In Brief: A Glimpse of South Carolina in the Wake of the Call for the Confederate Flag to Be Shit-Canned

Here's what the Rude Pundit imagines happened in South Carolina right when word leaked out that Gov. Nikki Haley would call for the removal of the Confederate flag from its padlocked place on a pole on the grounds of the capitol:

94.9% of the white people in the state breathed a sigh of relief. Even if they had never expressed it before, they hated that the flag was still there, mocking any attempts for the state to seem like it was progressing past its horrific racist past and its position as the birth canal of the Civil War. This doesn't mean that a good many of them won't tell others they think it's a tragedy and what about their pride in their ancestors who fought for states' rights and bullshit lie upon bullshit delusion. 'Cause, you know, they still have to fit in with their loudest friends.

5% of the white people in the state got enraged, thinking that Haley was giving in to the bleeding heart liberals that didn't understand that the flag stood for pride in their ancestors who fought for states' rights and bullshit lie upon bullshit delusion.

In fact, Haley addressed them directly, saying, "Those South Carolinians view the flag as a symbol of respect, integrity, and duty. They also see it as a memorial, a way to honor ancestors who came to the service of their state during time of conflict. That is not hate. Nor is it racism." And that'd be awesome, except for the fact that it is racist and it is hate and their ancestors fought and many died for a racist, hateful cause. It's fucking perverse, like a gang honoring a fallen member for all the cops he killed. Believe it or not, sometimes your dead relatives are pieces of shit who only deserve contempt.

A tenth of a percent of white people are angry at the niggers and nigger-lovers for desecrating their symbol and want to start a race war. But, you know, that's pretty much what those fucknuts were thinking before today.

Most of the black people of the state are more than likely thinking, "That's a nice step. Now how about not shooting up or burning our churches?"