In Brief: Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Shoot Up Heroin in the Middle of a Wheat Field

No. No. Fuck you, Kansas Governor Sam Brownback. You don't get to play touchy-feely with zombie women. You can suck a bucket of disembodied zombie dicks before you get to declare, as you did, that October is "Zombie Preparedness Month" in your sad state. Sure, your Christian extremist views make you believe in people coming back from the dead more than a voodoo priestess does, but you don't get to do this shit.

Not after all the threats of school budget cuts and actual cuts to actual things that actual people actually use. Not after almost destroying Kansas in pursuit of a brain-damaged dream of conservatopia that failed so miserably that you had to fucking beg and blackmail the legislature into raising some taxes. No, you don't get to spend a red fucking cent on this fake quirky, fake fun, fake zombie bullshit. Not for the paper you signed for the proclamation. Not on the time the staff spent putting it together. Not for the electricity in the fucking offices where this fuckery took place.

Goddamnit, why aren't those things real up there so that Brownback can learn the cost of denying his state's poor expanded Medicaid? Oh, wait. He'd have to be human in order for them to want to eat him.