President Barack Obama laid out yet another version of a plan to close the American gulag...wait...detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Just 91 detainees are held there, nearly all without charge and all without trial, in legal limbo for at least a decade, most much more. The treatment of the prisoners has been used as propaganda for terrorist groups throughout the Muslim world (although that has declined as the population there has declined). Obama wants to close it because, at a minimum, it's pretty hard to say you have the moral high ground when you are doing something so blatantly immoral. And it really does cost a whole lot of money to the military, who'd rather use the hundreds of millions of dollars elsewhere.

Obama says that the United States is a strong enough country to handle whatever actual criminals still remain at Gitmo. Unfortunately, Republicans are beside themselves at the idea that we'd close Gitmo and, of course, are vowing to continue obstructing any effort to end the facility's existence. Call it a "profile in cowardice, in colors of piss yourself yellow and shit yourself brown."

For instance, House Speaker Paul "Devolved Gingrich" Ryan said that transferring any detainees to American soil is against the law (and it is), adding, "We will not jeopardize our national security over a campaign promise." Senators and future ex-presidential candidates Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz both said some variation on "Fuck you. Don't close it. Expand it."

On and on it has gone. Rep. Jason "Face of a Pig" Chaffetz offered that Obama's plan "is dangerous and makes our country less safe." Senator Pat Roberts tweeted a short video of himself throwing the plan into the trash, which is exactly as wimpy as it sounds. All of them make the case that this nation is too weak to house alleged terrorists in our Supermax prisons. It's pretty fuckin' embarrassing to live in that country. And it's even more fuckin' embarrassing that much of the nation agrees with the cowards because, well, shit, they're cowards, too.

At this point, Obama should just tell everyone to go fuck themselves and empty Gitmo, just as he should have recess appointed a Supreme Court justice last week. Take him to court after everyone is transferred and let the chips fall where they may. Pull a George W. Bush and declare that his obligations under the Authorization for the Use of Military Force allows him to ignore the shit out of the law. Let's take this to the deadlocked Supreme Court.

Otherwise, this black eye will merely continue throb as the cowards win again.